My issue with what you wrote is that you seemed to be presupposing that people who identify as incels “don’t try”. Or that’s how I interpreted it (if incorrect I apologise) and I don’t fully agree with this. Obviously there are people who fall into what you describe- a vicious cycle of self pity and then outward misogyny and hatred, all without actually trying to do anything about it. I’ve got a friend like this- complains about his lack of dating life but never really goes out and socialises or puts himself in situations where he could meet someone.
But I also think we need to be aware of the fact that there are people who do try and fail and also there are probably thousands of people in the population (mostly men) who are actually the definition of “incel” but aren’t weird enough to peruse Internet forums and label themselves as one- they simply don’t even know the word exists. They just have bad luck with women/are weird but each week they’re out in the clubs and everyday they’re swiping on tinder. But that doesn’t mean they will get any success.
This is what I think also. The vast majority of these men probably have had enough misery and loneliness to deal with without being labelled as potentially dangerous radicals as well.
Also agree that there must be a small but statistically significant minority that are incel. It means that there are surely such people in every community, trying to get on with their lives without threatening anyone. You can't spot an Incel but with some individuals that I have known in life, I'd wager they fall into this definition, whether they know about, care about it, or otherwise.
My opinion is that people for whom this is an issue should be encouraged to seek help. I do think that, at least for some people, relatively common broader issues like depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and poor social skills, contribute to their plight. In an age where there seems to be a fix for almost everything, people should feel empowered to talk about it. However, it is no surprise they do not and will not. The whipping up of hysteria in relation to this (and I fully understand the awfulness of the recent event) is not justified.
The next step is to hound out the incel who lives next door, or the loner at work because you're uncomfortable about it, the "something will have to be done" attitude.
