Woolly Blue
Player Valuation: £80m
Here's how I genuinely feel about BOBSY now...
Imagine, you go on a date and she's ACE, pwoppper lovely. And she's got the 'effin lot, you're captivated, and you think there's a future with her because you hang off EVERY word she says, she's interesting, puts your ex in the shade on EVERY level. So you go out again, and again, and again...and still you've got that feeling, the flutters an' that, you dig her, FONZY BIG-TIME, and you simply can't shake the feeling that she's the one...
But you've noticed, a bit, that she tends to repeat things...but you let that go, even though it's a little tiny bit annoying, because, as said, she could be everything you've ever wanted, you forget it but it's still there, lurking...
And on you go, you move in, and she's still lovely, but she's STILL telling you the same stories, always the same stories. And then you work it out...
Yes, she's lovely, she is, and she's nice, and kind, and looks the part and....everything. And you don't want to hurt her or make her feel bad because of this, because you like her so much but...but...
...but this could be long term, you think, forever, and I've barely scratched the surface and all I've received is more surface, it's not her fault, it's just who she is. And you realise that what she says on repeat isn't her being bland, or boring, it's simply all she knows, it's simply all she's got to say. She means well though, you know that much...
So you marry her, and live happily in the championship for about two years.
END
It's not too late mate. Stop worrying about Everton, divorce your missus and move on.