Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Just something I wrote. As it felt good to do so.

Mental health is something that has really become a major issue in the last few years. People are now appreciating it's a major issue..
For me it is something that has really affected me in the last few years..
I am in recovery for gambling addiction for 5 years now and the scars of that are still there.
But it's in the last 12 months or so that I have really struggled. A break up of a relationship was the trigger point for me to start to really suffer. Last winter was a very hard time for me. I found it next to impossible to be happy. To find joy in anything. I hated been on my own. But I did not want to meet anyone. If I was in a public situation with people I did not know I was totally uncomfortable. On long dark winter nights I wanted to be on my own. But when I was on my own I wanted company. I had totally negative thoughts. I felt worthless. Like I didn't matter to anyone really. That bar my parents if I was not here no one would really miss me..
I eventually went to the doctor. I tried be as honest as I could. I got medication. I tired to be more social. It helped a bit.
But I still struggle.
On days that the sun shined bright in the sky it never shined for me.
The last few days have been difficult with news that my ex has found someone new has really hurt. I know I can't control it but I just don't have the mechanisms to deal with it.
Been on your own can be very difficult. People say go out and do things and meet people. And at times I do. But at times I find that very difficult too.
I lack confidence and sometimes find social settings difficult. I totally empathise with people who struggle. Self pity is a bad trait. But one that is hard to shake.
I think I have missed out on a lot of things in life that I will never now achieve. I look at others and get frustrated.
All I can do is try be more positive. And at times I do. But on the occasions where things go against me. I struggle.
So anyone in the same position it's normal to not be ok. Talk to people if possible. Especially to those who you love and that make you happy. Before it's too late.
Well written lad, I can only reply to you based on my experience, a few years ago I was in a bad place mentally ended up on anti depression medication and taking to a Psychologist feeling worthlessness, fear of death among other things. Maybe I'm wrong here but it sounds like your brain has just gone to autopilot, do you drive? If so have you ever gotten to a destination and realise that you don't remember anything of the journey? Sure sign that your brain is just getting you through the day and needs waking up, if you can relate to this then you need to start noticing things like trees, lamp posts, trees, bins etc, also if you have time now or tomorrow just go to your fridge a door anything physical and just put your hand on it and describe to yourself how it feels to touch is it cold or warm rough or smooth big or small, out loud if you want or quietly up to you. Just to get your brain observing things. Also I've said it before om here if you have Facebook, twitter or any social media that you may spend too much time on get rid of it, deleat it or at very least take a couple of weeks off, disaster for the mind, I got rid of mine on October 13th last year and couldn't be happier with my decision. Just my thoughts for what they are worth, best of luck.
 
Well written lad, I can only reply to you based on my experience, a few years ago I was in a bad place mentally ended up on anti depression medication and taking to a Psychologist feeling worthlessness, fear of death among other things. Maybe I'm wrong here but it sounds like your brain has just gone to autopilot, do you drive? If so have you ever gotten to a destination and realise that you don't remember anything of the journey? Sure sign that your brain is just getting you through the day and needs waking up, if you can relate to this then you need to start noticing things like trees, lamp posts, trees, bins etc, also if you have time now or tomorrow just go to your fridge a door anything physical and just put your hand on it and describe to yourself how it feels to touch is it cold or warm rough or smooth big or small, out loud if you want or quietly up to you. Just to get your brain observing things. Also I've said it before om here if you have Facebook, twitter or any social media that you may spend too much time on get rid of it, deleat it or at very least take a couple of weeks off, disaster for the mind, I got rid of mine on October 13th last year and couldn't be happier with my decision. Just my thoughts for what they are worth, best of luck.
Cheers Mate. Especially from a tipp man haha. Haven't been doing too bad but the last week has just knocked me a bit again. I have deleted Facebook. It's a sham. I like twitter for keeping up to date with sports and that. And it's sport that really keep me going
 
Ive always seen posts on this forum and never joined Im not quit sure why! But seeing this post and the love and affection people have is so heart warming and something we as a club should be very proud of.

