Things you'll never hear in an Everton match.

[Number_25]

If any of you watch Mock the Week, you'll probably know the rules.

I'll start.

"What a perfectly timed fair challenge by Heitinga there."

 

[chicoazul]

"Shall we sing a song for you?"

 

[Famous Grouse]

And thats a fantastic finish from Alex Nyarko!

 

[stanleypark]

'That's a fair price for a pint'.

 

[Tubey]

I wish we'd kept Segundo Castillo.

 

[Ihaters]

Well played ref

 

[Ihaters]

I quite like that Suarez guy

 

[Kurt.]

I wish we had Brendan in charge here, not to train us... but to Educate us.

 

[Summerskin]

Rossy pronouncing any of our players' names right.

 

[TigerLily]

"Ah dammit! We scored a goal"

 

[bluejock]

"That pillar is doing a fantastic job of holding the roof up. You can hardly notice it either."

 

[McQueen]

And that's his third! Fabulous hattrick from Tony Hibbert

 

[chicoazul]

This week's Operation Goodison Exercise is cancelled due to that fat badly tit who jumps up and does starjumps near you boring the arse off the entire f*cking stand, thank you."

 

[bluejock]

"Mind your car for free mate?"

 

[Username]

In the 93rd minute the referee blows up to signal the game's end welcoming a passionate celebration from the Evertonians who had witnessed their team beat Barcelona 4-1, courtesy of a Phil Neville hatrick and ensuring they remain champions of europe for the 2nd season running.