Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Billy Dean]

I won't. But goin to bed now and still feel pretty bad. Sleep will help I guess.
But sometimes it's hard to be positive

Have you tried "getting back out there" so to speak mate? It's really hard finding out that an important ex has someone else. In my experience it often felt better to focus on what I was doing and look forward rather than look back and at what she was doing. Going out if you can and meeting new people is often a good thing.

 

[COYBL25]

Hey, how's everyone?

Just dropping in - last time I said I'm going to therapy and was shitting myself a bit about it - now feel great about doing it.

So in the month and a bit that I've been going weekly, in no order: stayed off the internet quite a lot and did real life stuff, have improved outlook, outgoingness (that's a word, I promise), creativity, enjoyment, shaved, bought new shirts and stuff and go to work proper work-dressed all the time like, applied and got accepted back to uni (chuffed with that, was a "life goal" if you will) and seem to be doing stuff and feeling much more appreciated overall, especially at work. Personal life (relationships and all that) aren't going great, but I'm not even sure I want that right now to be honest, so not too bothered. Going with any kind of flow that happens to happen really.

The feeling of dread/sadness still exists in me every so often like, it's not like I flipped the happy switch all of a sudden, but the prevalence is that of, just, confidence and enjoyment from the things I do, whatever they are, for the most part.

Now I'm not posting this to gloat or to make everyone feel worse about their situation somehow (I know, I've been there, I know what happened to me when I read people getting their lives in some kind of order... plus mine isn't exactly rosey, I just make it for myself) - it's to show that everyone can "snap out of it" through accepting that you need help and getting it.

Well in mate, made up you`re feeling so positive

 

[blue to the bone]

Have you tried "getting back out there" so to speak mate? It's really hard finding out that an important ex has someone else. In my experience it often felt better to focus on what I was doing and look forward rather than look back and at what she was doing. Going out if you can and meeting new people is often a good thing.

I have a bit in the last month or so.
I knew there was no goin back really but when you hear it it just hurts. Few days I guess will help.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Well in mate, made up you`re feeling so positive

Hah, as am I! I'm still half expecting it to go tits up at some point as it does, but not filled with the same dread about it.

We'll see, time will tell.

 

[Groucho]

Please do let the club know about this thread if you feel it’s helped you or someone you know.

 

[blue to the bone]

Please do let the club know about this thread if you feel it’s helped you or someone you know.

This is a brilliant idea

 

[mccole]

Aren't we just the best club going!?!

I love Everton in the Community

 

[blue to the bone]

Just something I wrote. As it felt good to do so.

Mental health is something that has really become a major issue in the last few years. People are now appreciating it's a major issue..
For me it is something that has really affected me in the last few years..
I am in recovery for gambling addiction for 5 years now and the scars of that are still there.
But it's in the last 12 months or so that I have really struggled. A break up of a relationship was the trigger point for me to start to really suffer. Last winter was a very hard time for me. I found it next to impossible to be happy. To find joy in anything. I hated been on my own. But I did not want to meet anyone. If I was in a public situation with people I did not know I was totally uncomfortable. On long dark winter nights I wanted to be on my own. But when I was on my own I wanted company. I had totally negative thoughts. I felt worthless. Like I didn't matter to anyone really. That bar my parents if I was not here no one would really miss me..
I eventually went to the doctor. I tried be as honest as I could. I got medication. I tired to be more social. It helped a bit.
But I still struggle.
On days that the sun shined bright in the sky it never shined for me.
The last few days have been difficult with news that my ex has found someone new has really hurt. I know I can't control it but I just don't have the mechanisms to deal with it.
Been on your own can be very difficult. People say go out and do things and meet people. And at times I do. But at times I find that very difficult too.
I lack confidence and sometimes find social settings difficult. I totally empathise with people who struggle. Self pity is a bad trait. But one that is hard to shake.
I think I have missed out on a lot of things in life that I will never now achieve. I look at others and get frustrated.
All I can do is try be more positive. And at times I do. But on the occasions where things go against me. I struggle.
So anyone in the same position it's normal to not be ok. Talk to people if possible. Especially to those who you love and that make you happy. Before it's too late.

 

[Jokerdan]

Blue TTB

Your strength - even if you don't know it - is your recognition that you are currently experiencing difficulties and that by reaching out to this forum you realise that you now need to take matters in hand and seek support. There are plenty of better qualified contributors who will give you pointers in this regard but as has always been said there is no need for anyone to suffer in silence and your first stop shop should be with your GP or local drop in centre.

There is no weakness in seeking help and by overcoming, or at least controlling, a previous addiction is evidence you have inner strength. As regards relationships we've all been there and whilst break ups are difficult especially if you are on the receiving end then take solace in the knowledge that there are countless thousands of others out there in similar situations and who are going through similar experiences. You are not unique in this regard so don't allow yourself to ruminate on what might have been and embrace your new found independence because something - or someone - better will eventually come along.

 

[COYBL25]

Just something I wrote. As it felt good to do so.

