Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[gorgeousgeorgeEFC]

I had the odd panic attack as a young man, but since retiring two years ago I've had really bad depression, anxiety and also bizarre intrusive thoughts that haunt me all day long. Like the other day my wife was driving down to Slough to see relatives and I kept thinking "What if she has a heart attack at the wheel of the car and dies?" She doesn't even have a heart condition! I know the chances of that happening are probably a million to one but I can't shake these thoughts when I get them, however irrational or silly they are. And they sometimes last for days on end.

I tried an antidepressant for a few months and it didn't work, so I've been put on another one. I'm three weeks in and I'm actually much worse than before. Is it common for the condition to initially get worse when trying a different antidepressant?

 

[gorgeousgeorgeEFC]

Really struggling tonight. I used to go out every Saturday since I was 18 till 24. Haven't been out for a night out for 2+ years now. Obviously, my choice but I associated going out with drugs, alcohol and ultimately - fights. When I'm dunk and have cash on me I make awful decisions. So, decided to take action and ensure I don't get in that position. I simply can't afford to risk my job.

So, told all my mates I would be out (they think I'm being boring and have be asking for months to come out) got to 8pm, I was buzzing, Oasis songs on full volume, few cheeky cans, getting my aftershave on, shave etc... Then, all of a sudden, for no real reason I just felt low. Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming sense of 'I can't do this'. My mates are in a WhatsApp group, once I told them I wasn't going out they took the mick, suggesting I wasn't going out because I'm skint or that I had a girl around mine etc... We talked about boxing, football and stuff. Anyway, I told them not to worry and to have a good night.

In reality, I bought a big bottle Vodka at my local shop and retreated to my comfort zone - my bedroom.. About 1 hour ago, I started crying. I never cry, it's extremely rare. It wasn't because I wasn't going out, it was because my 'depression' has broke me completely. I'm absolutely sick of feeling this way. I haven't touched spirits for months, now I've relapsed. I feel annoyed with myself. I'm also at that self-pity mode of - I give up.

Anyway, my family have no idea I feel this way, nor do my mates. I've kept this act up, I'm very good at it. I'm sure, many people reading this also hide it, especially blokes. Why? Because we're blokes, we can't be seen as weak. That's our mentality.

I used to be very ignorant about mental health. My old neighbour was this 40+ year old lady, who'd play Nirvana songs till 3am and was a full-on alcoholic. She'd play the Titantic theme, then cry for ages. When I was a kid (like 9) me and my old mates would knock on her door and run. We'd tease her for appearance. To show off, I'd call her 'Crazy Bitch' when She went to our corner shop..She killed herself a few years ago. Jumped over the Sunderland bridge. I only found out when my mam showed me the newspper. Now, I totally regret my actions. Now I've had mental health issues (probably not on her scale) I can relate to her. If only, I could go back, talk to her and listen to her story. Not saying I'd save her, she was deeply troubled, but I regret making her life that tiny bit harder. I just didn't understand, being so young.

Depression is awful, I sincerely hope you all get the help you need. Keep talking.

I keep reminding myself it'll get better. I'm low tonight, 1-0 to the demon but I'll get up tomorrow and go to work, make it through the day and equalise. Ridiculous football analogy, but that's how I see it.

I know for a fact Vodka makes me 10x worse. Frustrating, why drink something you know makes you worse?

I try to keep a sense of perspective. I try to tell myself, there is people who are dying from terminal illness, much younger than me, so I should be grateful, Just look at our Bradley Lowery. His entire life consisted of pain and hospitals, my mental illness is about 0.1& of what that poor, lovely kid went through. How do I have the nerve to feel so sorry for myself. I try to convince myself I'm lucky., that I'm being selfish for feeling so low when I have a nice home, job, family & friends. But, if I'm not happy than all of that means [Poor language removed] all surely?

My 'therapist' summed it up nicely a few months ago. She asked me to fill out a questionaire.

• Do you struggle with simple things?
• Do you find it hard to motivate yourself?
• Do you question yourself and your judgement

That sort of thing. I basically answered 'Yes' for everything and handed it back to her.

"Mark you need to realise; it will not just disappear. What will happen, is eventually, you'll have less 'bad days'. I will help you, but I can't give you a tablet and it'll go. Exercise, motivation and self-will will prevail. 95% of this is mental. You didn't always feel so low, so you can get back there, with the right help".

Sorry for such a long post everyone. Take care all! Keep posting on here. Talking about it (even if it is awkward and hard) is half the battle.

You'e not weak, on the contrary, dealing with such a monumental; taboo illness takes real balls.

Mark, you probably don't realise how important a post this is. The more people talk about illness (particularly mental illness) the more normalised it will become and the more people will seek treatment/support. It's really vital that we have more testimonies like this.

