If I was prime minister I would…..

[Tommy Chong]

Try and purchase Greenland from Denmark… You know, for ‘strategic purposes’ or whatever.

And then not shut up about it when everyone tells me that I look like a clown for carrying on about it.

 

[magicjuan]

Fwee Bwian, Bawabas and Woderwick the Wobber

 

[chrismpw]

@chrismpw

shots

fired.

Straws are for children .... and growing up with a paper straw collapsing when it gets limp and you stuck teaches physics and gets met, at least, ready for prostate trouble later in life.

I'd ring fence all car tax and police road fines for road maintenance.

I'd boot Sky out of the country and say sorry, footballers, your wages are now capped at the same rate as surgeons - who we need more.

All traffic lights will have sensors on them so they do not stop cars if there's nothing on other roads.

Unless the purchaser can show genuine need, eg - a vet or builder, all SUVs and flat bed US style trucks will be taxed at £5k a year.

Adverts will be banned, other than discrete static non illuminated ones.

Beer lager and cider will be £1 a pint. Any pub drink that's two drinks (women's drinks nearly always have an "and" in them) then the non-alcoholic "and" will be an extra 10p. It will be illegal to order hot chocolate or fancy coffee in a pub, occupying the bar man's time.

It will ve illegal to put any fruit, other than tomato or olives, on Pizza. We all know the one.

@chicoazul will be the BBC news anchor.

 

[Blue 1]

...not stick my knob in a dead pig's head.

 

[cronullasharks]

...not stick my knob in a dead pig's head.

Why? That's a vote winner right there

 

[Kurt.]

Make Tarkowski a protected species

 

[Kurt.]

And pass a law that the Royal Family should be protected forever from scrutiny

 

[kev]

Straws are for children .... and growing up with a paper straw collapsing when it gets limp and you stuck teaches physics and gets met, at least, ready for prostate trouble later in life.

I'd ring fence all car tax and police road fines for road maintenance.

I'd boot Sky out of the country and say sorry, footballers, your wages are now capped at the same rate as surgeons - who we need more.

All traffic lights will have sensors on them so they do not stop cars if there's nothing on other roads.

Unless the purchaser can show genuine need, eg - a vet or builder, all SUVs and flat bed US style trucks will be taxed at £5k a year.

Adverts will be banned, other than discrete static non illuminated ones.

Beer lager and cider will be £1 a pint. Any pub drink that's two drinks (women's drinks nearly always have an "and" in them) then the non-alcoholic "and" will be an extra 10p. It will be illegal to order hot chocolate or fancy coffee in a pub, occupying the bar man's time.

It will ve illegal to put any fruit, other than tomato or olives, on Pizza. We all know the one.

@chicoazul will be the BBC news anchor.

You got my vote.

 

[Benicetoourboys]

Make Tarkowski a protected species

You would get my vote.

 

[Kurt.]

I’d also ban old people going to supermarket checkouts unless they had their money/card ready before getting served

 

[Tommy Chong]

I’d also ban old people going to supermarket checkouts unless they had their money/card ready before getting served

So you’d run for office on a mandate that’s essentially based on bashing senior citizens?!?
For shame Kurtis! For shame!

 

[Kurt.]

So you’d run for office on a mandate that’s essentially based on bashing senior citizens?!?
For shame Kurtis! For shame!

Not all, just the ones who take 20 minutes to pay for a loaf

 

[Tommy Chong]

Not all, just the ones who take 20 minutes to pay for a loaf

Be careful though, mate…

You’d be asking for riots, blood in the streets, and possibly civil war if you get on some of those grandmar’s wrong sides!

 

[tonka1878]

Close all Britain's airports every weekend for 3 hours.

 

[Swartzy]

Castrate anyone that uses AI to respond in a conversation..