Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Thanks mate, I have to have a conversation with my director tomorrow about what needs to be taken care of the next two weeks. The guy from the union was really good to be fair. Just told me that I don't owe them anything and that I should be looking to protect myself.

I feel ok this evening, but again I was sleeping all afternoon and feeling so sick I was unable to eat until 1600.

So yeah, I'm doing the right thing. It's just going to be a stressful period while I get it over with.

How about getting out on your bike ?

Maybe getting out on your bike and putting some decent mileage would help take your mind of things.
 
Im pretty much a happy go lucky fella and haven't experienced much anxiety/depression but my sister has had issues over the years with depression so I know how draining it can be when you are struggling with your mental health.

Hope you're all keeping your heads up lads - nothing wrong with asking for help when life gets hard.

Soon as lockdowns over get an ice cold woo woo down yers all :pint2:
 
How about getting out on your bike ?

Maybe getting out on your bike and putting some decent mileage would help take your mind of things.

I've been doing about 500km a week since the start of lockdown. Done less time but the same intensity indoors on the trainer since I've been back at work. In fact, I did so much I killed my back wheel! It's in the shop until thursday. My problem is always that when I feel crap the effort to get changed and get started seems insurmountable and when I'm worrying about something it;s all I think about when I'm on the bike.

Before I got divorced 3 years ago I was riding maybe 14 hours a week. I thought it was because I enjoyed training for events but I later realised I just didn't want to be at home. It's taken me a couple of years to get my mojo back, but I'm doing loads at the moment.

It definitely helps.
 
There is something seriously wrong with me. I have several different types of back pain, but the weirdest and possibly most excruciating is this upper back pain that prevents me from being able to sit down. It’s like my back just isn’t strong enough to hold itself up.

People keep mentioning weak muscles, and I’m no expert so I don’t have a clue, but it feels more than that, like a problem with the tendons or something.

I can’t go on like this. It’s a miracle that I still have a job. Lockdown has allowed me to mask a lot. It’s not always this bad, but this morning has been off the charts, as was Friday night.

Work will soon give me the boot when they eventually click on to how far behind I am, but I am close to giving up anyway. I’m actually employed to help other people, but I’m starting to lose my patience, with everyone, and with life tbh.

Of course this is now having a major affect on my psychological wellbeing, and I think I may have to come off Facebook again. Everyone else is married with children, and it’s now dawned on me that I’m never going to achieve this, which is all I ever really wanted. This hurts, massively!

On top of this, as unbelievable as it may seem, I have a girl who I knew from back in the day messaging me on there. She lives on Merseyside and I live in London, so there’s a major problem in itself, but she does appear to be flirting with me. She’s top quality and I engage in the flirting, but I don’t mention the fact that I can’t even sit down, as something tells me that she won’t exactly find that very attractive. I’d love to meet her though, but I don’t see it happening. Again, this hurts, massively!

At this moment in time, I’m not sure how long I am going to last, in life! I can’t go on with waking up in pain and being unable to sit down.

This morning has been a real low point. I’m now just lying on the sofa having had to answer some calls first thing this morning. I’ll have to get up and do some work again in a bit but it’s a major struggle, even with this medication starting to kick in. 200mg of tramadol and 5mg of diazepam.
 

There is something seriously wrong with me. I have several different types of back pain, but the weirdest and possibly most excruciating is this upper back pain that prevents me from being able to sit down. It’s like my back just isn’t strong enough to hold itself up.

People keep mentioning weak muscles, and I’m no expert so I don’t have a clue, but it feels more than that, like a problem with the tendons or something.

I can’t go on like this. It’s a miracle that I still have a job. Lockdown has allowed me to mask a lot. It’s not always this bad, but this morning has been off the charts, as was Friday night.

Work will soon give me the boot when they eventually click on to how far behind I am, but I am close to giving up anyway. I’m actually employed to help other people, but I’m starting to lose my patience, with everyone, and with life tbh.

Of course this is now having a major affect on my psychological wellbeing, and I think I may have to come off Facebook again. Everyone else is married with children, and it’s now dawned on me that I’m never going to achieve this, which is all I ever really wanted. This hurts, massively!

On top of this, as unbelievable as it may seem, I have a girl who I knew from back in the day messaging me on there. She lives on Merseyside and I live in London, so there’s a major problem in itself, but she does appear to be flirting with me. She’s top quality and I engage in the flirting, but I don’t mention the fact that I can’t even sit down, as something tells me that she won’t exactly find that very attractive. I’d love to meet her though, but I don’t see it happening. Again, this hurts, massively!

At this moment in time, I’m not sure how long I am going to last, in life! I can’t go on with waking up in pain and being unable to sit down.

This morning has been a real low point. I’m now just lying on the sofa having had to answer some calls first thing this morning. I’ll have to get up and do some work again in a bit but it’s a major struggle, even with this medication starting to kick in. 200mg of tramadol and 5mg of diazepam.

