Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £80m
08/04/20
11:00 am Finally recovered. Well I say recovered but my chocolate starfish looks like a big asterisk. Give it a bit of time and no one will ever know it wasn't a proper closure. Another triumph for this redman!
11:30am Right back to Aldofest, can't be distracted. Send and email to John Henry to see if we can have Anfield for the event. I explain that it will re-open the floodgates with the Chinese fru and we can win the league again. He'll be up for that.
12:00 Oooh skype with Sir Elton Bleeding John! Looked a little like Andy Caroll in a pair of star shaped glasses and a wig, but he sang a version of Candle in the Wind. I was in tears lads, beautiful. Bet Princess Diana would have loved Aldofest. His friend Davy Furnish kept popping up as well. Just between us, he's one ugly sod that Furnish, looks just like Peter Beardsley with a spray tan and some fake horse teeth. He keeps giggling. They have some secret gay language between them. Why aye hesa duft busted taefa this beardo. Duftatha panchedhoose. They'll have to knock that off overwise they'll be down the bill supporting Sheree Murphee (little mix? honestly no idea, who did she sing with?)
1:00pm John Henry on the phone. Loves the idea, he's got a bigggg stand to fill and them empty seats aren't paying for themselves. If I cover 20% of the wages of the staff, he can get the other 80% paid for by the tax payers if it's for charity. Apparently this is exactly what he wants as it didn't go down well last time he proposed it. I'm not to tell anyone about this in case it gets leaked to the internet.
2:00pm Crown Paints have answered. I can have a big tin of satinwood finish and a medium sized tin of gloss for the event. Not what I wanted, but are you thinking what I'm thinking? Big Prize Raffle!
3:00pm John Henry again, FSG insist that they get the catering rights. I suppose that's fair.
4:00pm Big Keiran is sorting out the security and stewarding. He says he's at a loose end after having an argument with some bitter bloos. Good lad!
5:00pm John Henry wants to know who is doing the programmes. I dunno - he says he'll sort it. Cheers JH! For a fee of course.
6:00pm Ian Rush is on twitter having a whinge. Boo hoo hoo, Aldofest sounds good but Rushtlemania would have been good too, but Elton John won't come and play at my idea. I feel dead sorry for him. Wait a second, don't fall that again - I felt sorry for him when he failed in Italy and then he came back to steal my spot in the team. Dirty pizza guzzling Welsh job stealing prat. You can buy a ticket like everyone else.
7:00pm Quick nip out to the offy. Doesn't spaghetti legs ever go home? He's there with that bleedin' Djimi. How's the weather Aldo lad? Haha, very funny Brucie- that was a serious medical complaint. Heard Kenny and wee Sammy were around yours. Yes they were - they're going to be in my football extravaganza. Djimi asks if he can play too. Not even I'm that daft to pick him.
8:00pm John Henry has been on his calculator, apparently it's gonna cost a lot for electricity and cleaning and stuff, so maybe 10% of the ticket sales? Not sure, but sounds legit. He's got a head for business.
9:00pm Twitter storm going off! I've said that I don't have the Chinese fru, but to be sure I am not going to Li Tie's chippy for a few weeks to make sure. Everyone's calling me a big daft racist. I know they're a great bunch of lads, I saw that Irish Priest documentary based on that island too - I play for Ireland and am culturally sensitive. Apparently it isn't even Li Tie in the chippy and he's a successful business man in China or something. Maybe it's that Li Weifeng running the chippy, I dunno. Still stay away!
10:00pm John Henry again! Always thinking. Apparently they have to pump in atmosphere as well. Otherwise it won't be a special night at Anfield (TM). That's going to cost another 10% of the ticket price plus 15% of the merchandise. Good job this is for charity or I'd think he was a grasping money obsessed scumbag who didn't actually care about the club.
11:00pm Can't believe that BigPurpA is replying to Rushie the traitor. He can't wait to give Rushie a good going over in the ring. Rushie told him to wait until he feels the might of his muscles. BigPurpA is drooling at the thought of it. Kicking off big time! I have to pm them both before they head off to Morrisons car park in their stadium jackets. Lads lads, make love not war, but if you have to fight, bring it to Aldofest! It's turning into a monster this event!
11:30pm John Bleedin' Henry. administration and office costs, insurance, etc. If I outsource the ticketing to him he'll waive the fees. Heart of gold. Sorry for thinking you were trying to just suck every last cent out of the event for your own personal profit. I was mistaken.
Midnight. Sleep for the Aldo. I think the Special Brew has helped with my flapping sphincter. It was almost a perfect day. Absolutely nothing went wrong at all and my new barometer says it's going to be sunny tomorrow.
