Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[JelavicBrate2]

Hey guys

Thought id share my story. Finding less and less people to talk to.

I have always had depression/anxiety and got diagnosed with ADHD at age 40.

I am married with two kids that have autism. I feel responsible for that as i feel my issues have led to them having their issues.

Anyway I have had a really rough 2026 personally due to an issue from the start of the year.

I changed jobs last year around June but at the old place I made a friend we had heaps in common like sports, music, sense of humour all that stuff. She was a lesbian which was fine because there was no romantic intent from my side, anyway we kept in touch as we both liked the same aussie footy team and she played football (soccer) and I would regularly pick her brain as I coach my boys' team, but generally we would chat on messenger send memes and catch up now and then. She was super supportive when i was going through a rough time at my old place and also as I have had some really tough times with the family. The boys hitting me, the wife not supporting me when I try to instill some discipline (i know they are autistic but I dont want them to not try to do the right things).

Anyway we met up at a pub near me just after new years we had a couple of drinks and as we were close to my house I invited her to meet the family and have some drinks at mine (totally innocent)in retrospect I think as it was the first time it was just us two maybe it felt inappropriate and maybe going to where the family was made it ok in my eyes (i dunno)

We talked and drank a lot, she was going through some issues with her partner (Girl) and was thinking of breaking it off.

Anyway near the end of the night she went outside to vape, I went with her just to keep talking and she turned around and kissed me. Yes, i kissed her back I saw her in a completely different light, then we walked back to the table (my wife was doing something else and wasnt around). She did mention something about meeting up at a hotel at some point and other racy comments.

Anyway she went home, i took a few days to wrestle with what happen, I had no idea of the whys and what fors. I really valued the friendship and at that point thought i could save the friendship i got in touch with her and she said she broke up with her GF. So at that point I really tried to give her space but in the meantime my head is spinning like mad, I was scared id lose a friend. So I tried a couple more times just to get an idea of why and try to process this. but all i got was I'm committing to the break up and i dont trust my feelings. Effectively blanked right.

Then I went to a colleague of the old place who is a friend of hers and was friendly with me (we kept in occasional touch) after i left. I told him what happened not to accuse or brag but for help to process this, i was pretty detailed only to give a truthful account of what happened. I asked him to keep it between us he said he would, but he told her. She hit the roof has blocked me totally cut me off. I asked him why he said something and he said he knew what happened and her version was different. He went back to her and she said to him none of that happened.

When she had a go at me before blocking she never mentioned I lied.

But at any rate I lost a good friend who i miss even 5 months later for something that wasnt my doing. I will never know why she did it in the first place or why i am so easy to mess with and discard.

I have told the wife so I have been above board. I doubt i would have gone through with meeting up with this other woman but the friendship meant a lot to me.

My view is that drink changes some people. It's not to lecture, merely an observation based on personal experience mixing Alcohol and emotion stress is a deadly mix. Drinking when your already feeling bad, makes things worse again from personal experience. I've done all sorts of things I regret after drinking that's why I'm trying to give it up. I'd make all sorts of promises to women, when drunk sober up and remember that I'm not that confident sober and that I wasn't that interested in said women. You didn't do it sober, which I'd why I'm focusing on alcohol aspect. If you'd been having affair while sober that would different issue entirely. Not lecturing, I've been worse culprit when it comes to using Alcohol to cope with life. My only advice is try seeking someone to speak to sober, when your going through certain things, because Alcohol and feeling exasperated by life can lead to mistakes.

 

[Furey1878]

Hey guys

Thought id share my story. Finding less and less people to talk to.

I have always had depression/anxiety and got diagnosed with ADHD at age 40.

I am married with two kids that have autism. I feel responsible for that as i feel my issues have led to them having their issues.

Anyway I have had a really rough 2026 personally due to an issue from the start of the year.

I changed jobs last year around June but at the old place I made a friend we had heaps in common like sports, music, sense of humour all that stuff. She was a lesbian which was fine because there was no romantic intent from my side, anyway we kept in touch as we both liked the same aussie footy team and she played football (soccer) and I would regularly pick her brain as I coach my boys' team, but generally we would chat on messenger send memes and catch up now and then. She was super supportive when i was going through a rough time at my old place and also as I have had some really tough times with the family. The boys hitting me, the wife not supporting me when I try to instill some discipline (i know they are autistic but I dont want them to not try to do the right things).

Anyway we met up at a pub near me just after new years we had a couple of drinks and as we were close to my house I invited her to meet the family and have some drinks at mine (totally innocent)in retrospect I think as it was the first time it was just us two maybe it felt inappropriate and maybe going to where the family was made it ok in my eyes (i dunno)

We talked and drank a lot, she was going through some issues with her partner (Girl) and was thinking of breaking it off.

Anyway near the end of the night she went outside to vape, I went with her just to keep talking and she turned around and kissed me. Yes, i kissed her back I saw her in a completely different light, then we walked back to the table (my wife was doing something else and wasnt around). She did mention something about meeting up at a hotel at some point and other racy comments.

Anyway she went home, i took a few days to wrestle with what happen, I had no idea of the whys and what fors. I really valued the friendship and at that point thought i could save the friendship i got in touch with her and she said she broke up with her GF. So at that point I really tried to give her space but in the meantime my head is spinning like mad, I was scared id lose a friend. So I tried a couple more times just to get an idea of why and try to process this. but all i got was I'm committing to the break up and i dont trust my feelings. Effectively blanked right.

Then I went to a colleague of the old place who is a friend of hers and was friendly with me (we kept in occasional touch) after i left. I told him what happened not to accuse or brag but for help to process this, i was pretty detailed only to give a truthful account of what happened. I asked him to keep it between us he said he would, but he told her. She hit the roof has blocked me totally cut me off. I asked him why he said something and he said he knew what happened and her version was different. He went back to her and she said to him none of that happened.

When she had a go at me before blocking she never mentioned I lied.

But at any rate I lost a good friend who i miss even 5 months later for something that wasnt my doing. I will never know why she did it in the first place or why i am so easy to mess with and discard.

I have told the wife so I have been above board. I doubt i would have gone through with meeting up with this other woman but the friendship meant a lot to me.

Look at it from her POV mate, she's supposedly not into fellas and then she finds herself kissing a married man while his wife is nearby. Sounds like she's fighting some demons as well.

I think her version of events will at best be self-deception that she isn't at fault or at worst, self-preservation should anything bad come of it.

I can see why she's went down the no contact route tbh, as it'd be difficult for things to go back to normal, nor do I imagine she wants to potentially break up a family.

None of what I'm saying is really any help to you, though, I'm sorry about that. Your head must be spinning all while you've got a difficult situation at home.

I don't think you've been discarded in any way that's a reflection of you being a bad person or anything though, mate. It's good that you want to be vulnerable with people and good on you for being honest with your wife. It's sjite to be dropped like a stone though lad, I feel for you there.