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He's definitely the only footballer cheating with testosterone to speed up recovery. Oh yes.

We're struggling to meet payroll. It's not quite the same.

I was staggered he got through it without spontaneously combusting with rage or jumping off the hospital roof. Get well soon Paul!

Oh my god, we are abysmal.

I can Aware of that, was only speaking to my own experience.

My old neighbourhood that. Insane they haven't done anything to solve that problem in 25 years,

Yeah. Whoever our administrators are

Was asking more generally. What do we get out of supporting this shambles

Any money we raise from selling players will go to keep the club solvent for another few weeks

Literally can’t afford to pay Dyche off. Dreamworld, this

Again, I’m forced to ask. What are we supposed to get out of this?

We’ve been saying this for years. They’re just not good

We’re garbage. It’s our year

Because no sane professional with any sense of ambition wants to come to Everton. We are a basket case.

Well yes, cos then we have a stadium instead of a bowl of concrete and steel with no purpose. It's an asset not a liability at that point.

Getting relegated and going into administration with a half finished stadium is a much better plan, of course.

If he's ill I hope he can recover and enjoy a good standard of life in his final years. However, I want him absolutely nowhere near Everton football club because he's incompetent, mendacious and clings on tighter than a barnacle.

Duncan Ferguson Nobody else Not a great list, I'll admit.

Imagine that being our best moment in about a decade. God I hate Everton.

Can’t wait to write this one up. Real barrel of laughs and not a depressing chore at all