Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

AmericasToffee

Player Valuation: £8m
what do you mean mate? Best to get a quick devorce and forget everything.? Because if I being honest I wanted to hit her "friend " but now I think fck him too but I'm absolutely desperate to find his long term girlfriend now and tell her the truth. Me and my wife have socialised with the couple a few times which is just weird now isn't it. We socialised together as two couples whilst they were shagging.
No, but realize how toxic that relationship was and find happiness again. It's out there.
 

dave n

Player Valuation: £500k
Mate, first of all, I am sorry to hear this. Second, excuse my English as I am not an English.

This is my nightmare, I am an obsessed guy for this kind of issues but not putting my concern in the middle of my life anymore as soon as I realized if I keep being obsessed about it, my life was going to be a miserable one so I stopped doing it. I was making my life worse myself. I used to work in humanitarian business, 1 week in South Sudan, 1 week in Nigeria, 1 week in Guatemala, 1 week in Lebanon, Iraq, Palestine etc...

I talked to my lady once and told her "If you ever think about cheating me, just tell me that you wanna break up because of it and I'll let you free... No matter when. I won't even fight" She told me that she understands it asked the same thing. So we both agreed. Of course, it doesn't mean that she'll be faithful.

Life sucks but each person has the power of making it better for themselves. You may only live once (depending on what you believe, I am an atheist.), we don't surely know what comes next after death. So consider it as a one time opportunity and make it better for yourself, don't waste it for someone who doesn't worth it. I have no idea on British laws but as long as you can prove that affair, you'll be ok. Of course, avoid anything that can make you look bad on your divorce. Try to avoid her family's provocations. As other mate said, they'll blindly support their daughter and stand next to her. Just take a breath, think logically and then make your move.

Think about your daughter, she'll understand it at some point. She'll understand it is the fact of life. The point here is not letting her hate her mom or letting your wife manipulate her against you. You both need to mind your daughter here.

Don't even blame yourself (I don't know if you do but don't...) it is not your fault. The rate of people cheating their partners has raised even more in the last decade in the modern days. It is not justifying what you are going through but it is a fact. Many people facing that issue, ruining their lives. It just not worth it. Sounds like that ship has sailed, between you and her, so look for the other possibilities for your own good.
Wow mate.your post has really opened my eyes here. Your saying get out asap and avoid all confrontation. I'm really not dismissing this idea at all. But I just don't think it's possible. I do totally understand what you say about her family and loyalties but I just wish they would at least try and kick her arse so she at least had morals. I can't even say anything bad against her parents. There grand daughter has been treated absolutely amazingly and I've been treated as there son only j kept at arms length due to my shyness grumpy personna
 
Been a while since I have posted. Things seem to be improving , the dark days are getting less , but still there. It has been 3 years now and has been a struggle and still is at times. But all I can say is keep communicating , it is hard at first , but help and support is out there. If family and friends are aware , it is amazing how much strength you gain if you can talk openly about your issues. That is what I found, hard I know , but hang in there and take time, there is no quick fix.
 

blue to the bone

Player Valuation: £35m
Reading the last few pages break up of relationships are very hard to deal with.. Tryin to forget people and move on is not easy at all.
Came onto say I'm Doin OK. Taking my meds all the time. My new therapy is going to the beach. A walk but for me a swim on the sea. Totally relaxes me and freshens up body and mind.
Only drawback is cold water and a shriveled wee pecker!
 

RayneWooney

Player Valuation: £225k
The thing is, we will all die alone, besides the fact that we know nothing after life yet.

During our turns in this world, we will love and hate things and people. I think all temporary.

I love my parents, as I haven’t had any kind of family issues, didn’t grow up in a toxic house. They will not be around at some point, even thinking about it is so sad, but I’ll be still here.

I love my lady, we respect each other, we both jealous time by time and it is causing some problems but in general we think that we destined to each other. If she goes away at some point (break up/death etc.) I’ll be so sad about it but I’ll still be here.

I love my dog. She is a cute, little, menace, playful Golden Retriever. She won’t be here at some point. I’ll be so sad but I’ll be still here.

You’ll be there, no matter what. It is not justifying our own problems but people around there having bigger problems than ours. That’s what I’ve seen with my own eyes. When you see a child suffering beacuse of hunger, war etc. your mind is starting to change. When I see a 5 year old child has to deal with bigger problems than me, I realized my own problems were pieces of earth rocks in whole universe.

We’ll experience love, hatred, agony, sadness, happiness. All in all, we’ll be here all alone, we’ll be heading to another experience all alone. There is absolutely no point to make our life is a regretable one for the time we’ll inhale our last breathe.

I want to end this post from a quote from Carl Sagan’s wife about him.



When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again.
Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting.
 

dave n

Player Valuation: £500k
I've spent some quality time with my daughter today and she is relaxed round me a bit more after seeing me absolutely lose the plot last weekend and get arrrested. I don't think she fully trusts me yet but we have had a good day and chatted lots about life. She is already stressed about me spending Christmas a lone bless her.
 
We have only just started this devorce and yet I'm being dictated to about budget ,when I can see my daughter bearing in mind I work away all week and when I can use the car even though I'm only home at weekends. Do things get better? Me and my daughter had big cuddles and I cried tonight but is it bad to be sad round her and cry in front of her?
Go to see Citizen's Advice and see if they can help you with the legal inmplications. Also, have you considered talking to a domestic violence helpline. You are a victim. Not only physically but emotionally too ( which can be just as bad) This organisation offers help to men. Men's Advice Line
 
Go to see Citizen's Advice and see if they can help you with the legal inmplications. Also, have you considered talking to a domestic violence helpline. You are a victim. Not only physically but emotionally too ( which can be just as bad) This organisation offers help to men. Men's Advice Line
True, emotional can be worse at times, mind games, nothing worse.
 

dave n

Player Valuation: £500k
It was nice to hear my daughter say I'm not a bad man last night even though I admit I have been no where near perfect. Yes I have been grumpy and strict and gone way to far in terms of my shouting at times but she did say at times I had tried so hard to change the subject so me and my wife didn't argue but my wife would never let it go.
My daughter is just stuck in the middle though and I feel ashamed of what we're doing to her
 

dave n

Player Valuation: £500k
What to do in a house all a lone when my wife has ignored me all weekend and so we are not even moving forward??? She is literally refusing to speak accusing me of getting threatening and aggressive when she has tried and staying at her parents when I'm home at weekends. She must no she is just fcuk ing my head up even more.
 
Top