First things first is to stop the pain mate or at least make it more manageable. What have the medics said?
 
There is something seriously wrong with me. I have several different types of back pain, but the weirdest and possibly most excruciating is this upper back pain that prevents me from being able to sit down. It’s like my back just isn’t strong enough to hold itself up.

People keep mentioning weak muscles, and I’m no expert so I don’t have a clue, but it feels more than that, like a problem with the tendons or something.

I can’t go on like this. It’s a miracle that I still have a job. Lockdown has allowed me to mask a lot. It’s not always this bad, but this morning has been off the charts, as was Friday night.

Work will soon give me the boot when they eventually click on to how far behind I am, but I am close to giving up anyway. I’m actually employed to help other people, but I’m starting to lose my patience, with everyone, and with life tbh.

Of course this is now having a major affect on my psychological wellbeing, and I think I may have to come off Facebook again. Everyone else is married with children, and it’s now dawned on me that I’m never going to achieve this, which is all I ever really wanted. This hurts, massively!

On top of this, as unbelievable as it may seem, I have a girl who I knew from back in the day messaging me on there. She lives on Merseyside and I live in London, so there’s a major problem in itself, but she does appear to be flirting with me. She’s top quality and I engage in the flirting, but I don’t mention the fact that I can’t even sit down, as something tells me that she won’t exactly find that very attractive. I’d love to meet her though, but I don’t see it happening. Again, this hurts, massively!

At this moment in time, I’m not sure how long I am going to last, in life! I can’t go on with waking up in pain and being unable to sit down.

This morning has been a real low point. I’m now just lying on the sofa having had to answer some calls first thing this morning. I’ll have to get up and do some work again in a bit but it’s a major struggle, even with this medication starting to kick in. 200mg of tramadol and 5mg of diazepam.

That's a heavy cocktail especially when you're feeling down. Can you talk to anybody about how isolated you feel?
 
So just had the one hour call with my boss and some colleagues about who takes my workload whilst I'm off and he seems to think I'm going to be remodelling my entire function and renegotiating with all the suppliers in the next 2 weeks with minimum assistance.... But I'm sick, I protested. But we need flexibility, he countered. We need results.

He seems to think I'll be giving him a daily update call on what I've achieved each day at 1800hrs and that i'll be available for meetings. He even asked if i'm coming to my 1 to 1 with him in the morning and was annoyed when I wasn't.

Where do they find these people?
 
So just had the one hour call with my boss and some colleagues about who takes my workload whilst I'm off and he seems to think I'm going to be remodelling my entire function and renegotiating with all the suppliers in the next 2 weeks with minimum assistance.... But I'm sick, I protested. But we need flexibility, he countered. We need results.

He seems to think I'll be giving him a daily update call on what I've achieved each day at 1800hrs and that i'll be available for meetings. He even asked if i'm coming to my 1 to 1 with him in the morning and was annoyed when I wasn't.

Where do they find these people?
Don't let him push you now ,he knows the score ,he is just trying to bully you .I thought the doc had signed you off work? If you are sick that is it tell him to go pull someone else' chain. Most of all stay on top of the situation and don't give up . Any results he wants to achieve are not going to affect you are they?
 

Don't let him push you now ,he knows the score ,he is just trying to bully you .I thought the doc had signed you off work? If you are sick that is it tell him to go pull someone else' chain. Most of all stay on top of the situation and don't give up . Any results he wants to achieve are not going to affect you are they?

Nah, and with a bit of luck he'll fire me with pay in lieu of notice for not hitting them.

I was only trying to protect my colelagues.
 
So just had the one hour call with my boss and some colleagues about who takes my workload whilst I'm off and he seems to think I'm going to be remodelling my entire function and renegotiating with all the suppliers in the next 2 weeks with minimum assistance.... But I'm sick, I protested. But we need flexibility, he countered. We need results.

He seems to think I'll be giving him a daily update call on what I've achieved each day at 1800hrs and that i'll be available for meetings. He even asked if i'm coming to my 1 to 1 with him in the morning and was annoyed when I wasn't.

Where do they find these people?


Sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It seems to do nothing other than reinforce the fact you are making the right decision to remove yourself from this.

You would hope in circumstances like this, and long before things have come to a head, that your employer might have got even a slight idea that they are massively failing in their duty of care towards you, their employee.

You are better off out of it.
 
There is something seriously wrong with me. I have several different types of back pain, but the weirdest and possibly most excruciating is this upper back pain that prevents me from being able to sit down. It’s like my back just isn’t strong enough to hold itself up.

People keep mentioning weak muscles, and I’m no expert so I don’t have a clue, but it feels more than that, like a problem with the tendons or something.

I can’t go on like this. It’s a miracle that I still have a job. Lockdown has allowed me to mask a lot. It’s not always this bad, but this morning has been off the charts, as was Friday night.

