Jokes Thread

[goldfinchmule]

My four year old grandson can't say please in spanish..thats poor for four. courtesy of Mick Miller.

 

[Joey66]

A truck driver is starving and stops at a biker bar. He orders a beer and some food. Right after he’s served, a biker gang enters the bar, eager for a fight. One walks up to the trucker, and slaps his hat off. The trucker takes a sip of beer. Another biker swats his food off the table. The trucker takes another sip of beer. So a third biker grabs the beer and pours it over the trucker’s head. The trucker gets up, pays the bill, and leaves. The biker leader says, 'That trucker sure wasn’t much of a fighter.' The bartender says, 'He’s not much of a driver either. He just drove over all your bikes!'​

 

[Bishop Thumpety-Thump]

The inventor of predictive text has died, his funfair is on monkey .

May he roast tin peas.

 

[Cels]

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[Cels]

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[Milk]

Teacher: "OK class, what was Robin Hoods girlfriends name?"
Jimmy: "It was Trudy Glen, miss"
Teacher: "No, Jimmy, it was Maid Marion"
Jimmy: " But miss, what about the song, Robin Hood Robin Hood riding Trudy Glen"

 

[Andyramone]

What do you a deer without any eyes?
No eye deer.

@Bryan 's sex life is a non offensive joke.

Non offensive because it's pg rated.

 

[goldfinchmule]

What do you call a bloke with a rabbit hanging out of his arse?

 

[Kurt.]

What do you call a bloke with a rabbit hanging out of his arse?

Bungle

 

[goldfinchmule]

Bungle

Warren.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

Doe!

 

[Milk]

I phoned the vet because my dog had a high temperature.

He prescribed mustard …….






… best thing for a hot dog

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

I phoned the vet because my dog had a high temperature.

He prescribed mustard …….






… best thing for a hot dog

Nice one, Kurt.

 

[Blue 1]

Q: How do you make a plumber cry?


A: Kill his family.

 

[Rita_Poon]

this heat aint working out, it aint workin out at all.