Mental health is something that has really become a major issue in the last few years. People are now appreciating it's a major issue..
For me it is something that has really affected me in the last few years..
I am in recovery for gambling addiction for 5 years now and the scars of that are still there.
But it's in the last 12 months or so that I have really struggled. A break up of a relationship was the trigger point for me to start to really suffer. Last winter was a very hard time for me. I found it next to impossible to be happy. To find joy in anything. I hated been on my own. But I did not want to meet anyone. If I was in a public situation with people I did not know I was totally uncomfortable. On long dark winter nights I wanted to be on my own. But when I was on my own I wanted company. I had totally negative thoughts. I felt worthless. Like I didn't matter to anyone really. That bar my parents if I was not here no one would really miss me..
I eventually went to the doctor. I tried be as honest as I could. I got medication. I tired to be more social. It helped a bit.
But I still struggle.
On days that the sun shined bright in the sky it never shined for me.
The last few days have been difficult with news that my ex has found someone new has really hurt. I know I can't control it but I just don't have the mechanisms to deal with it.
Been on your own can be very difficult. People say go out and do things and meet people. And at times I do. But at times I find that very difficult too.
I lack confidence and sometimes find social settings difficult. I totally empathise with people who struggle. Self pity is a bad trait. But one that is hard to shake.
I think I have missed out on a lot of things in life that I will never now achieve. I look at others and get frustrated.
All I can do is try be more positive. And at times I do. But on the occasions where things go against me. I struggle.
So anyone in the same position it's normal to not be ok. Talk to people if possible. Especially to those who you love and that make you happy. Before it's too late.

This may sound a bit leftfield mate, but have you considered getting a dog ?. ( If you haven`t got one already ).

A dog loves you unconditionally, no matter how crap you feel, needs walking everyday, so you have to drag your arse out of the house at least once a day and it`s almost impossible not to talk to people when you`re out with the dog.

A dog really can help with the first steps to getting yourself back on track. There`s quite a few on here who will testify to that ( me included ).

 

[blue to the bone]

This may sound a bit leftfield mate, but have you considered getting a dog ?. ( If you haven`t got one already ).

A dog loves you unconditionally, no matter how crap you feel, needs walking everyday, so you have to drag your arse out of the house at least once a day and it`s almost impossible not to talk to people when you`re out with the dog.

A dog really can help with the first steps to getting yourself back on track. There`s quite a few on here who will testify to that ( me included ).

I have one mate. You gave me that advice when I first posted. And she helps definitely. Things did improve. Last few days have been tough. But time helps too.
But this forum is incredible. That you can post and people listen and help.

 

[COYBL25]

I have one mate. You gave me that advice when I first posted. And she helps definitely. Things did improve. Last few days have been tough. But time helps too.
But this forum is incredible. That you can post and people listen and help.

It took me years to get over my shiz mate and posting on here has helped me no end.

No one judges you on here and someone will always get back to you

 

[blue to the bone]

It took me years to get over my shiz mate and posting on here has helped me no end.

No one judges you on here and someone will always get back to you

Appreciate it.
And there is always the transfer thread to whinge on too!

 

[AmericasToffee]

It definitely takes time. It seems like when we encounter these illnesses that it was quite a long time in the making so it takes patience to overcome. It will happen, though.

 

[Billy Dean]

Just something I wrote. As it felt good to do so.

Mental health is something that has really become a major issue in the last few years. People are now appreciating it's a major issue..
For me it is something that has really affected me in the last few years..
I am in recovery for gambling addiction for 5 years now and the scars of that are still there.
But it's in the last 12 months or so that I have really struggled. A break up of a relationship was the trigger point for me to start to really suffer. Last winter was a very hard time for me. I found it next to impossible to be happy. To find joy in anything. I hated been on my own. But I did not want to meet anyone. If I was in a public situation with people I did not know I was totally uncomfortable. On long dark winter nights I wanted to be on my own. But when I was on my own I wanted company. I had totally negative thoughts. I felt worthless. Like I didn't matter to anyone really. That bar my parents if I was not here no one would really miss me..
I eventually went to the doctor. I tried be as honest as I could. I got medication. I tired to be more social. It helped a bit.
But I still struggle.
On days that the sun shined bright in the sky it never shined for me.
The last few days have been difficult with news that my ex has found someone new has really hurt. I know I can't control it but I just don't have the mechanisms to deal with it.
Been on your own can be very difficult. People say go out and do things and meet people. And at times I do. But at times I find that very difficult too.
I lack confidence and sometimes find social settings difficult. I totally empathise with people who struggle. Self pity is a bad trait. But one that is hard to shake.
I think I have missed out on a lot of things in life that I will never now achieve. I look at others and get frustrated.
All I can do is try be more positive. And at times I do. But on the occasions where things go against me. I struggle.
So anyone in the same position it's normal to not be ok. Talk to people if possible. Especially to those who you love and that make you happy. Before it's too late.

Apparently, just the act of going out and being around people boosts the amount of dopamine your brain produces and that happens whether you want to be there or not. Since I was given that info I find it helps me go out and spend time with people even when I don't really feel like it. Sometimes I just go out with the sole goal of just being there and not necessarily to make any effort being nice, friendly or social or whatever. Just to sit there and let the dopamine flow And when I do that I always end up having a much better time than I thought I would.