The point really is that the EU and the Uk have to find acceptable solutions because of the interdependencies between us. Unfortunately some in the EU talk about 'punishment' or whatever because they feel angry at being jilted and realise that they are not as big and powerful as they once thought. This tends to be amplified in here with comments about what the Eu can do to us or influence us etc etc without once accepting that it works both ways. It was the same about WTO tariffs when some remainers just wouldn't accept that WTO tariffs get applied in both directions.
Any suggestions of recriminations are being driven at the moment purely as negotiating positions and politically to shore up EU unity. Time will move on though and Eu individual governments will want normal trade with the UK because otherwise everybody loses, and I mean everybody not just the UK.....