Till Death Do Us Part: Sharp Spike In Marriages As Russian Men Are Mobilized For Ukraine War
November 01, 2022 16:45 GMT
Since the Kremlin announced the mobilization less than six weeks ago, virtually every region across the country has seen a spike in marriages.
On October 22, Yelena Mikhailova and her longtime partner, Maksim, were married at the civil records office (ZAGS) in Pytalovo, a town in the Pskov region on Russia's border with Latvia. The hastily arranged wedding came just days after Maksim was called up to fight in Russia's unprovoked war against Ukraine in a mobilization decreed by President Vladimir Putin on September 21.
"I never thought everything would happen so quickly," Mikhailova said. "We weren't prepared for a wedding, but events pushed us to get married.... We didn't exchange rings because we didn't have the money to buy them. We decided we'd get them later when he comes back and, hopefully, they pay him at least some of the money he's been promised."
"We don't have much income," she continued. "Maksim doesn't really have work but he gets by on odd jobs. Lately he's been working as a mechanic. Now the main thing is to gather the things my husband needs. I bought him some warm socks and clothes so that he'd have them when they send him over there."
Mikhailova's story is far from unique. Since Putin announced the mobilization less than six weeks ago, virtually every region across the country has seen a spike in marriages. In most regions, mobilized soldiers are allowed to marry the same day that they submit their paperwork with their partners. Some regions have
arranged buses to get soldiers and their fiancees from mustering bases to the nearest marriage registration office, while others have arranged temporary wedding halls at the bases themselves.
Mikhailova's reason for getting married to Maksim, with whom she has lived for 19 years and raised two children, is also typical. "Mobilization is a bit frightening," she
told RFE/RL's North.Realities. "Anything could happen to him. In any case, legally married wives have more rights, so we decided to formalize our relationship."
'Just For All This To Be Over'
In September, 34 couples were married in the town of Kostomuksha in the northwestern Karelia region. One of them was Anna Vasilyeva and her mobilized husband, Aleksei. "When mobilization was announced, I still wasn't sure that I loved him," Vasilyeva told RFE/RL. "We were just dating and getting to know each other. But when his notification came, we were both struck suddenly, and we understood that we loved one another."
"I went to his base in Tver," she continued. "They gave him leave from his unit and we went to the central ZAGS, showed them his notice, and were married. The line was very long, and we stood for a long time. It was stuffy and uncomfortable."
In all, the 75 regions that reported marriage data to Mediazona carried out 31,000 weddings of mobilized soldiers in the four weeks after Putin's September 21 announcement.
After the wedding, over beer and sausages, Vasilyeva says she tried to persuade her husband not to go to war. "I told him to go to Georgia or to hide somewhere like other men from Karelia had done," she said. "But he refused. He and I have very different views on life and what is going on. His unit has been seriously 'brainwashed' by experienced instructors from the Vagner [private military] company."
"When we parted, I told him to remain human no matter what happens," she added. "Not to torture anyone if a Ukrainian surrenders to him. I sent him off, but I don't believe he will come back, although I tell him all the time on the phone that I am waiting for him and he must come home. But I am not confident he will remain the same good, sweet boy that I have known so long."
Back in Pytalovo, near the Latvian border, Yelena Mikhailova is alone with her two sons. "Who is going to feed us?" she asked. "He is gone. We have two sons -- who is going to raise them? And I'm also afraid for our eldest, who is 17. I didn't need a wedding. I don't need anything. Just for all this to be over."
"We want to live like we lived before," she said.
Written by Robert Coalson based on reporting by RFE/RL's North.Realities
Across Russia, marriages have shot up since President Vladimir Putin ordered a mobilization amid steep losses in the war on Ukraine. Many couples who were living together are making things legal after the man received his call-up notice -- in part to lock in spousal death and disability benefits.
www.rferl.org