I have suffered from panic attacks in my early days as a kid and continue to suffer from severe anxiety and depression but live a normal life to to the outside world. I wrote down the main contributors to this, its quite daunting putting this on paper now that I look at it, so I feel I have good experience in dealing with all of this stuff. If you ever need to talk I'm here for anyone.

- Father left (3 months old)
- Living with Mother with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with Gran with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with alcoholic grandfather
- Granny who we lived with died in front of me and my brother while mother in hospital
- Uncle we lived with left to go live in England
- Moved from aunt to uncle whilst mother was in Holywell mental hospital
- Mother died of Septicemia pretty much on our sofa in front of me at 38 years of age, I was 12
- In a long term relationship as a teen with an abusive girlfriend
- Brother left to go live in England, came back 2 years later
- Brother left to go live in America for 5 years
- Marriage broke down 2 years ago
- Brother died at age 40 in a freak fall

Im working full time, I have a daughter I see everyday and I coach for our local football team. I live a normal life but I get down and have my days where it all seems a bit to much like everyone.
 
Ive always seen posts on this forum and never joined Im not quit sure why! But seeing this post and the love and affection people have is so heart warming and something we as a club should be very proud of.

I have suffered from panic attacks in my early days as a kid and continue to suffer from severe anxiety and depression but live a normal life to to the outside world. I wrote down the main contributors to this, its quite daunting putting this on paper now that I look at it, so I feel I have good experience in dealing with all of this stuff. If you ever need to talk I'm here for anyone.

- Father left (3 months old)
- Living with Mother with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with Gran with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with alcoholic grandfather
- Granny who we lived with died in front of me and my brother while mother in hospital
- Uncle we lived with left to go live in England
- Moved from aunt to uncle whilst mother was in Holywell mental hospital
- Mother died of Septicemia pretty much on our sofa in front of me at 38 years of age, I was 12
- In a long term relationship as a teen with an abusive girlfriend
- Brother left to go live in England, came back 2 years later
- Brother left to go live in America for 5 years
- Marriage broke down 2 years ago
- Brother died at age 40 in a freak fall

Im working full time, I have a daughter I see everyday and I coach for our local football team. I live a normal life but I get down and have my days where it all seems a bit to much like everyone.
What a man
Credit to yourself mate
 
Ive always seen posts on this forum and never joined Im not quit sure why! But seeing this post and the love and affection people have is so heart warming and something we as a club should be very proud of.

I have suffered from panic attacks in my early days as a kid and continue to suffer from severe anxiety and depression but live a normal life to to the outside world. I wrote down the main contributors to this, its quite daunting putting this on paper now that I look at it, so I feel I have good experience in dealing with all of this stuff. If you ever need to talk I'm here for anyone.

- Father left (3 months old)
- Living with Mother with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with Gran with paranoid schizophrenia
- Living with alcoholic grandfather
- Granny who we lived with died in front of me and my brother while mother in hospital
- Uncle we lived with left to go live in England
- Moved from aunt to uncle whilst mother was in Holywell mental hospital
- Mother died of Septicemia pretty much on our sofa in front of me at 38 years of age, I was 12
- In a long term relationship as a teen with an abusive girlfriend
- Brother left to go live in England, came back 2 years later
- Brother left to go live in America for 5 years
- Marriage broke down 2 years ago
- Brother died at age 40 in a freak fall

Im working full time, I have a daughter I see everyday and I coach for our local football team. I live a normal life but I get down and have my days where it all seems a bit to much like everyone.

And you're still here which proves you have a purpose in life. You are not some kind of super human being and given everything you are entitled to have those days when it 'all seems a bit much'. As you have realised there are plenty of great people on this forum to whom you can come and vent your spleen if it helps but, as always - and this is to everyone who reads this - do not be afraid or consider yourself weak if you seek medical intervention through your GP or similar. I would also say do it sooner than later before your condition gets a grip as the quicker you address matters the sooner you will get on top of it before it gets on top of you.
 

This may sound a bit leftfield mate, but have you considered getting a dog ?. ( If you haven`t got one already ).

