My mental health has been worsening the last few weeks. Struggling with work, not enjoying life generally, and my first child is due in January which makes this a bad time for an episode of depression.
Feeling a lot of guilt because I really can’t be bothered with life yet I’ve got a child on the way. I’m just a dark cloud over my partner’s life atm, she should be excited and enjoying this time, not worrying because I’m unwell.
How are you feeling now, mate?
Just to chip in with something i wish I'd been told, and mates say the same: along with innate positive feelings you'll likely have with a new baby, it's perfectly fine to not enjoy it, question life choices, be bored, feel strain on yourself and your relationship. We're bombarded with narratives of perfect fathers and how much they like raising kids, and some of that may actually be true, but the unspoken stuff is that it's perfectly fine and normal to feel negative emotions about raising kids while at the same time being a good, attentive, supportive dad.
I never liked kids and never wanted kids. Due to my Mrs being an ultra persuasive super-genius ("let's have lots of sex!") I now have two. I think I'm a decentish dad and the kids are happy but I can honestly say 7 years after having first kid that I love my kids, they're my priority in life, but I don't particularly like kids.
Good luck - hope you love it. If not, just know we're not robots and negative feelings are normal. Look after y'sen, m8.
