Footballing conspiracy theories

[JimmyJeffers]

Sean dyche doesn't wash. He just assimilates all of the world's smells into his natural musk. There's so much going on that us mere mortals can't smell anything, so he doesn't smell of anything to us.

Like a big ginger smell planet. Terrifying.

 

[Kurt.]

Jessie Lingard will always be a promising youngster

 

[kev]

Yung Li Shaap was the first oriental Man Utd player


One for the oldies there.

 

[GP_Monty]

Robbie Keane was a boyhood fan of every single team he played for in his footballing career, including Atletico Calcutta.

 

[GP_Monty]

Wolves and Southampton have never actually played each other.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Jessie Lingard will always be a promising youngster

Have got weirdly addicted to his social media recently. Is grotesque

 

[PhilM]

Have got weirdly addicted to his social media recently. Is grotesque

He's a bellend, that's why. An acquaintance, who works for the United setup, said he lost a lot of his interest in football many, many years ago.

His fashion label and other players wives and girlfriends were some of his more pressing interests.

 

[MikeH72]

Wolves and Southampton have never actually played each other.

Wolves don’t play anyone other than United at Old Trafford.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

He's a bellend, that's why.

Like a big baby. Can’t believe he’s nearly 30.

 

[Alan Whittle]

Birmingham winger Don Corleone deliberately broke Man City keeper Bert Trautman’s neck in the 1956 FA Cup Final. Trautman, a former guard at Colditz, had foiled an escape led by Corleone via the Castle pond, where he was found “swimming with the fishes.”

 

[MikeH72]

Like a big baby. Can’t believe he’s nearly 30.

Do you reckon he’s ever cooked a meal or put a wash on? I honestly can’t picture it.

 

[degsy]

A bit far fetched even for a conspiracy theory, but I heard that Bill Kenwright never put so much as 1 brass wazoo of his own money into the Club.

 

[COYBL25]

Benitez had the best interests of Everton Football Cloob at heart.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Do you reckon he’s ever cooked a meal or put a wash on? I honestly can’t picture it.

Probably put the clothes in the washing machine then do that weird JL hand gesture then get confused why his clothes weren’t clean.

 

[GP_Monty]

Benitez had the best interests of Everton Football Cloob at heart.

Cloob will never not be funny.