I just found out the new guy in the office next to me is a Red...

[SerenityNigh]

...What are the odds? For those that don't know I'm in the States.

New guy starts last week. Nice guy, getting along great.

5 minutes ago he walks into my office and sees my second screen with GOT up and says "You a Soccer guy"?

"Yes", I reply.

Him: "What kind of soccer guy"?

Me: "Everton kind of soccer guy"?

Him: "I'm Liverpool".

Me: "Jesus, what did you just say"?

Him: "Yeah, I'm going to bring all my stuff in to decorate my office now".

Me: "So am I then. It's an arms race from here on out".

Also me: "Have you ever been"?

Him: "No".

Me: "Of course you haven't".

It's on now.

JD, if you haven't set his screensaver to a picture of you at Goodison by the end of this week, I'll be terribly disappointed

 

[SerenityNigh]

Change his screen saver to this. There's RS all over it, and it's Anfield. See how long it takes him to notice.

Or this works

 

[Joey66]

Make sure your off sick after Derby day!

 

[johnnydawg68]

Can you maybe get one of those digital photo frames for your desk and just have the Stevie G slip on loop.

Great idea

 

[chicoazul]

Rush him into the bogs and beat his arse. Then when he reports it simply blame it on the Chelsea fan in the other department.



* the Chelsea fan doesn't exist but that's not important right now

 

[PITA]

Be nice, let him borrow your calculator from time to time

He only wants two answers, 18 or 5. That won't behave.

 

[Charles Hawtrey]

So I had the same situation about a year ago in Washington. New job, guy in a cube next to my office was one of them - what's the chances. However as I am for some reason 'in charge' I had them paint the outside of my office wall entirely royal blue. Every day he has to come in and sit in his cube next to a 30ft blue wall. All it took....

 

[Tel001]

Be nice, let him borrow your calculator from time to time

Just make sure it's not an old one ... no matter what the equation the old ones always answer "undisclosed"

 

[KevMirallas]

Colleague of mine is an Arsenal fan, and a while back he set my screensaver to Giroud celebrating at Goodison. The joke could soon be on him.

Perhaps set his to Niasse and see if the same cosmic forces are at work?

 

[Seathestars]

Bang his Mrs.

 

[Penno]

Petrol bomb him right in the face

 

[Jokerdan]

Drop a paving stone on his head then simply deny you were there when you did it.
That seems to work

 

[blue61]

There must be a Glen Close type of character around the office you can set him up with.

 

[lancs blue]

Kidnap him and play him constant messages of kenwright saying champions league and people's club. I'd refrain from playing brown shoes saying phenomenal. That would be torture

 

[Furey1878]

Where are you johnnydawg?

Specifically, what is your home address please @johnnydawg68 ?