Owen

[davek]

And good looking

Cool, charismatic and good looking.....yeah, of course you are Michael...........

 

[Gerard_Francis]

The Daily Mail have got their hands on the Brochure to buy Michael Owen and give us a look at it:

Michael Owen: The gissa job dossier - 32 glossy pages of past glories, hard sell - and, of course, 'brand values' | Mail Online

Good link mate.

Hamstrings:
Obviously the main part of his game is speed and acceleration over 10 - 30m, just the sort of explosive area where sprinters pull up. The older he gets the more he’s at risk, 30 this year? His track record of hamstring injuries makes him even more prone to tears.

I suppose they could lower the risk with specialist pre-pre match warm up's but on the financial front it would be worth having a 2 tier wage structure agreed: Contract salary when available for selection and a much reduced salary following repeats of historical type injuries. Don’t suppose he’d be too keen

 

[Nebbiolo]

Cool, charismatic and good looking.....yeah, of course you are Michael...........

lol He cuts a dashing figure, doesn't he?

 

[TyphooToffee]

Love the branding exercise.

A few more adjectives: Greedy; unfaithful; slow; unprolific; disinterested; dopey and BORING.

Where do that get charismatic from? His speaking voice makes Kimi Raikonnen sound like Richard Burton! :huh:

 

[Azzbot]

You gimp Owen.

 

[Blue Wiz]

I don't want him here, but IF he signs I definately hope he gets a small weekly wage with a bonus if he plays and the team wins. I DON'T want him having a bonus for each goal he does, since I fear that will make him hog the ball and shoot when he should pass instead.

 

[ohevertonohweloveverton]

I'd still love him at us, he's defo been in talks.

 

[Goat]

I would have him, but only if we got rid of Saha. No point in having 2 injury prone has beens in the squad.

 

[Number_25]

Might aswell give it a go

 

[Nebbiolo]

Saha is better, but if he goes, Owen might be worth a punt. But at a sensible wage. I'd say £35k a week is about right. I would only have him on a 3 year contract too.

Would he take that? Absolutely not.

 

[Neiler]

Surely we wont need any of them when we sign Tevez.

 

[davek]

I doubt we'd be able to afford his helicopter fuel from Flint to Walton, tbh. Besides, it could start a parity war amongst all the other players. The sun would be blotted out from the sky with helicopters taking Everton youth team players to their Ma's houses in Tuebrook and Wavertree.

 

[jon_efc]

the full brochure is actually here

MICHAEL OWEN BROCHURE: The complete 32-page agents' dossier on the fallen Newcastle star and former England striker | Mail Online

this is the full 32 pages spread

 

[Dom1878]

We should get him...tbf the brochure isnt that bad, you would have thought they would have put a page where he speaks for himself though at the end...

 

[davek]

We should get him...tbf the brochure isnt that bad, you would have thought they would have put a page where he speaks for himself though at the end...

"Hello. I'm little Michael Owen. Did you realise how good looking and charismatic I am? Oh aye yeah. I'm a bit of a mini-me James Bond on the sly. I ride in helicopters and stuff. And I'm dead fit now. My physio, orthopaedic surgeon, optician, dentist and chiropdist all reckon I'm A1. Please employ me. Be the first to say you helped put a dent in that 2.3M unemployment rate. Cheers."

:blink: