Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[ScouseClown]

Appreciate it!

I do wish I knew what has triggered this since it's never crossed my mind before and it has been over 6 years, think I was just telling myself there's a reason why I've been thinking it.

It probably is just a phase and I know deep inside I shouldn't let it take over my mind or even effect what I currently have. Especially when she probably doesn't even think of me at all so I shouldn't be bothered either for various reasons.

 

[COYBL25]

Appreciate it!

I do wish I knew what has triggered this since it's never crossed my mind before and it has been over 6 years, think I was just telling myself there's a reason why I've been thinking it.

It probably is just a phase and I know deep inside I shouldn't let it take over my mind or even effect what I currently have. Especially when she probably doesn't even think of me at all so I shouldn't be bothered either for various reasons.

I can only speak from my own experiences mate, but I’ve found that when you’re in a relationship and it reaches the stage, where it becomes “ settled “ and things slip into a routine, that you almost subconsciously start to think of the past and the people who are part of it, including exs.

It’s almost like the seven year itch, if you know what I mean.

 

[ScouseClown]

That's exactly what it's sounding like.

I'm forcing myself to switch off and while it's a struggle I know it'll be worth it.

I've got something good going for me in this current relationship and things are finally looking up so I need to focus on the positives and not the past and any small thing that could ruin anything.

Appreciate the replies, much as it's good to talk to my mates, sometimes just a simple message on a forum can help just as much.

 

[matty1878]

That's exactly what it's sounding like.

I'm forcing myself to switch off and while it's a struggle I know it'll be worth it.

I've got something good going for me in this current relationship and things are finally looking up so I need to focus on the positives and not the past and any small thing that could ruin anything.

Appreciate the replies, much as it's good to talk to my mates, sometimes just a simple message on a forum can help just as much.

forwards mate and onwards x

 

[matty1878]

Kind of don’t believe this, just doesn’t make sense with the McNeill signing to me.

neil?

 

[Neiler]

neil?

Mea Cupla!

 

[matty1878]

Mea Cupla!

lol

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Update
I don't think I'm crossing into depression again but this year just seems to get worse. The woman I met back in March recently confessed to cheating on me (with multiple people at the same time, wouldn't even apologise and said she will do it again). 6 months of effort and trust thrown away. I think it will affect any future relationships, too. I think I'm managing my emotions decently right now, considering. The loss of appetite which I previously had for 2 weeks at the start of this year to which I lost a fair bit of weight has returned due to the stress of it all, and I'm currently 48 hours without sleep because my brain keeps simulating conversations and scenarios that in some corner of my imagination brings some peace, but in reality will never happen.
The good thing is that I have a circle of really good friends that have stepped up in the last 24 hours. Even staying up to the early hours of the morning just talking despite having an early shift. I'm grateful that I'm not alone but this year has been really difficult. I'm almost 28 and I'm starting to feel like I'm behind my peers in terms of wealth/career/relationships. Trying not to focus on that right now though. Recent events are bad enough.
But hey, Everton won. That's something good.

So sorry about your relationship. Look upon it as you dodged a bullet before it got more serious. It's her loss. You are a lovely person. I'm glad you have support and a circle of good friends.

As others have said, 28 is no age, you're still young. there's loads of time. And don't judge yourself against others. You are you, people do things in different ways and at different paces. There's no formula. But I do understand how you feel. If it helps I felt like you at a similar age. All my friends seemed to be in steady relationships and getting on with their lives. As for me, still night clubbing, getting drunk and let's just say engaging in some very dubious short term relationships. I did feel left out and, to be honest, a bit envious. Two years later I had met the man I married ( and I'm still married to)
So be comfortable in your own skin, you will meet somebody but at the moment you're on a different time line to your peers.

 

[ChesterBlue]

Update
I don't think I'm crossing into depression again but this year just seems to get worse. The woman I met back in March recently confessed to cheating on me (with multiple people at the same time, wouldn't even apologise and said she will do it again). 6 months of effort and trust thrown away. I think it will affect any future relationships, too. I think I'm managing my emotions decently right now, considering. The loss of appetite which I previously had for 2 weeks at the start of this year to which I lost a fair bit of weight has returned due to the stress of it all, and I'm currently 48 hours without sleep because my brain keeps simulating conversations and scenarios that in some corner of my imagination brings some peace, but in reality will never happen.
The good thing is that I have a circle of really good friends that have stepped up in the last 24 hours. Even staying up to the early hours of the morning just talking despite having an early shift. I'm grateful that I'm not alone but this year has been really difficult. I'm almost 28 and I'm starting to feel like I'm behind my peers in terms of wealth/career/relationships. Trying not to focus on that right now though. Recent events are bad enough.
But hey, Everton won. That's something good.