A dog loves you unconditionally, no matter how crap you feel, needs walking everyday, so you have to drag your arse out of the house at least once a day and it`s almost impossible not to talk to people when you`re out with the dog.

A dog really can help with the first steps to getting yourself back on track. There`s quite a few on here who will testify to that ( me included ).

Some decent advice there.

 
I've always been in awe of this thread and tried to offer support and kindness where I can. It is a truly amazing thing. I have been fortunate to never have suffered from any mental health issues, I'm fairly laid back (probably too much if the truth be known) and once had a brief feeling that I might be stressed that quickly passed. Yes I get angry/fed up/ annoyed but it passes with no lasting impact. Yesterday, in work, I witnessed somebody have a huge anxiety attack. I never ever realised how bad it can be. The trigger was something minor, she was not in trouble, but, in her words, she overthought a situation and catastrophised it to the point that she had herself out of a job and homeless on the streets with her four children. Her team leader reassured her, I sat with her in our Union Room and tried to help her rationalise that absolutely nothing was going to happen. It was a huge learning curve for me. I had not really thought about the impact such conditions have on a person. So keep talking to each other. You are all wonderful x
 
We're on the right track fellas. Proud of you all.

"New research illuminates how some men and boys who are contemplating suicide are finding emotional support in an unexpected place: Reddit.

Sometimes referred to as the "front page of the Internet," Reddit is a social news aggregation and discussion website that's especially popular among young adult males.

The website includes several topic-specific subreddit discussion forums, one of which is SuicideWatch. The regulated space allows people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts to post anonymously about what they are going through and receive emotional support from other users.

As of this month, SuicideWatch has more than 96,000 subscribers.

University of Arizona sociology doctoral student Darla Still has been analyzing the content of anonymous posts made to SuicideWatch to learn more about what individuals go through when contemplating suicide and how they express those thoughts and feelings to others.

Among her early findings, which she presented today at the American Sociological Association Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, is that the SuicideWatch subreddit may provide a unique source of gender-specific support for men and boys.

Although Reddit does not identify users by gender, Still focused on a subset of posts in which gender was implied by the posts' content. For example, users wrote things like "I am a joke of man," or referred to instances in which they've been told to "be a man" or "man up."

Responses to those posts often contained gendered language of their own, like, "Hey, bro, I've been through that before," or, "What's bothering you, man?"

Still suggests that the use of that type of gendered language is meaningful.

"It's about knowing that you're not the only one who's going through what you're going through, and being able to identify that you're not alone," she said. "We see this as a space where men may be a little more at ease to be vulnerable and express those emotions because of the screen and the anonymity."

Still decided to focus on posts by males because while females are twice as likely as males to attempt suicide, males are three times more likely to die by suicide.

Men also underreport mental health symptoms, and many scholars have theorized that men have more difficulty openly expressing emotions than women due to the ways in which they are socialized with masculine norms.

"If you think about stereotypical masculinity theories, men are socialized to believe that expressing emotions is weak," said Still, who presented her work with her collaborators Amelia Blume, a UA sociology doctoral student, and Charlene Hack, who earned her bachelor's degree in sociology from the UA in 2017.

"Our main goal was to bring attention to this issue and try to move away from the stigma that men, in particular, face," Still said.

Males who feel uncomfortable talking about their emotions with loved ones or mental health professionals - or those who are unable to do so - might find an alternative or supplemental option in posting anonymously online, Still said.

Still's initial findings were based on an analysis of 3,125 posts collected between mid-October 2017 and early January of this year.

Going forward, she will continue to analyze 165,000 posts and more than 1 million comments submitted to the SuicideWatch subreddit between 2009 and 2017. She hopes to gain a better understanding of what both men and women go through when contemplating suicide and how an online forum might offer support.

"We know that men underreport mental health symptoms, so this is giving us a better understanding of the suicidality experience of what men go through, and what's specific to men in comparison to women," Still said. "The fact that this space on Reddit is there - we don't know, but maybe it's helped somebody.""
 
