Things you'll never hear in an Everton match.

[Cena]

"I can't wait for the next election, I'm gonna vote tory"

 

[bobobio]

- where's davek?
- he's over there hugging it out with kenright

 

[malcson]

"God I miss McFadden bombing down the wing"

 

[malcson]

"Wow I see that Rooney has slimmed down!"

 

[DanEFC92]

"Ofoe looks great doesn't he..."

 

[canuck]

" Come on lads its Barcelona ....THESE ARE ****E"

 

[bluebottle]

"Chang should be served chilled?"

 

[Joao Moutinho]

"I really like Pienaar's new haircut"

 

[bluebottle]

"I really like Pienaar's new haircut"

Monster! He looks good.

 

[DanEFC92]

[Playing United, a goal up] "Fourth official indicates there will be a minimum of 1 minute of added time, 1 minute."

 

[Joao Moutinho]

Monster! He looks good.

To be fair, he does, but the reaction I've seems less than complimentary

 

[Blu Bianco]

'Thats Brett Angell and Ibrahima Bakayoko down as greatest strikers in our hall of fame then'

'That Aston Villa team is really entertaining'

'Vic! Vic! Come back here now and put your shorts back on, I will have none of these shenanigans!'

Graham Poll and Mark Clattenburg to fans 'Sorry for being a pair of d*cks'

 

[flo]

"The lads look much better in red!"

 

[BlueLlama]

Can I have a quick read of your copy of The Sun mate?

 

[TX Bill]

That goal by Hibbert is contender for Goal of the Year.