QPR v Everton Preview

Goodbye Thursday togger then.

Not sure how much it will be missed by you but it’s a bit post holiday blues for me as it’s something different isn’t it? Especially as – continuing on the holiday blues theme – Everton was the lad on two weeks of 18-30 who didn’t get their end away, despite some solid networking and the odd neck here and there.

Now we’re back to work on the Monday, and it pains a little.

Are Dynamo Kiev really that much better though? Or did we just do our usual shithouse rabbit in the headlights trick? Would Dynamo Kiev finish top five in the Premier League?

Why am I asking so many questions?

It wasn’t so much a tough tie with us just losing out. There may have been only a two-goal difference but it was an absolute mullering as wave upon wave of Kiev attack left us looking as vulnerable as a southern student on the last night bus home.

It’s down to somewhat less exotic surroundings of Shepherds Bush this weekend as we saunter towards the end of a really pissy season with what some are regarding as a super relegation showdown with Queens Park Rangers. It’s not quite that bad but then there’s not much appetite for the game amongst many of you.

Dull Everton, dull dull dull.

QPR are having themselves a horrid season where they’re second bottom and looking very much like they’re heading down where they dwell for so long. But I suppose there’s some excitement in that of winning games and stuff when they do eventually come up, whereas Everton are holding their breath to see if we can see Phil’s shadow. That’s half full; the alternative viewpoint contains something about being comfortably numb.

On saying that, we’ve won just one more game than them in the league this season.

There was a point of time in the bedsit where Jack looked at all four walls and contemplated the bad choices he had made in his twenties.

QPR are managed by Chris Ramsey who I think is their Jimmy Gabriel moment and since he’s replaced old tremor face the results still haven’t kickstarted QPR to what they want. Or what they need to remain in the Premier League, with them winning just once in three months.

It’s pleasingly therapeutic to be talking about someone who is even shitter than us but it does highlight the paucity of opprtunity in the Premier League as it’s not as if QPR haven’t spent serious money tmerely to exist in the top league under their owner, who understandably has had bigger concerns in his other business this winter where they are trailing Malaysia Air 2-1 in their tie for the “Asian Airline I Wouldn’t Fly With Cup”.

Main threats are Charlie Austin who is the type of goal bothering striker who will remain at the top table of English footie when QPR do slip down but won’t turn out as good as the fee someone desperate pays for him.

Captain in one of our own in Joseph Barton who is returning from a three game ban but allegedly has injured himself in the process so is a doubt. Joey is one of the few players in the league that I believe is as comfortable in the Taxi Club as he is on a Premier League pitch, some doing that.

Rio Ferdinand is an utter whopper though, he’d be blocking the doorway as you walk in so he has the best view of the telly and wouldn’t move despite people awkwardly trying to step around him. Quilted coat and too much aftershave. He’s also another fitness doubt.

And in just mentioning three players , a caretaker manager and their owner I have previewed QPR.

Special mention for their fans who are alright, if not with elements of charity shop menacing. Shame they’re going down, they’re not too cringey which instantly puts them above 95% of the other texans we have to endure across the course of the season.

So, on that bombshell, it’s time to chat abar Everton. Which is akin to having a proposed conversation with your six month old relationship bird about leaving logs in the downstairs toilets. For both of our futures it has to happen, and it has to improve. We’re out of our comfort zone Everton and us, and it’s not nice.

Lots of chatter understandably about the suitability of Martinez after the latest setback. There’s no wrong or right on the matter it just depends on your point of view. Take a step back and using practicality as your guiding force then if at any point someone better became available to manage Everton then you’d be foolish not to take it. Not that it’s that simple. There’s mitigating factors in everything and then analysis and prudent forecast for the future. Maybe in work you’ve been tasked with a SWOT analysis, that sort of thing really, there’s a tendency to over think things too much.

In the absence of a crystal ball I can’t enlighten anyone who engages me in the topic. I’m not sure what the answer is. I seen enough last season to make me think there’s something worth preserving with there but then I see the same persistent decisions taken which hinder our performance, followed by then speaking to the media ahead of the game about “nine cup finals” and stuff. It’s all a bit un-Everton to chat like this and you know what, maybe we’re the problem as we’re a peculiar bunch. Hinging on paranoia but we seldom suffer dickheads, and at the moment there’s too many dickheads running the team and playing in it.

Whoever can sort that out is the person who should be managing Everton. Sometimes it’s as simple as that. Whoever that person may be, show your cojones.

Lukaku is a rare high point of a disastrous middle of season period. Again, ace goal. The problem is that there’s no one to help him out with the responsibility of goals or workload up front as effectively as we need.

Barkley showed character in that second leg – more of than please Ross – and again it needs to be used as a springboard for what is left of the carcass of our season. Lennon will be eligible for this game and will hope to add to his best outing yet last time out against Newcastle.

I would say it’s almost guaranteed that Gibson will he back for the middle of the park and with the four players involved there it should be a lot to play for between now and the end of the season as changes need to be made in that position so an Everton team can take charge of games again.

Alcaraz has took an absolute kicking but he’s a squad centre half who should not be risked for high pressure games unless there’s absolutely no alternative. That’s not his fault, but it will be nice to see Stones back.

it’s a very Everton thing to go from having some of the best full back options in the league to them being reduced to anxiety ridden rubble the following season without justifiable reason. We desperately need options in these areas. As we need options in goal, did you see the Kiev keeper make some crucial saves? Nice that, I’d like some of the same.

I alluded to asking too many questions early on in the preview but that’s because Everton are asking so, so many questions of themselves rather than the opposition right now.

It would be nice to have someone to have the answers, or at least some of them.

A few spirited close wins won’t paper over what is left, neither will well chosen words. There’s little reason with the talent in the squad to be in this position. I wasn’t of the belief that we could win the Europa League as all evidence proved against it but 21 years between Everton trophies is nothing short of a disaster so again – words alone cannot and should not placate.

We’re not that important, certainly as some of us think. It’s big Premier League business and without sounding too much like a SAVE R FOOTIE ted there’s a whole load of lids lining up to buy into the Premier League “brand”. So we’re left with two choices: be arsed or not arsed.

Choose wisely.

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