The Common Denominator

[LocalNative]

• Leandro (£500K), who?
• Funes Mori (£9.5m from Argentina), odd player. Looked class one second, and then like he was here as part of some charity event the next. Sold.
• Tarashaj (£3m), who?
• Oumar Niasse (£13.5m from Russia), crap. Released
• Gueye (£7.1m from relegated Villa), great player. Sold for a profit to PSG when he wanted to leave.
• Williams (£9m from Swansea) unfit, badly mannered, crap. Released.
• Bolasie (£22.5m from Palace), crap. Been loaned out and failed at every club he has been in. Probably about to get released.
• DCL (£1.5), ace.
• Lookman (£7.5m from Charlton), decent potential, but forced a move where he ended up languishing in Germany. Hit and miss at relegated Fulham this year.
• Schneiderlin (£20m from United), one of the worst players I've seen play for us. Never looked arsed. Binned off to France.
• Pickford (£25m from relegated Sunderland), decent.
• Klaassen (£23.5m from Ajax), utter crap. Binned off after one season, looked lightweight and not that arsed.
• Onyekuru (£6.8m), never played for us. Sold for a small profit to Monaco.
• Sandro (£5.2m from Spain), was supposed to take us to the next level - ended up being crap. Binned off back to Spain where he has a reputation as a waste.
• Keane (£25m from Burnley) inconsistent.
• Rooney (£10m from United) one decentish season, but his legs were gone by the time he came back home. Probably sold a load of shirts though.
• Martina (Free), [Poor language removed].
• Sigurdsson (£40m from Swansea) flattered to deceive, showed so much ability but often lacks impact. Never worth £40m.
• Vlasic (£8m) barely played for us, now tearing up in the Russian league with CSKA.
• Tosun (£21m from Turkey) fascist sympathiser that would often shrug when asked to make any sort of run. Loaned off, but will probably never play for us again.
• Walcott (£20m from Arsenal), hard worker but lacked any sort of real impact. Released to Southampton now. Waste of money to be honest.

That period of 19 players is a disgrace. Gueye, DCL, Pickford and Keane aside.... wow.

Schneiderlin
Klaassen
Tosun
Sigurdsson
Bolasie
Walcott

A combined £146m.

 

[Death]

Mathematicians now are we. Answer me this.

How many tons (1000 litres) of urine does it take to fill a basement room in Formby?

 

[Eggsyblueskin]

Despite our longevity in the top league our historical average position remains solidly mid table.
Looking back, our periods of major success are surrounded by decades of mediocrity.
We are the league’s quintessential, nailed on mid table club.
Perhaps we should finally learn to embrace our dismal destiny?

 

[tommytowne]

Mathematicians now are we. Answer me this.

How many tons (1000 litres) of urine does it take to fill a basement room in Formby?

Based on the slightly heavier density of piss to clean water I'm hazarding a guess of 1.05 tonnes.

 

[tommytowne]

Despite our longevity in the top league our historical average position remains solidly mid table.
Looking back, our periods of major success are surrounded by decades of mediocrity. Kind
We are the league’s quintessential, nailed on mid table club.
Perhaps we should finally learn to embrace our dismal destiny?

Easy thing to do for me.
I'm the eternal half glass empty kind of guy.

 

[Egil Olsen]

Despite our longevity in the top league our historical average position remains solidly mid table.
Looking back, our periods of major success are surrounded by decades of mediocrity.
We are the league’s quintessential, nailed on mid table club.
Perhaps we should finally learn to embrace our dismal destiny?

Yes, if no massive investments are made, or Ancelotti designs a master plan, then we will be a team between 12-7 place. But while we remain a completely average PL team, is it too much to ask that we supporters get some entertainment? I do not expect tiki taka Barcelona, but I will settle for a couple of coordinated attacks, some hard tackles and duels, and a bit of aggression. Something that makes everyday life light up a little. I would rather take a 15 place with a bit of offensive football, aggression and passion, than park the bus with a flat battery and end up in a tenth place on the table.

 

[Eggs]

....not appointing the right Manager & DoF.

City became rich & struggled for many years until getting it right, as did United after SAF and the Reds before Klopp.

The answer to the question is simple. Finding the right appointment is so difficult.

 

[Chimpy Glassman]

False dichotomy, that.

 

[tommytowne]

Thinking back a few seasons ago I think the last time we qualified for Europe, without checking, we finished sixth. We finished 13 points ahead of team beneath us and about six points behind the team above. We truly were the best of the rest. We didn't kick on, and the teams beneath us improved massively so we're back to square one.

 

[Carlito]

Despite our longevity in the top league our historical average position remains solidly mid table.
Looking back, our periods of major success are surrounded by decades of mediocrity.
We are the league’s quintessential, nailed on mid table club.
Perhaps we should finally learn to embrace our dismal destiny?