Hey mate, I’m sorry to hear about your relationship that’s always a horrible situation and as someone who’s 30, single and back living at home I can definitely understand the feeling of being behind on career/relationships and wealth but I think the best way to look at things is you’re still a lot younger than your age may feel like, and you never know when that perfect relationship or great opportunity may fall for you. Regarding the mental health and overthinking my best coping strategy I can share is throwing yourself into a hobby of yours which takes your mind off things, whether that be reading, playing games, seeing mates, reading, a good show or whatever - as long as it takes your mind off things I find it really helps.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

Update
I don't think I'm crossing into depression again but this year just seems to get worse. The woman I met back in March recently confessed to cheating on me (with multiple people at the same time, wouldn't even apologise and said she will do it again). 6 months of effort and trust thrown away. I think it will affect any future relationships, too. I think I'm managing my emotions decently right now, considering. The loss of appetite which I previously had for 2 weeks at the start of this year to which I lost a fair bit of weight has returned due to the stress of it all, and I'm currently 48 hours without sleep because my brain keeps simulating conversations and scenarios that in some corner of my imagination brings some peace, but in reality will never happen.
The good thing is that I have a circle of really good friends that have stepped up in the last 24 hours. Even staying up to the early hours of the morning just talking despite having an early shift. I'm grateful that I'm not alone but this year has been really difficult. I'm almost 28 and I'm starting to feel like I'm behind my peers in terms of wealth/career/relationships. Trying not to focus on that right now though. Recent events are bad enough.
But hey, Everton won. That's something good.

I’m sorry mate. That first few months is an exciting time in any relationship so to have it abruptly end the way it did must have made your head spin.

There’s no quick way to get over the relationship ending; you have to make peace with that in your own time, but when you do you’ll see it as an experience that helps you going forward. Don’t let it cloud future relationships because not everyone is the same. Certainly don’t rush into anything because you feel like some mystical clock is ticking and you’re competing against friends/peers, etc.

You may see the parts of peers’ lives that they’re happy to plaster all over the internet, that make you feel like you’re missing out on some of the stuff they have going on, but you also don’t see a lot of their hardships that I’m sure you’d rather not have to experience. There’s no “typical” time of life to hit any of these supposed milestones, these days. Take the time you need, to heal, and focus on what’s best for you. You’ll be surprised at the opportunities that might present themselves when you make yourself your main focus.

 

[IrishBlue2022]

Anyone ever tried hypnotherapy? Am thinking of it after another big anxiety flare up

I completed a Diploma in Clinical Hynotherapy. On day 1 of the course, and having paid quite a bit of money to do it, i openly admitted my scepticism to the class and my tutor that i didn't really believe it was a real thing. I gave it a go and the demo my tutor ran through with me had a real impact.

However as has already been mentioned be open minded and give it a go. If it works for you great if not then find something else. Trying these things out is a risk worth taking.

One thing i would say though, and it's the same with counselling, you need to find a connection with the therapist and also there are so many different approaches to therapies that you really need to experience the different types and find what works for you individually.

 

[coollino]

Been in a odd situation, a girl I was with at uni saw me at the airport and messaged me last night. She is married with kids and stuff but has sent me pics of us when we were together

My gf and I are very open about this kind of stuff and I've told her and she says it's cool if we meet up etc

It's all just got me a bit down tho, remembering how fun and carefree my life was back then. We ended badly due to the about of ketamine I used to take, and I made peace with that as it was my own doing, but the fact she told me she missed me made me feel weird, I don't know how to explain it

I'm really happy with my life now, and I guess I'm thinking it back to my mid 20s. I don't even know what I'm trying to say

 

[COYBL25]

Been in a odd situation, a girl I was with at uni saw me at the airport and messaged me last night. She is married with kids and stuff but has sent me pics of us when we were together

My gf and I are very open about this kind of stuff and I've told her and she says it's cool if we meet up etc

It's all just got me a bit down tho, remembering how fun and carefree my life was back then. We ended badly due to the about of ketamine I used to take, and I made peace with that as it was my own doing, but the fact she told me she missed me made me feel weird, I don't know how to explain it

I'm really happy with my life now, and I guess I'm thinking it back to my mid 20s. I don't even know what I'm trying to say

You`re looking back at things through " rose coloured testicles " mate.

I`d say that, she`s either bored with her life or unhappy and looking for a bit of fun and either way, I`d say meeting up isn`t a good idea.

She`s an ex for a reason, even if that reason at the time, was you caning the ket.

That was then mate, this is now.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Been in a odd situation, a girl I was with at uni saw me at the airport and messaged me last night. She is married with kids and stuff but has sent me pics of us when we were together

My gf and I are very open about this kind of stuff and I've told her and she says it's cool if we meet up etc

It's all just got me a bit down tho, remembering how fun and carefree my life was back then. We ended badly due to the about of ketamine I used to take, and I made peace with that as it was my own doing, but the fact she told me she missed me made me feel weird, I don't know how to explain it

I'm really happy with my life now, and I guess I'm thinking it back to my mid 20s. I don't even know what I'm trying to say

Whats her number mate ? I'll do my civic duty and take one for the team.

 

[Gwladysover]

Been in a odd situation, a girl I was with at uni saw me at the airport and messaged me last night. She is married with kids and stuff but has sent me pics of us when we were together

My gf and I are very open about this kind of stuff and I've told her and she says it's cool if we meet up etc

It's all just got me a bit down tho, remembering how fun and carefree my life was back then. We ended badly due to the about of ketamine I used to take, and I made peace with that as it was my own doing, but the fact she told me she missed me made me feel weird, I don't know how to explain it

I'm really happy with my life now, and I guess I'm thinking it back to my mid 20s. I don't even know what I'm trying to say

I agree with @COYBL25 meeting up isn’t a good idea. You have moved on and now have a new life and family. Remember the good times but leave the past where it belongs.