I've always been in awe of this thread and tried to offer support and kindness where I can. It is a truly amazing thing. I have been fortunate to never have suffered from any mental health issues, I'm fairly laid back (probably too much if the truth be known) and once had a brief feeling that I might be stressed that quickly passed. Yes I get angry/fed up/ annoyed but it passes with no lasting impact. Yesterday, in work, I witnessed somebody have a huge anxiety attack. I never ever realised how bad it can be. The trigger was something minor, she was not in trouble, but, in her words, she overthought a situation and catastrophised it to the point that she had herself out of a job and homeless on the streets with her four children. Her team leader reassured her, I sat with her in our Union Room and tried to help her rationalise that absolutely nothing was going to happen. It was a huge learning curve for me. I had not really thought about the impact such conditions have on a person. So keep talking to each other. You are all wonderful x

Over thinking things has always been one of my biggest problems (although I have got better with it in the last 12 months). It can start with a fleeting thought and grow into something huge. It can happen over the course of hours or days. No matter how irrational it is you can't shut it off.

Having someone who is willing to listen and talk it through with you is usually the best thing I find.
 
Over thinking things has always been one of my biggest problems (although I have got better with it in the last 12 months). It can start with a fleeting thought and grow into something huge. It can happen over the course of hours or days. No matter how irrational it is you can't shut it off.

Having someone who is willing to listen and talk it through with you is usually the best thing I find.

A good listener is worth more than a thousand words. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chests, be able to express our feelings without the - and more often than not misconceived - fear of recrimination and to relieve the pressure building inside. By doing so it is possible to begin to work through what may initially seem insurmountable problems but what, when it boils down to it, are often mind tricks caused by our psyche which is focusing on the negatives overburdening our sense of perspective.

Ruminating over something which causes us concern is one of the main evils we face and one which, if we do not learn to recognise, can lead us down a dark path. That is why it is so important to speak out at the earliest opportunity and to discuss with a family member, friend, medical professional or even pick up the 'phone to the Samaritans (who make no judgement but are there simply to listen). Even a forum such as this with so many good people and, more importantly, people with similar experiences is an invaluable source of support and advice.

Keep in there, people - no one needs to suffer in silence. There is a light. We sometimes just need a little help to switch it back on.
 

I'm slowly losing my mind to a concoction of Aspergers' and OCD.

It wouldn't be such an issue if I didn't know it was happening, and that's what makes it so hard.

My GP keeps putting me on SSRIs, but it's doing nothing. I'm so jaded.

People confuse me, and I genuinely feel alien.

You need to go back to your GP mate and tell him exactly what you`ve said here.

It sounds like the one your taking, isn`t working / isn`t the right one for you.

SSRI`s can be very hit and miss mate and what works for others may not work for you and vice versa.
 
Ive extracted (as best I can) the interesting article below from today's Times regarding a Barnsley FC project for supporters with mental health problems. Hope its turned out ok for info of those who don't have a subscription. Our club's prior initiatives in this concern make you proud to be a Blue all over again....and perhaps act as a catalyst for other clubs to get involved. Bring it on...……and Im pretty sure this section of GOT is doing its bit too.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/...ing-fan-shows-the-power-of-football-r86m7cs6x

August 15 2018, 12:00pm, The Times
Touching letter to struggling fan shows the power of football
Paul Hirst
Sometimes it is easy to fall out of love with football. Tales of multimillionaire players throwing away their money; of clubs ripping off their fans; of players conning referees; or about corruption within the upper echelons of the game are enough to make even the most passionate football supporters become disenchanted with the game.
But every now and then, a heartwarming tale pops up that reminds us that football can be a force for good.
One such instance occurred yesterday when Barnsley supporter Chris Ryder posted a touching letter on Twitter that he had received from the club’s chief executive, Gauthier Ganaye.
Every few days, Ganaye and Barnsley’s head of press relations, Adam Lamping, sit down and trawl through social media looking for questions and complaints from fans. It is part of their attempt to maintain and improve the bond between the club and their fan base. They usually deal with questions about tickets or the availability of shirt sizes in the club shop, but once they happened upon Ryder’s tweets about his battle with depression, they realised they had a more serious matter on their hands. Ganaye knows others who have struggled with mental health problems, so he decided to get in touch with Ryder to see if he could help.


