Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

My wife currently on holiday in Greece has text me today during our seperation and told me to move into a bedsit out of our family home by the time she gets home otherwise she is filing for devorce with a 65/35 split in her favour. I've told her I've not found a place comfortable but I think she would see me dead rather than support me. Does life get any easier?

Tell her to F off! Do you own the house - is it in joint names? If you do have it in joint names without any kind of restrictions then a 50/50 split is assumed for the property. You need to seek advice on why she feels she is entitled to 65/35 in her favour. It sounds like she has just made that figure up. You also need to find out whether she can take your daughter away for holidays without your express permission. Making you move out in such a short space of time is unfair and cruel. She's bullying you. The minute you leave the house you have handed over control of your daughter to your wife. So she has all the stuff and the child. Don't leave until you have an agreement about co-parenting.

 

[Number_25]

First day back in work today after two weeks.

Struggling at the moment, to be honest. I've gone back to the doctors who have given me some more anti-depressants, which seemed to have taken away all feeling.

I don't think we live in a society which allows us to be sad, despite the fact it's a very human emotion.

Weird, that.

 

[Billy Dean]

Wish you the best on that! I just read about CBT-I and it looks like it helps a lot of people!

Wish you the best on that! I just read about CBT-I and it looks like it helps a lot of people!

Thanks Vegas, yeah apparently it gets results in 70-80% of people. Let's see. Although I think quitting my job would be just as effective. At least this stress period is pushing me to come up with an exit plan.

 

[Number_25]

Thanks Vegas, yeah apparently it gets results in 70-80% of people. Let's see. Although I think quitting my job would be just as effective. At least this stress period is pushing me to come up with an exit plan.

CBT has been an absolute godsend for my OCD.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

Booked 4 days in Spain next month.
Goin on my own. Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But I can relax and not worry about stuff. But being on my own will probably annoy me at times too.

It's a bit of both going away with a partner in particular can be difficult if you having a tough time mentally as there's no real escape. Your not both at work and it's just you and partner. I've never really saw the attraction of going on holiday with friends or a partner, because you end up compromising to much and you feel like you haven't had a holiday yourself. The footy's on now so you can probably watch a few games in the hotel or the bars, you'll get talking to people. You can leave when you like so it's not like their going to dictate what you do. I'd advise going on holiday to somewhere like Bosnia, Serbia or Albania, if you like going on your own. There's lot's of nature where you can go walking, without every really bumping into people. The people are friendly so if your ever bored of being on your own, there's always somebody to speak to.

 

[YoboCopter]

It's a bit of both going away with a partner in particular can be difficult if you having a tough time mentally as there's no real escape. Your not both at work and it's just you and partner. I've never really saw the attraction of going on holiday with friends or a partner, because you end up compromising to much and you feel like you haven't had a holiday yourself. The footy's on now so you can probably watch a few games in the hotel or the bars, you'll get talking to people. You can leave when you like so it's not like their going to dictate what you do. I'd advise going on holiday to somewhere like Bosnia, Serbia or Albania, if you like going on your own. There's lot's of nature where you can go walking, without every really bumping into people. The people are friendly so if your ever bored of being on your own, there's always somebody to speak to.

Never seen the attraction of goin on holiday with friends?

Even if your a loner surely you can see the atrraction, some of the best times of my life have been on holidays with my friends

 

[FC sexy xxx]

Never seen the attraction of goin on holiday with friends?

Even if your a loner surely you can see the atrraction, some of the best times of my life have been on holidays with my friends

He makes a good point though going away with friends can be a nightmare. You find out the truth about people when you are away .and it’s not always a good thing .

 

[YoboCopter]

He makes a good point though going away with friends can be a nightmare. You find out the truth about people when you are away .and it’s not always a good thing .

Maybe im just lucky with my friends then!

 

[Rugby Toffee]

Just finished a full week working as Security at the NEC in Birmingham. It was hard to really force myself to interact and overcome the solitary, lonely mindscape. I feel I have made great steps to becoming a real part of outside life and not cocooned in my own world. It has taken a few years to get this far , but the dark days are less. PTSD is awful and support and thoughts are with those that are suffering.

 

[COYBL25]

He makes a good point though going away with friends can be a nightmare. You find out the truth about people when you are away .and it’s not always a good thing .

A very polite way of saying that you don`t find out how difficult and downright weird some of your friends are, until you spend proper time with them !

 

[COYBL25]

Just finished a full week working as Security at the NEC in Birmingham. It was hard to really force myself to interact and overcome the solitary, lonely mindscape. I feel I have made great steps to becoming a real part of outside life and not cocooned in my own world. It has taken a few years to get this far , but the dark days are less. PTSD is awful and support and thoughts are with those that are suffering.

Well in mate, major achievement for you there.

Hopefully before you know it, you`ll just be going to work and not thinking about the all the bad stuff at all

 

[SiEdmo]

I feel your pain mate, as my eldest lad was born with chronic colic, which meant he hardly slept for the first six months.

We got no help at all from family members and ended up doing shifts, so one of us was asleep, whilst the other was awake with the baby.

It was horrendous and put enormous pressure on us. We`d have blazing rows over nothing, it was mainly all down to sleep deprivation.

The way we came through it, was on one day a week, we`d take it in turns to get a proper sleep, which normally meant the other doing 12 hours straight. That one nights proper sleep kept us both going during the rest of the week.

The first kid is scary, as you have no idea what your doing, no one does.

Your missus will be scared, shattered and dare I say hormonal.

If anyone at all has offered to help you mate, grab it with both hands, as it`ll take a load of pressure off the pair of you.

It will get easier once everything settles down. The really hard part is what you`re going through now.

just a little update from me

the boy is 4 months old now, most nights he sleeps from 9pm-6am, me and the wife are living the life!, the little man now brings nothing but happiness, smiles and cuddles

I am even in bed most nights a week now unless there is a reason I need to sleep on the couch (up stupidly early or whatever)

I also, for anyone who remembers the fact I stopped speaking to my whole family, got back in touch with my brother, (we didn't have a problem but I think he sided with my ma who he lives with for an easy life) i messaged him not long after the boy was born, and he decided that going against her was totally worth it, so I know have back my life, my marriage, and my brother......good times at the minute

sorry to post too much good news, don't wanna make anyone feel bad, but to put in context, ive had nothing but misery for like 18 months, so I feel like shouting now!!

 

[COYBL25]

just a little update from me

the boy is 4 months old now, most nights he sleeps from 9pm-6am, me and the wife are living the life!, the little man now brings nothing but happiness, smiles and cuddles

I am even in bed most nights a week now unless there is a reason I need to sleep on the couch (up stupidly early or whatever)

I also, for anyone who remembers the fact I stopped speaking to my whole family, got back in touch with my brother, (we didn't have a problem but I think he sided with my ma who he lives with for an easy life) i messaged him not long after the boy was born, and he decided that going against her was totally worth it, so I know have back my life, my marriage, and my brother......good times at the minute

sorry to post too much good news, don't wanna make anyone feel bad, but to put in context, ive had nothing but misery for like 18 months, so I feel like shouting now!!

It`s great to hear some good news mate.

Proof that things can get better

 

[SiEdmo]

It`s great to hear some good news mate.

Proof that things can get better

deffo mate, ive gone from dreading going home from work to legging it home to see the kid

 

[FC sexy xxx]

A very polite way of saying that you don`t find out how difficult and downright weird some of your friends are, until you spend proper time with them !

yeah I didn’t want to be my usual self in this thread