Work will soon give me the boot when they eventually click on to how far behind I am, but I am close to giving up anyway. I’m actually employed to help other people, but I’m starting to lose my patience, with everyone, and with life tbh.

Of course this is now having a major affect on my psychological wellbeing, and I think I may have to come off Facebook again. Everyone else is married with children, and it’s now dawned on me that I’m never going to achieve this, which is all I ever really wanted. This hurts, massively!

On top of this, as unbelievable as it may seem, I have a girl who I knew from back in the day messaging me on there. She lives on Merseyside and I live in London, so there’s a major problem in itself, but she does appear to be flirting with me. She’s top quality and I engage in the flirting, but I don’t mention the fact that I can’t even sit down, as something tells me that she won’t exactly find that very attractive. I’d love to meet her though, but I don’t see it happening. Again, this hurts, massively!

At this moment in time, I’m not sure how long I am going to last, in life! I can’t go on with waking up in pain and being unable to sit down.

This morning has been a real low point. I’m now just lying on the sofa having had to answer some calls first thing this morning. I’ll have to get up and do some work again in a bit but it’s a major struggle, even with this medication starting to kick in. 200mg of tramadol and 5mg of diazepam.
What strikes me Dymak is that you aren't sure what in fact is exactly wrong with you.
Is that right. Without knowing exactly what's wrong then you haven't got any hope and it is apparent you NEED hope. If you haven't already done this I would go to see your Doc and assertively as possible, ask him / her to refer you to a back specialist. Insist on it. You have a good case given that your having pretty unpleasant thoughts about " going on ". You need clarity, need to KNOW what the problem is and how to recover. You need a " this is wrong with you and this is how we fix you ". I know it sounds obvious, however, it seems to me your stuck on the diagnosis which you need to have before the prognosis. Like I say, if you haven't already, insist on seeing the top specialist in the area. I think people have said on here, wisely, that pain relief becomes a psychological one rather than z physical one. " I'm taking these tablets and they're not even hitting the spot. " !! The one good thing for you is that once you start to recover, you'll be exhilarated. Anyway that's what I would suggest, definitive answers to what's wrong first and then start moving forward. Make sure to emmphasize to the Doc how it's affecting you mdntzllh.. If you've already been to see someone I apologize in advance.
 
First things first is to stop the pain mate or at least make it more manageable. What have the medics said?

They have done MRI's which show 'mild L4/L5 disc protrusion', they referred me to a pain specialist in October 2019 and it took until last month for me to finally speak with a nurse over the telephone. She did say that she would arrange for me to meet the pain specialist in person, although I've heard nothing since, and if the past is anything to go by then the appointment will be in February 2021.

They won't do anything anyway tbh. I've gone and bought the painkillers myself, as my GP wouldn't prescribe them to me. Honestly, if I hadn't took the initiative and bought the tramadol myself I would have lost my job months ago, and my pain would be 10 times worse than it already is, and I'm struggling to cope as it is.
 
There is something seriously wrong with me. I have several different types of back pain, but the weirdest and possibly most excruciating is this upper back pain that prevents me from being able to sit down. It’s like my back just isn’t strong enough to hold itself up.

People keep mentioning weak muscles, and I’m no expert so I don’t have a clue, but it feels more than that, like a problem with the tendons or something.

I can’t go on like this. It’s a miracle that I still have a job. Lockdown has allowed me to mask a lot. It’s not always this bad, but this morning has been off the charts, as was Friday night.

Work will soon give me the boot when they eventually click on to how far behind I am, but I am close to giving up anyway. I’m actually employed to help other people, but I’m starting to lose my patience, with everyone, and with life tbh.

Of course this is now having a major affect on my psychological wellbeing, and I think I may have to come off Facebook again. Everyone else is married with children, and it’s now dawned on me that I’m never going to achieve this, which is all I ever really wanted. This hurts, massively!

On top of this, as unbelievable as it may seem, I have a girl who I knew from back in the day messaging me on there. She lives on Merseyside and I live in London, so there’s a major problem in itself, but she does appear to be flirting with me. She’s top quality and I engage in the flirting, but I don’t mention the fact that I can’t even sit down, as something tells me that she won’t exactly find that very attractive. I’d love to meet her though, but I don’t see it happening. Again, this hurts, massively!

At this moment in time, I’m not sure how long I am going to last, in life! I can’t go on with waking up in pain and being unable to sit down.

This morning has been a real low point. I’m now just lying on the sofa having had to answer some calls first thing this morning. I’ll have to get up and do some work again in a bit but it’s a major struggle, even with this medication starting to kick in. 200mg of tramadol and 5mg of diazepam.

Come on lad thats not the attitude to have - she sounds game as a badger to me like! Why not arrange something when all this is over?

I feel for you though my uncle used to suffer really badly with his back and could barely walk some days - I get the odd twinge now and again after rolling in the gym or doing some graft in the house and its awful.
 

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