“I’ve noticed through social media you have had a bit of a hard time recently, I’m not sure what it is but I hope everything improves for you as soon as possible,” Ganaye wrote.
“You’ve been a fan of the club for many years and always supported us, so we want you to know that if the favour needs returning and we need to support you, please do let us know.”
Ganaye ended the letter with a joke about the money Barnsley had received from a sell-on clause from Alfie Mawson’s £20 million transfer from Swansea City to Fulham this summer.
“You are welcome to swing by anytime. My office door is always open and we’ve finally got a new coffee machine, a huge thanks to Alfie Mawson to that,” he said.
“Keep supporting the Reds, Chris. We’ll keep supporting you.”
It was a simple yet touching gesture, one that has no doubt helped Ryder deal with the problems he is facing.
“We just wanted to say: look, you are not the only one who is suffering, you are very brave in what you are doing and we want to help you,” Ganaye said.


“Football is huge in people’s lives. I guess Barnsley Football Club is playing a big part in Chris’s life. Football can be crazy sometimes so what we like to do at Barnsley is from time to time sit back and take a minute and see what you can do for the people in the community because the football club is a big part of their lives so making them feel special is important.”

As of 11am this morning, Ryder’s post, entitled ‘Best football club in the world’ had been liked by 120,000 people. Barnsley’s press office has been inundated with requests for interviews with the chief executive, who joined the club last May.

“I think this is a perfect example of the power of football,” Ganaye said.

“By Chris taking it to social media he has probably helped thousands of people. It’s amazing. I hope we have helped lots of people.

“I am very happy that we have raised awareness around mental health. Usually it’s a topic that people don’t really want to talk about, so it’s amazing that we managed to do that.”

Barnsley are not the only club who go out of their way to help fans, of course, but their actions deserve praise. As Ganaye points out, mental health is still something of a taboo in football, particularly in the men’s game. For some reason, admitting to struggles with anxiety or depression is seen as a sign of
weakness in many people’s eyes. Mind, the mental health charity, believes that one in every four people in the country suffer from mental health issues. With millions of fans attending matches up and down the country each week, football should be doing everything it can to help.


The EFL have made a good start. They have appointed Mind as their charity partner for the season. Their squiggle motif is joined to the first letter of every player’s name on the back of their shirts across the Sky Bet Championship, League One and League Two this season. In doing so, Mind is hoping to create awareness, raise money and change perceptions of mental health problems. They are doing a good job, but more can be done, and initiatives like clubs reaching out to fans through letters and social media will only help.

Ryder is yet to respond to Ganaye’s letter, but the Barnsley executive is hoping to meet him soon.

“He hasn’t been in touch with me directly but as I said in the letter my door is open and I would be really glad if he popped in for a coffee,” Ganaye said.

“I don’t want to put too much pressure on him but my door is open and I really mean it. We want the fans to be close to the football club. It’s got to be in two directions. It’s not just what can the fans can do for us. It’s what can we do to help them.”
 
Ive extracted (as best I can) the interesting article below from today's Times regarding a Barnsley FC project for supporters with mental health problems. Hope its turned out ok for info of those who don't have a subscription. Our club's prior initiatives in this concern make you proud to be a Blue all over again....and perhaps act as a catalyst for other clubs to get involved. Bring it on...……and Im pretty sure this section of GOT is doing its bit too.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/...ing-fan-shows-the-power-of-football-r86m7cs6x

August 15 2018, 12:00pm, The Times
Touching letter to struggling fan shows the power of football
Paul Hirst
Sometimes it is easy to fall out of love with football. Tales of multimillionaire players throwing away their money; of clubs ripping off their fans; of players conning referees; or about corruption within the upper echelons of the game are enough to make even the most passionate football supporters become disenchanted with the game.
But every now and then, a heartwarming tale pops up that reminds us that football can be a force for good.
One such instance occurred yesterday when Barnsley supporter Chris Ryder posted a touching letter on Twitter that he had received from the club’s chief executive, Gauthier Ganaye.
Every few days, Ganaye and Barnsley’s head of press relations, Adam Lamping, sit down and trawl through social media looking for questions and complaints from fans. It is part of their attempt to maintain and improve the bond between the club and their fan base. They usually deal with questions about tickets or the availability of shirt sizes in the club shop, but once they happened upon Ryder’s tweets about his battle with depression, they realised they had a more serious matter on their hands. Ganaye knows others who have struggled with mental health problems, so he decided to get in touch with Ryder to see if he could help.


