Joke thread

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Kopite, Hindu and a Jew are all out for a walk on the dales when night rolls in and they are left stranded. So they find a nearby farm and ask the farmer if they can stay the night as they are stranded. The farmer says yes but that he only has two spare beds so one of the three will have to sleep in the barn.
Hindu fellow says he doesn't mind and he will sleep in the barn, so the other two bed down but two minutes later there is a knock at the door, Hindu says he can't sleep in the barn as there is a cow in there. So the Jew says alright I'll stay in the barn you have what was my bed. So they bed down once again, but two minutes later there is a knock at the door, Jewish bloke says he can't sleep in the barn as there is a pig in there. So the kopite sees sense and says he will go and stay in the barn and gives up what was his bed. So they all bed down and two minutes later there is a knock at the door...






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...it was the pig and the cow.
 

I explained to the doctor, "Whenever I harvest our cornfields, I get a really bad headache."

"It's a migraine," he explained.

"No, it's not, it's mine - and why the **** have you started speaking Italian?"
 
Scottish guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The guy next to him says "I'd know that brogue anywhere! Whaur ar ye frae"? "A'm frae North Kiltstown"! "Ach! A'M frae North Kiltstown!! Hou auld ar ye?"? "A'm 35 year auld"! "Ach, so am A"!

Guy sitting next to them both says to the bartender "That's amazing, isn't it"?

Bartender says, "Not really. The MacKenzie twins are just pissed again".
 

My missus just threw a block of cheese at me.

I just looked at her and said, ' thats very mature isn't it'.
 

[video=youtube;vRZiF_uOvv4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRZiF_uOvv4[/video]

This is a great movie.. Sensitive minds might not like the joke..
 

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