Sorry mate. I should have given your previous post a more detailed response than I did. In my defence I was using my mobile at the time, which always takes an age as I have big thumbs, plus I was also trying to watch Uhtred of Bebbingburgh..
But as I briefly mentioned in my original post, the standard and quality of nursing and care homes varies greatly. They also vary greatly in price and I am quite sure that many of the higher priced ones are very different to the homes that I have experience of. We now live in Cornwall and some of the places we see down here look more like retirement homes than care homes.
As I said, my experience is with homes that are available with assisted funding from social services. When my mum was due out of hospital, we were in the fortunate position that my sister has an important job with the Liverpool Royal, so we were probably given a bit more leeway as regards vacating her bed. She and I went to see each nursing home in the area where a vacancy came up. Of the first 10 we saw, there was only one in which we would even consider putting mum, and that bed had sadly been taken earlier that day. I think it was the 11/12th home we saw which we took, but by that time we were getting more pressure from the hospital. It was a good choice by the way. In the 3 months she was there she was permanently bedbound so I didn't really get to see the nursing home in action.
My wife has a lot more experience than I do with care homes, through her mum and her uncle who were both residents in different homes at the same time. We were away when her went into a care home after a brief hospital stay following a fall. It was all sorted by the time we got back by her brother and I think the missus would have tried to wait and get her into the same home as her uncle. As is often the case, it was the female (my wife) who takes the lead in these things, the brother just showing his face now and again and stepping up if we're away.
I understand that most nursing homes are made up of residential beds and nursing beds, but in my experience the majority of these council approved homes are mainly nursing beds. And the bed turnover rate of under 12 months I mentioned is the nursing bed figure. The combined figure is around 18 months. Some residents may live there for years, but the majority will pass away in less than 12 months and in pointing that out I don't believe I am painting a false picture.
My wife became friendly with the management and staff in both homes and she used to help out the cheerleader in both (her name for the resident events organiser). Having given up work to care for her mum and uncle she now found herself with time on her hands with them both being in homes. The staff do their best to organise things for residents to do but the vast majority didn't participate and most just stayed in their rooms, either through choice or through necessity.
I'm sorry if this doesn't conform with your experience with care homes, but as I say, I have no experience of the higher end market. Just the bargain basement stuff so to speak. As a matter of interest, I've always thought you lived in Ireland. if you do, how did you get to know so much about our care home system.?
As regards the EPAs, my wife had one to cover her mum for both financial and health matters. She said that it was some sort of consent form she was asked to sign by the care home, and that if we didn't sign it then they would try and resuscitate her mum. My sister said something similar regarding our mum but that was 7 years ago now so she wasn't absolutely sure of the actual wording. My wife wasn't asked to sign one for her uncle so she presumed he sign this himself. I'm not sure if this conforms with the legal requirements or not; I can only tell you what happened.
And thank you for your message of sympathy. My mum passed away a while ago now, but my wife is still struggling to come to terms. She's had a hard time over the last 5 years or so. She suffers with thyroid problems that they just can't seem to get the medication right for. She had breast cancer for which she is having hormone treatment which basically puts her through the change again, and she suffers from anxiety and depression, but refuses to take medication for this. So she is finding things hard to come to term with, and is most likely still grieving, even though her mum passed away over 2 years ago. Her uncle a bit more recently.