Been following this exchange, on and off, today, and fwiw, as a "soft" remainer, perhaps my perspective might shed some light on your frustrations. Which I share to some extent.
Leavers, for a variety of reasons, either dont like the EU full stop, and/or have a specific beef with it. Either way, they must believe we are better off not in it.
Edit. And vice versa, obvs.
Remainers, again, for a variety of reasons, would prefer the status quo, as in they a dead keen on the EU, and/or, they are not sure if the sound bites that seemed to sway the result, are in any way realistic. Thats Me btw. Most, imo, are in the camp that I am in. I didnt believe the tripe served up by either sides, and on balance, reckoned staying was preferable to the utter unknown.
And thats before the shambles the MPs have made of it.
So, in a way you are correct. I cannot fathom, other than a pretty narrow few reasons, why so many folk voted for something they didnt have a clue what It actually will be.