I'm hoping the FDR will do the trick, but boy, it's been a shitty journey to get there.
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
mccole
Player Valuation: £35m
Well Done speaking to the Samaritans.
It always helps to air out your brain sometimes to a friend, family or professionals.
I stopped before that point and settled. It just wasn't worth any more money and hurt.
I can certainly understand why you did that.
Not prying or fishing for info, hope things have moved forwards and you are in sight of resolve if it hasn't occurred already.
coollino
Player Valuation: £80m
You may remember my friend, who I have mentioned previously, who was more than on the way to alcohol addiction. There have been various unsurprising reasons why this happened, including domestic abuse
She has 'resigned' now after being very drunk in work recently, I think it's the third time she has been 'caught' now and I have been involved in a fair bit of it, and they have been pretty good with her but it might help her in the long run, we'll see
The last time I saw her at work, she look so frail I have to go to the toilet after a bit to compose myself a little bit. Her eyes were yellow, hair falling out etc. she was so healthy before all of this. My manager and the head of HR met her the other day, after she left work and they it was horrendous and she could hardly put a sentence together because of how weak and confused she looked. They look so white when they were talking to me, they were really shaken. He rang her today and couldn't get a sentence.
She lives quite far away from me, and I don't know her current address as she moved out very recently. I text her and I get very AI texts back and they sound nothing like her at all, she said she'd arrange to meet when she is better but that won't happen for a long time. Me and a few others are genuinely worried she won't be alive in 6 months
Is there anything you can do medically without asking her permission, if that makes sense. As in a home visit by a charity (if we can find her address)? I don't really know how it works
She has 'resigned' now after being very drunk in work recently, I think it's the third time she has been 'caught' now and I have been involved in a fair bit of it, and they have been pretty good with her but it might help her in the long run, we'll see
The last time I saw her at work, she look so frail I have to go to the toilet after a bit to compose myself a little bit. Her eyes were yellow, hair falling out etc. she was so healthy before all of this. My manager and the head of HR met her the other day, after she left work and they it was horrendous and she could hardly put a sentence together because of how weak and confused she looked. They look so white when they were talking to me, they were really shaken. He rang her today and couldn't get a sentence.
She lives quite far away from me, and I don't know her current address as she moved out very recently. I text her and I get very AI texts back and they sound nothing like her at all, she said she'd arrange to meet when she is better but that won't happen for a long time. Me and a few others are genuinely worried she won't be alive in 6 months
Is there anything you can do medically without asking her permission, if that makes sense. As in a home visit by a charity (if we can find her address)? I don't really know how it works
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
My uncle was an alcoholic. We referred him to a alcohol dependency clinic ; he didn't know, but we eventually persuaded him to go. We weren't very hopeful, but he's now over 20 years' abstinent, and was really, at the end, a raging drunk. The amount of bottles we had to throw out of his house was something else.
For the life of me I can't remember the clinic's name. I don't know where you are, but this is very similar to where he went. Totally free, and I would imagine there are similar places around the country. The major problem, as you can well imagine, is getting somebody to make that first step, and that's not easy.
Home - Wirral Ways
www.wirralways.org.uk
When there is a risk of harm, there are mental health teams that can engage and support a person. You are UK right?
This must be an awful position for you to be in mate, watching someone you care about spiral to such a low place is gut wrenching. You say your manager and head of HR have already visited her and seen how bad things are first hand? They're in roles where they understand safeguarding duties and signposting to support etc so they'll likely have flagged it to the right services already (or at least they should have).
That doesn't make it any easier for you though. As helpless as it feels right now, sometimes the hardest part is accepting that no matter how much we care, the person we care about has to want help themselves too.
Protect your own headspace too. You're clearly a good friend who's done everything you could. Wishing her (and you) the strength to get through this. Take care.
This is no act of judgement. They've canned her.
There was another option.
It shouldn't be down to the soldiers in the trenches to look out for fellow soldiers.
A few phone calls after the fact and she's clearly deteriorated. A domestic abuse victim?
Needed referring to well being team and mental health months if not years ago. They closed their eyes and hoped it'd get better and they wouldn't have to do unpaid work safeguarding.
$hite!
I've a pal on this atm. If it's UK there's a line to follow.
I hear you. 100% accept that what you're saying might be applicable, but we don't know all the facts. We can't solve the world's problems on a football forum, but we can try to offer friendship and guidance.
3 years at least.
They've covered their quota for caring requirement. Managed her out of the door.
A pox, and then another.
Alcoholics Anonymous should be able to point you in the right direction for support services mate ?
I should imagine that this isn`t an uncommon situation, where the person needing the help, isn`t really in a position to ask for it, so it`s down to others to seek that help for them.
I`ve known a few people with drink problems over the years, from a couple of fellas I worked with, who couldn`t get through the day without having a drink, to the lads in the pub who just slide deeper and deeper into drink, like your work colleague.
The only way you could get a medical intervention without asking her permission, is by getting her " sectioned " under the Mental Health Act, which as you can imagine isn`t an easy thing to do, as she would have to present a clear and immediate risk to herself ( suicide ) or to others ( violence ).
Sadly, being an alcoholic, who is drinking yourself to death and completely neglecting your health and self care in the process, isn`t grounds for any type of " forcible " medical intervention.
Do you know if she has any family / relatives that you can get hold of, as I`d say they need to know ( if they don`t already ).
If you know where she lives, there may be some kind of local charity group, that deals with drink / drug related issues, that may be able to reach out to her too ?
No there is nothing 6ou can do - IF she has capacity. Her i2n choices 2ill be paramount. Support support support. Tell her you love her and support.
This is a very very personal post for me. I'm a recovering alcoholic, havnt had a drink in 8 years. My dad also died of cirrhosis. He was yellow when he died. I've worked professionally with many many alcoholics. Think of how bad it is for people going through this and then multiply it. I was very angry with my dad, still am. He deprived my children of a grandfather. I didn't go to his funeral, I was crest fallen. I put him on a pedestal and suffice to say loved him then and still do. I judged him, out of anger.
Be there for her whenever possible and gently explain in a non judgment way people love her and want the best for her. She will understand. God bless, and do your best for her, that's all you can do. I will close by saying medically, our bodies are remarkably resilient and the liver has remarkable regenerative properties. It MAY be that she can make a recovery in some format. Alcoholics anonymous and MIND give some fantastic easy to understand practical advise. I will post a link for you shortly bud.
Take care
Both are very good informative websites. With regards MIND, just search " addiction "
We're Mind, the mental health charity
We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.
www.mind.org.uk
Home
At AA, Alcoholics Anonymous members help each other to stop drinking. If you think you need help with your drinking problem get in touch.
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