People keep trying to shove all these stats, figures, and spreadsheets down our throats—wages, transfer fees, and every other metric under the sun—just to compare us with other teams.
They’re desperate to prove that Everton is exactly where we belong, or that we're somehow 'overachieving.'
It’s all just an excuse to back their favourite manager, or to mask their own relegation PTSD because they're too terrified of the club actually taking a gamble and showing some ambition.
Since when did football become about graphs on a laptop screen?
It’s as mind-numbing as those virgins arguing over who's better based purely on G/A (goals and assists)—even when they're talking about bloody centre-backs!
All these clueless stats used to judge whether a player had a good game or not are a joke. Take
Tarkowski, for example. His numbers always look brilliant on paper, but half the time it completely contradicts what you're actually watching with your own eyes on matchday.
That’s because these stats only measure what happens on the ball, but football is so much bigger than that. Look at heatmaps showing how much grass a player covered and where. Running your socks off doesn’t automatically mean you’ve played well—you could just be running around like a headless chicken, driving your teammates mad.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder if these spreadsheet merchants even know how to watch a proper game of football. They've got nothing real to say, so they just hide behind data. Maybe that's a bit harsh, but bloody hell.
If football could be decided on a piece of paper or just by looking at a team sheet, what's the point of playing the match? Why do we bother turning up week in, week out? Why do we even bother getting our hopes up if the numbers have already decided the result before a ball is even kicked?