No one has played more Premier League seasons without kicking a ball in the Champions League proper than Everton (29).

Next on the list are Villa (26), West Ham (25) and Southampton (22).

....not appointing the right Manager & DoF.

City became rich & struggled for many years until getting it right, as did United after SAF and the Reds before Klopp.

The answer to the question is simple. Finding the right appointment is so difficult.

City were no Chelsea, but they were in the Uefa Cup after two seasons, Champions League and FA Cup winners after three, and champions after four.

Next season will be our the sixth under this regime. I don't think it's going to happen.

 

[Eggs]

No one has played more Premier League seasons without kicking a ball in the Champions League proper than Everton (29).

Next on the list are Villa (26), West Ham (25) and Southampton (22).


City were no Chelsea, but they were in the Uefa Cup after two seasons, Champions League and FA Cup winners after three, and champions after four.

Next season will be our the sixth under this regime. I don't think it's going to happen.

...no. I stand by the DoF/Manager being the key appointments. Moshiri has backed them all financially but he’s failed to appoint the right people in those key positions.

 

[Carlito]

...no. I stand by the DoF/Manager being the key appointments. Moshiri has backed them all financially but he’s failed to appoint the right people in those key positions.

I don't disagree. I just don't think there's much evidence to suggest that it's going to change under Moshiri and Kenwright's leadership.

The DoF has been retained for another three years, despite him appearing not to complement the very well-paid manager.

It's become one big Gordian knot.

 

[zukai12_]

Park enders

 

[ToffeeDan]

Recruitment has been a massive issue for us since Moyes left:

• Kone (£5m from Wigan) Bobby's first signing, crocked and was never really able to show his ability. Had a couple games where he demonstrated an ability to link up with Lukaku, but a bad signing overall.
• Alcaraz (Free) one of the worst players I've seen play for us.
• Robles (£4.5m from Atletico) offered decent cover, when Howard's arms fell off he looked alright - but not to the level expected. Sold.
• McCarthy (£13m from Wigan), decent first season and then his legs fell off. Binned off to Palace to free some wages/squad space.
• Lukaku (£28m from Chelsea), good player, scored loads, but wanted to leave when he realised we were regressing. Sold for a profit.
• Barry (Free from City), fantastic player, but was a short term fix as he was nearing the end of his career.
• McGeady (£1.5m from Russia), crap. Binned off.
• Besic (£4m from some CIS team), crap player. On the books, but not played a game in over a year.
• Eto'o (Free) decent in parts, but rumours but his attitude in the dressing room stank. Binned.
• Lennon (Free?) decent in parts, but injuries ended him here. Binned.
• Cleverley (Free) crap.
• Holgate (£500k), moneys worth. Not sure if he's got what it takes, not really developed.
• Leandro (£500K), who?
• Funes Mori (£9.5m from Argentina), odd player. Looked class one second, and then like he was here as part of some charity event the next. Sold.
• Tarashaj (£3m), who?
• Oumar Niasse (£13.5m from Russia), crap. Released
• Gueye (£7.1m from relegated Villa), great player. Sold for a profit to PSG when he wanted to leave.
• Williams (£9m from Swansea) unfit, badly mannered, crap. Released.
• Bolasie (£22.5m from Palace), crap. Been loaned out and failed at every club he has been in. Probably about to get released.
• DCL (£1.5), ace.
• Lookman (£7.5m from Charlton), decent potential, but forced a move where he ended up languishing in Germany. Hit and miss at relegated Fulham this year.
• Schneiderlin (£20m from United), one of the worst players I've seen play for us. Never looked arsed. Binned off to France.
• Pickford (£25m from relegated Sunderland), decent.
• Klaassen (£23.5m from Ajax), utter crap. Binned off after one season, looked lightweight and not that arsed.
• Onyekuru (£6.8m), never played for us. Sold for a small profit to Monaco.
• Sandro (£5.2m from Spain), was supposed to take us to the next level - ended up being crap. Binned off back to Spain where he has a reputation as a waste.
• Keane (£25m from Burnley) inconsistent.
• Rooney (£10m from United) one decentish season, but his legs were gone by the time he came back home. Probably sold a load of shirts though.
• Martina (Free), [Poor language removed].
• Sigurdsson (£40m from Swansea) flattered to deceive, showed so much ability but often lacks impact. Never worth £40m.
• Vlasic (£8m) barely played for us, now tearing up in the Russian league with CSKA.
• Tosun (£21m from Turkey) fascist sympathiser that would often shrug when asked to make any sort of run. Loaned off, but will probably never play for us again.
• Walcott (£20m from Arsenal), hard worker but lacked any sort of real impact. Released to Southampton now. Waste of money to be honest.
• Richarlison (£35m from Watford), one of our best players but struggled in empty stadiums.
• Digne (£18m from Barca), one of our best players, but struggled in empty stadiums.
• Bernard (Free), looks lightweight. Struggled with mental health. High wages. Crap.
• Mina (£28m from Barca), has ability but injuries make him unreliable. Prone to the odd mistake.
• Gomes (£28m from Barca), doesn't really do anything. Crap.
• Gbamin (£23m from Germany), legs fell off after his first game. Waste of money.
• Kean (£25.1m from Juve), never played consistently for us - when he did he didn't look arsed. Loaned to PSG, probably going to leave this summer.
• Iwobi (£40m from Arsenal), utter crap. Zero impact.
• Nkonkou (£250k from France), prospect.
• Allan (£21m from Italy), decent player, injuries have been an issue this season.
• Rodriguez (£9m from Madrid) easily our best player, but made from literal glass.
• Doucoure (£20m) glimpses this season, but not consistent. Often looks rudderless.
• Godfrey (£20m), first season has been a huge success. Probably our player of the season.

• Marks out of 10

10 Lukaku - a bargain, Gueye, DCL

9 Barry - fantastic , Godfrey (future captain)

8 Keane (mostly decent), Richo (mostly decent, generally puts in a shift), Digne (mostly decent)

7 Pickford (when not being an idiot), James (if he stays fit a great player)

6 Sigurdsson (just ok, not worth the fee), Mina (I think there's a good player in there somewhere), Nkoukou (looks good so far), Allan (clearly knows what he's doing but injury problems), Doucoure (good for half a season, injured)

12 in bold to keep, along with Davies, Coleman, Virginia (Olsen perhaps if he wanted to sign), Gordon (Kenny, I don't really know now) - but these 15 or so need 5-6 decent additions and, doubtless a few youngsters and a couple of those below who we can't shift.



5 Robles (met expectations), RFM, Rooney (but well past his best)

4 Holgate, Lookman (nark), Onyekuru (we made a profit)

3 McCarthy - Injury case, Lennon (not good enough), Vlasic (another Velios)

2 Kone, Bernard, Cleverley, Oumar (ok as a sub), Martina (idiotic buy), Tosun (half-decent for half a season), Walcott (past his best, stupid buy), Gomes (injury basket case), Kean (idiot), Iwobi (not good enough)

0- 1 Alcaraz (occasionally fit), Eto'o (nark), Bolasie (injury basket case), Schneiderlin (injury), Klaasen (why?), Sandro (!!), McGeady (cheapo from Russia), Besic (wage thief), Leandro, Tarashaj (wage thief), Williams (wage thief), Gbamin (well, who knows?), Delph (who?)

Recruitment Average: 15 Successes 32 Failures. A very poor record.

 

[Eagle Eye]

• Marks out of 10

10 Lukaku - a bargain, Gueye, DCL

9 Barry - fantastic , Godfrey (future captain)

8 Keane (mostly decent), Richo (mostly decent, generally puts in a shift), Digne (mostly decent)

7 Pickford (when not being an idiot), James (if he stays fit a great player)

6 Sigurdsson (just ok, not worth the fee), Mina (I think there's a good player in there somewhere), Nkoukou (looks good so far), Allan (clearly knows what he's doing but injury problems), Doucoure (good for half a season, injured)

12 in bold to keep, along with Davies, Coleman, Virginia (Olsen perhaps if he wanted to sign), Gordon (Kenny, I don't really know now) - but these 15 or so need 5-6 decent additions and, doubtless a few youngsters and a couple of those below who we can't shift.



5 Robles (met expectations), RFM, Rooney (but well past his best)

4 Holgate, Lookman (nark), Onyekuru (we made a profit)

3 McCarthy - Injury case, Lennon (not good enough), Vlasic (another Velios)

2 Kone, Bernard, Cleverley, Oumar (ok as a sub), Martina (idiotic buy), Tosun (half-decent for half a season), Walcott (past his best, stupid buy), Gomes (injury basket case), Kean (idiot), Iwobi (not good enough)

0- 1 Alcaraz (occasionally fit), Eto'o (nark), Bolasie (injury basket case), Schneiderlin (injury), Klaasen (why?), Sandro (!!), McGeady (cheapo from Russia), Besic (wage thief), Leandro, Tarashaj (wage thief), Williams (wage thief), Gbamin (well, who knows?), Delph (who?)

Recruitment Average: 15 Successes 32 Failures. A very poor record.

Yes I came up with 15 successes and some of them were highly questionable. A 1 in 3 success rate in the transfer market is not good enough. This was probably 1 in 2 under Moyes and same or better under Kendall first time around...