Things you'll never hear in an Everton match.

[The Esk]

"and Woods has found the centre of the fairway" - not to be heard anywhere let alone Goodison

 

[daza_1973]

I reckon we'll be first game on MOTD tonight.....

 

[bluebottle]

"we can't win the league, it's just not possible."

 

[qwertyboy]

I hope Vic will come back one day once he has achieved all he can at Chelsea

 

[Deloodid]

if victor scores today he will win the golden boot award!

 

[mpatton]

I'm just popping down at half time for a chang. I'll only be a minute.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

That Jelavic could be as good as Barlow one day

 

[blue61]

"Great half time entertainment here at Goodison as Mr Testicles hits the bar for the third time to win a weekend for two in the lake district,"

 

[carlos_the_jackal]

What a run and CROSS From Seamus Coleman

Jelavic's second on Saturday.

 

[SaffaBlue]

Please stand by for operation goodison dancerzise.

 

[VaguelyBrown]

"I hope we lose the next couple, this winning lark is getting old"

 

[Toshie Blue]

And the fan of the week is on the top balcony

 

[just_COYB]

They should get rid of some of these supporting beams. Surely, it's overbuilt horribly. Start with half the beams, maybe more.

 

[just_COYB]

Manchester United, poor buggers, had to sell off their team after they got relegated.

 

[Count Duckula]

Hello, Hello, We are the Everton boys,
Hello, Hello, We are the Everton boys,
And if you are Liverpool fan, Surrender or you'll die,
Because we all follow the Everton, Hello, Hello.