Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[the golden visionary]

I don’t know why I ramble on and on when this is all I should have said too....

There's no formula for this thread, you said what was needed

 

[Goat]

I don’t know why I ramble on and on when this is all I should have said too....

There is no right or wrong mate.

Im sure the time and effort is appreciated.

 

[witchdoc187]

So, had a good day, i booked in a floatation tank. Thought it would send me insane but actually had the opposite effect.
There was something calming about floating there in the dark.
I managed somehow to calm all the randomness of my mind , and think clearly. Then i could see the stresses of work for what they were, good problems, ive got a decent job and its not that hard, i just need to remain calm and prioritise work, see thru the blame game and only respond with facts and processes.

Ive booked in again for 2 weeks time.

Yes mate I've found these help. I would highly recommend meditating too if you've found this of benefit. I've also had psychadelic therapy but I reckon that's a bit much for this forum

 

[Trimm Trabb]

So sorry for your loss. I can empathise completely. My best friend died a few months ago - the culmination of a several years’ of inveterate alcoholism.

My situation different to yours in a very important way. My friend’s death was not entirely unexpected. We all saw how his anguish over his life situation was progressively consuming him. On the other hand, your friend’s death cane out of the blue. Feel for you, that must be worse in so many ways.

People don’t willingly take their own lives unless they have a serious mental health problem. Some with the illness hide it better than others. All depends on upbringing I imagine and how much of a stigma the individual thinks it must be to feel they way they do. That would more logically explain why he didn’t talk to anyone - even his family and friends.

I went through a whole range of emotions too: shock, confusion, anger, grief and, for a long time, guilt.

My own similar experience possibly puts me in a position to give you some advice on more quickly adapting to your loss. This is how I eventually coped:

1) He counted me as a friend. If he wanted me to do anything for him he would have asked. If he wanted to talk to me I was available (eventually sometimes). I never rejected him and neither did he reject me. He wanted to deal with his demons on his own. Unless we’ve been there ourselves, we can’t judge. So don’t judge.
2) He was in pain and I take comfort in knowing he now isn’t.
3) Realising now that I was never in a position to do more for him has made me see that my guilt feelings were really feelings of helplessness. Guilt is such a negative and destructive emotion. Unless you directly caused or facilitated your friend’s death then no way should you feel guilty. Acknowledge those feelings as a sense of helplessness, which is a proportionate and human reaction. Then make peace with it and let it go.
4) I’ve accepted I’m never going to find the answers to the questions you’re probably desperately grappling with right now. Let that go too. Let him become a memory that brings a smile to your face, not an unsolvable puzzle that will only infuriate and torment you. You both deserve better than that.

Hope you find solace very soon, mate.

Wise words, thank you. I think you’re right about the stigma he may have felt. He was very much the leader of our ‘gang’ when we were kids, and even as adults to a certain extent, so maybe he thought talking to us about it would show signs of weakness.

I feel better for getting it off my chest and your reply has really helped. Thanks again for taking the time.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Been waking up a few times in the night recently thinking there's a spider on my head. Generally no idea where I am, and have often flipped myself round and am at the arse end of the bed. Which is, erm, interesting.

 

[COYBL25]

Been waking up a few times in the night recently thinking there's a spider on my head. Generally no idea where I am, and have often flipped myself round and am at the arse end of the bed. Which is, erm, interesting.

Possibly anxiety manifesting itself in your sleep. ( which is understandable )

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Possibly anxiety manifesting itself in your sleep. ( which is understandable )

That does seem plausible. It does probably creep to the surface in those peculiar ways, but it's worth keeping an eye out for those signals.

 

[COYBL25]

That does seem plausible. It does probably creep to the surface in those peculiar ways, but it's worth keeping an eye out for those signals.

If I go to bed worrying about something I can guarantee at least one bad dream and waking up much earlier than usual almost in a blind panic and disorientated.

 

[Gaffa]

From a recovered person who suffered 4 years ago, anyone, anytime that needs or fancies a chat about life, Football, anything, drop us a line any time, any hour. Sometimes talking to people you don't know or haven't met can work wonders as people don't judge and shouldn't regardless
Rob

 

[Bruce Wayne]

If I go to bed worrying about something I can guarantee at least one bad dream and waking up much earlier than usual almost in a blind panic and disorientated.

Hard to kid yourself when you're asleep isn't it? Your body keeps the score.

 

[jonnyboy316]

I’d get that checked out

Thanks. I have done loads of tests/scans sessions with GP and a neurologist. Everything has come back normal. They believe there is no underlying condition and it might have been brought on by a stressful incident screwing my nervous system. I was a victim of quite a serious incident in November

 

[Groucho]

Thanks. I have done loads of tests/scans sessions with GP and a neurologist. Everything has come back normal. They believe there is no underlying condition and it might have been brought on by a stressful incident screwing my nervous system. I was a victim of quite a serious incident in November

I see

 

[Grinch]

So, at the start of this year, the wife found out she was pregnant. We weren't not planning, but equally, we're both over 40 so didn't really expect anything to happen either, so it was a bit of a shock. At our age, these things aren't straightforward though, and she was really sick the past fortnight. I work from home, so was able to look after her, but her family obviously live in another country, and mine are [Poor language removed], so we've been kind of on our own with it. It didn't help (from my perspective at least) that the medical staff seem to treat you like you're not there during any consultation.

On Tuesday, due to complications, we lost the baby. I'd kinda considered that parenting wouldn't happen, for a variety of reasons, but had warmed to the idea over the past 6 weeks. Obviously my wife has been pretty unwell physically, and it's been very hard mentally as well, so you try and be strong for her while also trying to keep things ticking over, as I freelance so don't get any sick pay or any of that. Being busy has perhaps helped to not think about things too much, but with our age, we both appreciate that this may have been the last chance.

We're looking for a decent couples counsellor to go to, but haven't told anyone yet what's happened, and it feels very lonely at the minute. You random internet weirdos will do.

Just read this. I am sorry for your loss Mr. Wayne. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

 

[the golden visionary]

Been waking up a few times in the night recently thinking there's a spider on my head. Generally no idea where I am, and have often flipped myself round and am at the arse end of the bed. Which is, erm, interesting.

Im having ridiculously realistic dreams the last few nights. I wake up and im not sure whether im awake. Might have something to do with the below statement tho

Yes mate I've found these help. I would highly recommend meditating too if you've found this of benefit. I've also had psychadelic therapy but I reckon that's a bit much for this forum

To be honest the first thing i thought of was how great it would be to trip balls while being in there. Floating around full of mushrooms

Thatd be fantastic

 

[witchdoc187]

Im having ridiculously realistic dreams the last few nights. I wake up and im not sure whether im awake. Might have something to do with the below statement tho




To be honest the first thing i thought of was how great it would be to trip balls while being in there. Floating around full of mushrooms

Thatd be fantastic

I know people that book them out for 4 hours for that reason