I posted some time ago regarding my life and mental struggles. I can openly say I did/do have a gambling problem, and while I quit then it came back slowly over a few weeks, through my own struggle of resisting and possibly even a bit of unknowing enabling from my partner. When posting I think i had quit but hadn't quite "bit the bullet" and left a door open for me to do it "responsibly". Think someone said don't bother, even a tiny thing will draw you back in and it was absolutely correct.
Still struggling feeling low a fair bit, however generally the outlook has been positive. Hit a low point with the gambling 71 days ago (nothing major, no debt, nothing just having that struggle of having to do it and having it as a persistent hobby rather than a bit of fun on a Saturday but feeling that NEED to do it, even if it was only small stakes.). I can't say it's the worst night of my life, as unfortunately my family has been through a hell of a lot worse but I can say it's been the lowest I've felt through my own making. Since then I haven't looked back with betting since, still see adverts and stuff which makes me think and miss it, but ultimately I've thrown myself into work more, thrown myself into COD more, setting my gaming set up even more and really going "yeah, you know what the money I spent on football betting can now go to improving this, improving the house saving, saving money for a car etc". Gambling doesn't get the 'credit' it deserves for being a disease. Being addicted to it has shaped the entirety of my life from the age of 18, gradually taking more control. Honestly without my Mrs i'd 100% still be doing it. It is a life ruiner, and i'm lucky that I've had a mrs that has understood and been supportive. Thankfully i've closed any accounts I have but If i had the chance to look back at how much I'd lost betting over 10 years I would honestly throw up.
Also helps that work is actually a bit quieter due to COVID, become good mates with colleague in the office, Everton look like an ACTUAL football team for the first time in years and years. Looking forward to going to Goodison again. Had the courage to try Sunday League, not my thing after a few games, had an extremely unwelcoming experience with bluekipper years ago but reached 28/29 and decided I need to try it. Absolutely thrown myself into gaming, which is something i'm good at and can be a huge positive 'release' for me. Also at the point where a house deposit is on the horizon, even though its gone up to 15% we will be in a good position to buy with house prices plummeting soon. Will be starting a family soon.
I am 100% confident Everton will that positivity soon, naturally. However I feel in a better place than 3 months ago. For anyone else who feels or knows they've got a problem, there is always 100% a way out of it, you just need to find your way. I've found mine by throwing myself back into gaming and football (a good balance of activity) and distracting myself and now I feel comfortable dismissing betting or having no interest. I have other insecurities but most of the ones ive had in the past 10 years have led back in some direct, or indirect way to gambling.
Sorry for the long read, honestly don't know where else i'd post this just to vent it out I guess, but think its a good example that you can feel low, you can be lonely, you can be positive, you can be relatively happy, you can exercise, its normal but just not let those things be down to a problem that you CAN cut out. I dont think this applies just to a gambling problem, it can relate to smoking and drinking and others im sure. I still feel quite isolated, I don't have a social group, just a work mate or two and my fiance, so can be quite low and lonely sometimes, but apart from that I'm still managing to be positive and focus on the positive aspects of things. Honestly if you can do that, then you can overcome almost anything.
Hopefully another good performance tonight by the blues and I can hit day 72 with another positive start.
. After years of fights I bit my lip and tried it she absolutely hates it and I'm actually enjoying how uncomfortable I make her feel now I'm always smiling and asking her how she is beep the horn if I see her I even phoned her on her birthday to wish her all the best knowing the whole family were there saying that was so nice I know it ruined her birthday haha. Don't let the ex set the narrative don't let her see how she hurts you. You're a strong man you've come through so much crap take back your life make her think she can't hurt you in return that'll hurt her. Your daughters lack of understanding will change soon enough just be the loving strong dad that'll be there when her mum starts trying to control her life. God Bless mate and don't doubt how strong you can be you've shown so much strength already these last couple of years
