Jokes Thread

[Ashtonian]

A man walks into a doctors.

Doctor says, how have you been?

Man says great!

Doctor says get out then!

 

[larbert toffee]

A man walks into a doctors.

Doctor says, how have you been?

Man says great!

Doctor says get out then!

Have you been at the sherry Ash?

 

[The T-Dex]

A man walks into a doctors.

Doctor says, how have you been?

Man says great!

Doctor says get out then!

Are your Christmas crackers from netto?

That's bad.

 

[Paul w]

Santa goes the doctor and says doctor I have a mince pie stuck up me bum,the doc says bend over and let's have a look then,yep he say you certainly have,but your in luck I've got some cream for that.

 

[summerisle]

Santa goes the doctor and says doctor I have a mince pie stuck up me bum,the doc says bend over and let's have a look then,yep he say you certainly have,but your in luck I've got some cream for that.

Forshame ; you watched the Vicar of Dibley, as did I. Hope you feel as penitent as myself.

 

[AlE]

What do you call a bloke with a tiny knob? Justin.

 

[Paul w]

Forshame ; you watched the Vicar of Dibley, as did I. Hope you feel as penitent as myself.

No wouldnt watch such drivel,my wife told me it.

 

[summerisle]

No wouldnt watch such drivel,my wife told me it.

She obviously did then.

 

[Paul w]

Oh ye she loves it.

 

[Paul w]

I will always remember what my old grandad said before he kick the the bucket,he said....... Watch how far I can kick this bucket. You can thank Bradley Walsh for that.

 

[AlE]

Why did the baker wash his hands? Because he kneaded a poo

 

[Paul w]

Two cows in a field one says to the other bad news this mad cow disease inint the other says not arsed mate I'm a dog.

 

[kev]

Well it made me laugh lol

 

[larbert toffee]

Two cows in a field one says to the other bad news this mad cow disease inint the other says not arsed mate I'm a dog.

 

[Ring master]

Just seen this one,and thought this was decent lol

A binman knocks on a Chinese mans door, Chinese man answers "harro wot u wan?" bin man shouts "wheres ya bin?" "I bin on loo" he replies "no mate wheres ya dust bin?" chinese man replies "I dust bin 2 the loo" "no mate wheres your wheelie bin?" he replies "hokay I wheelie bin havin a wank"