The binman chronicles
Player Valuation: £80m
The lawmakers in America are absolutely horrified by those figures and after 2 days locked in a room have come up with the solution that more guns are needed. If absolutely everyone carried a gun then mass shootings would be reduced as chances are the problem would be sorted by 2-3 people, anyone killed in crossfire would not count as that is an accidental death. For which they will be sued for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Starting from Monday there will be a free handgun in every promotional pack of Rice Krispies. God bless America.