Probably an opportune time to invoke the Cuco Equation.
So D, I'm seeing a lot of "Well Trump is (insert character deficiency) but so is (insert Democratic politician) and it's simplistic logic that I admit works quite well because;
The first and third components of this logic hold up in every circumstance, but it's the second point that warrants closer inspection, as just because it is somewhat true doesn't really tell the whole story. So I have formulated the Cuco Equation which I hope explains what I mean more clearly.
- It's a coherent sentence
- It usually has some truth in it
- Pulling it apart every time would take too long and derail the thread.
The Cuco Equation
Here are our two subjects:
- On the left is Cuco Martina, Everton right-back and possibly the worst professional footballer I can think of.
- To his right is Jimmy, a boy born with a rare congenital defect that means he has cucumbers for legs
Now, Jimmy doesn't let his disability deter him and his love of football. He plays football all the time and, within the very small sample group of children who have cucumbers for legs, he might even be considered pretty good. But overall, he has worse control than Lukaku, no upper body strength, no accuracy, no pace and any small successes he has on the field are usually facilitated by his loving and supportive friends.
Now at this point, there are two true statements we could make about both Cuco and Jimmy:
The Scenario
- They both play football
- They are both terrible at football
So let's say, hypothetically, we're debating who should line out against Manchester United tomorrow, and these were your only two choices for right-back, you could say this to argue Jimmy's case:
"Yeah Jimmy's bad at football, but so is Cuco Martina." This is a true statement
And if you wanted to indicate that you were just taking the middle ground and not overlooking Jimmy's severe defects as a footballer, you could say something like "Our scouting policy is terrible if these are our only two choices", to further shift the conversation elsewhere.
But all joking aside about Cuco's relative merits as a footballer, if we were to line out against Manchester United tomorrow, and give ourselves the best chance of beating them, you would absolutely have to go with Cuco. He's a terrible footballer in the context of professional football, but would still probably be the best player in a league 1 or non-league side. Regardless of what you think of him, he is overwhelmingly more likely to contribute to the game than Jimmy, the boy with cucumbers for legs.
Conclusion
So when you read a sentence like "Yeah, well Trump says stupid things, but so does Joe Biden"; it's true, but severely under-reflects the weighting of how that truth applies to both men. One man is doddery and trips over his words, one tells a population of people to inject themselves with bleach, and it's not even the dumbest thing he has ever said.
Just to be clear, Trump is the boy with cucumbers for legs