11:00 am Finally recovered. Well I say recovered but my chocolate starfish looks like a big asterisk. Give it a bit of time and no one will ever know it wasn't a proper closure. Another triumph for this redman!
11:30am Right back to Aldofest, can't be distracted. Send and email to John Henry to see if we can have Anfield for the event. I explain that it will re-open the floodgates with the Chinese fru and we can win the league again. He'll be up for that.
12:00 Oooh skype with Sir Elton Bleeding John! Looked a little like Andy Caroll in a pair of star shaped glasses and a wig, but he sang a version of Candle in the Wind. I was in tears lads, beautiful. Bet Princess Diana would have loved Aldofest. His friend Davy Furnish kept popping up as well. Just between us, he's one ugly sod that Furnish, looks just like Peter Beardsley with a spray tan and some fake horse teeth. He keeps giggling. They have some secret gay language between them. Why aye hesa duft busted taefa this beardo. Duftatha panchedhoose. They'll have to knock that off overwise they'll be down the bill supporting Sheree Murphee (little mix? honestly no idea, who did she sing with?)
1:00pm John Henry on the phone. Loves the idea, he's got a bigggg stand to fill and them empty seats aren't paying for themselves. If I cover 20% of the wages of the staff, he can get the other 80% paid for by the tax payers if it's for charity. Apparently this is exactly what he wants as it didn't go down well last time he proposed it. I'm not to tell anyone about this in case it gets leaked to the internet.
2:00pm Crown Paints have answered. I can have a big tin of satinwood finish and a medium sized tin of gloss for the event. Not what I wanted, but are you thinking what I'm thinking? Big Prize Raffle!
3:00pm John Henry again, FSG insist that they get the catering rights. I suppose that's fair.
4:00pm Big Keiran is sorting out the security and stewarding. He says he's at a loose end after having an argument with some bitter bloos. Good lad!
5:00pm John Henry wants to know who is doing the programmes. I dunno - he says he'll sort it. Cheers JH! For a fee of course.
6:00pm Ian Rush is on twitter having a whinge. Boo hoo hoo, Aldofest sounds good but Rushtlemania would have been good too, but Elton John won't come and play at my idea. I feel dead sorry for him. Wait a second, don't fall that again - I felt sorry for him when he failed in Italy and then he came back to steal my spot in the team. Dirty pizza guzzling Welsh job stealing prat. You can buy a ticket like everyone else.
7:00pm Quick nip out to the offy. Doesn't spaghetti legs ever go home? He's there with that bleedin' Djimi. How's the weather Aldo lad? Haha, very funny Brucie- that was a serious medical complaint. Heard Kenny and wee Sammy were around yours. Yes they were - they're going to be in my football extravaganza. Djimi asks if he can play too. Not even I'm that daft to pick him.
8:00pm John Henry has been on his calculator, apparently it's gonna cost a lot for electricity and cleaning and stuff, so maybe 10% of the ticket sales? Not sure, but sounds legit. He's got a head for business.
9:00pm Twitter storm going off! I've said that I don't have the Chinese fru, but to be sure I am not going to Li Tie's chippy for a few weeks to make sure. Everyone's calling me a big daft racist. I know they're a great bunch of lads, I saw that Irish Priest documentary based on that island too - I play for Ireland and am culturally sensitive. Apparently it isn't even Li Tie in the chippy and he's a successful business man in China or something. Maybe it's that Li Weifeng running the chippy, I dunno. Still stay away!
10:00pm John Henry again! Always thinking. Apparently they have to pump in atmosphere as well. Otherwise it won't be a special night at Anfield (TM). That's going to cost another 10% of the ticket price plus 15% of the merchandise. Good job this is for charity or I'd think he was a grasping money obsessed scumbag who didn't actually care about the club.
11:00pm Can't believe that BigPurpA is replying to Rushie the traitor. He can't wait to give Rushie a good going over in the ring. Rushie told him to wait until he feels the might of his muscles. BigPurpA is drooling at the thought of it. Kicking off big time! I have to pm them both before they head off to Morrisons car park in their stadium jackets. Lads lads, make love not war, but if you have to fight, bring it to Aldofest! It's turning into a monster this event!
11:30pm John Bleedin' Henry. administration and office costs, insurance, etc. If I outsource the ticketing to him he'll waive the fees. Heart of gold. Sorry for thinking you were trying to just suck every last cent out of the event for your own personal profit. I was mistaken.
Midnight. Sleep for the Aldo. I think the Special Brew has helped with my flapping sphincter. It was almost a perfect day. Absolutely nothing went wrong at all and my new barometer says it's going to be sunny tomorrow.
true things, jest, said. Something like that.