“I’ve noticed through social media you have had a bit of a hard time recently, I’m not sure what it is but I hope everything improves for you as soon as possible,” Ganaye wrote.
“You’ve been a fan of the club for many years and always supported us, so we want you to know that if the favour needs returning and we need to support you, please do let us know.”
Ganaye ended the letter with a joke about the money Barnsley had received from a sell-on clause from Alfie Mawson’s £20 million transfer from Swansea City to Fulham this summer.
“You are welcome to swing by anytime. My office door is always open and we’ve finally got a new coffee machine, a huge thanks to Alfie Mawson to that,” he said.
“Keep supporting the Reds, Chris. We’ll keep supporting you.”
It was a simple yet touching gesture, one that has no doubt helped Ryder deal with the problems he is facing.
“We just wanted to say: look, you are not the only one who is suffering, you are very brave in what you are doing and we want to help you,” Ganaye said.


“Football is huge in people’s lives. I guess Barnsley Football Club is playing a big part in Chris’s life. Football can be crazy sometimes so what we like to do at Barnsley is from time to time sit back and take a minute and see what you can do for the people in the community because the football club is a big part of their lives so making them feel special is important.”

As of 11am this morning, Ryder’s post, entitled ‘Best football club in the world’ had been liked by 120,000 people. Barnsley’s press office has been inundated with requests for interviews with the chief executive, who joined the club last May.

“I think this is a perfect example of the power of football,” Ganaye said.

“By Chris taking it to social media he has probably helped thousands of people. It’s amazing. I hope we have helped lots of people.

“I am very happy that we have raised awareness around mental health. Usually it’s a topic that people don’t really want to talk about, so it’s amazing that we managed to do that.”

Barnsley are not the only club who go out of their way to help fans, of course, but their actions deserve praise. As Ganaye points out, mental health is still something of a taboo in football, particularly in the men’s game. For some reason, admitting to struggles with anxiety or depression is seen as a sign of
weakness in many people’s eyes. Mind, the mental health charity, believes that one in every four people in the country suffer from mental health issues. With millions of fans attending matches up and down the country each week, football should be doing everything it can to help.


The EFL have made a good start. They have appointed Mind as their charity partner for the season. Their squiggle motif is joined to the first letter of every player’s name on the back of their shirts across the Sky Bet Championship, League One and League Two this season. In doing so, Mind is hoping to create awareness, raise money and change perceptions of mental health problems. They are doing a good job, but more can be done, and initiatives like clubs reaching out to fans through letters and social media will only help.

Ryder is yet to respond to Ganaye’s letter, but the Barnsley executive is hoping to meet him soon.

“He hasn’t been in touch with me directly but as I said in the letter my door is open and I would be really glad if he popped in for a coffee,” Ganaye said.

“I don’t want to put too much pressure on him but my door is open and I really mean it. We want the fans to be close to the football club. It’s got to be in two directions. It’s not just what can the fans can do for us. It’s what can we do to help them.”

What a fantastic story.

The Chief Exec sounds like an absolute top fella.

Nice one mate, thanks for posting it.
 
Get in contact with Talk Liverpool mate they do online, group or individual counseling.

https://www.talkliverpool.nhs.uk

Just bumping this (for Liverpool, if you live outside Liverpool PM me)

Depression, Anxiety, OCD, PTSD, Health Anxiety, Social Phobia, Other Phobias

Much improved service in recent times, access through your GP or self refer through the website above

For other issues, including crisis, there is plenty of help out there. You are not alone.
 

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