2022/23 Alex Iwobi

Spadge Vernacular

Player Valuation: £40m
His tenacity and vision since his awakening brings images of genius minds such as Einstein and Hawking, and warriors such as the Black Panther and Big Trev from 'the Bottle' to mind. He has to be one of if not the first name on the sheet, now.


Player Valuation: £10m
Like he was playing a different sport to everyone else. Miles ahead of everyone else on the pitch. Brilliant footballer now, looking like a 40 million player good enough for Arsenals side.

Lampard is honestly incredible.


Player Valuation: £20m
I’ve always believed in him, even when it looked especially grim, as my post history will show, so I’m made up to see him coming good now. He seems a great lad as well.

I really think he could need a top drawer player as he has lots of the attributes needed to be right at the top of the game.

I’m a big fan tbh.


Player Valuation: £35m
Amazing how people are pleased with his improvement from total shyte to bang average.
I kin hate him still but he's been by far our best player in two games so far. If he was surrounded by actual football players he'd probably look even better, too. I think he's had an attitude adjustment and he's all the better for it.

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