Thanks a lot for bothering to share your story. Try not to belittle your situation, though. What you're going through is NOT 0.1% of what Bradley Lowery went through. Mental illness such as depression ishorrible. And serious. It kills. You are not just some self-pitying eejit; you're mentally unwell, just as I am and just as so many other perfectly decent, ordinary people are.

Please let your family members know your situation Mark. It's not easy, but people are not as ignorant as they once were. Your mam won't suddenly think you're the next Peter Sutcliffe because you have mental health problems. Attitudes have changed, especially with people like Catherine Zeta-Jones coming out as a bipolar disorder sufferer and Tyson Fury opening up about his anxiety and depression etc. The charity Mind reckons that 1 in 4 of us suffer from a mental health issue, ranging from an irrational fear of flying (which Elvis Presley suffered from) to more serious conditions such as psychosis.

I mentioned my mental health struggles to a stuffy, conservative-minded friend of mine over lunch the other week. We were talking about the war and Churchill (of whom my friend is a big fan), so I mentioned the fact that Churchill had had mental illness, namely depression. Then I told him my situation. I expected him to deride me or shun me. However, he accepted it immediately, just as if I was talking about any other illness. He asked if he could do anything and asked if I was pursuing any avenues of treatment etc. There's no need to face mental illness alone matey. In fact, you'll feel daft that you ever did.

 

[efcforever]

Really struggling tonight. I used to go out every Saturday since I was 18 till 24. Haven't been out for a night out for 2+ years now. Obviously, my choice but I associated going out with drugs, alcohol and ultimately - fights. When I'm dunk and have cash on me I make awful decisions. So, decided to take action and ensure I don't get in that position. I simply can't afford to risk my job.

So, told all my mates I would be out (they think I'm being boring and have be asking for months to come out) got to 8pm, I was buzzing, Oasis songs on full volume, few cheeky cans, getting my aftershave on, shave etc... Then, all of a sudden, for no real reason I just felt low. Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming sense of 'I can't do this'. My mates are in a WhatsApp group, once I told them I wasn't going out they took the mick, suggesting I wasn't going out because I'm skint or that I had a girl around mine etc... We talked about boxing, football and stuff. Anyway, I told them not to worry and to have a good night.

In reality, I bought a big bottle Vodka at my local shop and retreated to my comfort zone - my bedroom.. About 1 hour ago, I started crying. I never cry, it's extremely rare. It wasn't because I wasn't going out, it was because my 'depression' has broke me completely. I'm absolutely sick of feeling this way. I haven't touched spirits for months, now I've relapsed. I feel annoyed with myself. I'm also at that self-pity mode of - I give up.

Anyway, my family have no idea I feel this way, nor do my mates. I've kept this act up, I'm very good at it. I'm sure, many people reading this also hide it, especially blokes. Why? Because we're blokes, we can't be seen as weak. That's our mentality.

I used to be very ignorant about mental health. My old neighbour was this 40+ year old lady, who'd play Nirvana songs till 3am and was a full-on alcoholic. She'd play the Titantic theme, then cry for ages. When I was a kid (like 9) me and my old mates would knock on her door and run. We'd tease her for appearance. To show off, I'd call her 'Crazy Bitch' when She went to our corner shop..She killed herself a few years ago. Jumped over the Sunderland bridge. I only found out when my mam showed me the newspper. Now, I totally regret my actions. Now I've had mental health issues (probably not on her scale) I can relate to her. If only, I could go back, talk to her and listen to her story. Not saying I'd save her, she was deeply troubled, but I regret making her life that tiny bit harder. I just didn't understand, being so young.

Depression is awful, I sincerely hope you all get the help you need. Keep talking.

I keep reminding myself it'll get better. I'm low tonight, 1-0 to the demon but I'll get up tomorrow and go to work, make it through the day and equalise. Ridiculous football analogy, but that's how I see it.

I know for a fact Vodka makes me 10x worse. Frustrating, why drink something you know makes you worse?

I try to keep a sense of perspective. I try to tell myself, there is people who are dying from terminal illness, much younger than me, so I should be grateful, Just look at our Bradley Lowery. His entire life consisted of pain and hospitals, my mental illness is about 0.1& of what that poor, lovely kid went through. How do I have the nerve to feel so sorry for myself. I try to convince myself I'm lucky., that I'm being selfish for feeling so low when I have a nice home, job, family & friends. But, if I'm not happy than all of that means [Poor language removed] all surely?

My 'therapist' summed it up nicely a few months ago. She asked me to fill out a questionaire.

• Do you struggle with simple things?
• Do you find it hard to motivate yourself?
• Do you question yourself and your judgement

That sort of thing. I basically answered 'Yes' for everything and handed it back to her.

"Mark you need to realise; it will not just disappear. What will happen, is eventually, you'll have less 'bad days'. I will help you, but I can't give you a tablet and it'll go. Exercise, motivation and self-will will prevail. 95% of this is mental. You didn't always feel so low, so you can get back there, with the right help".

Sorry for such a long post everyone. Take care all! Keep posting on here. Talking about it (even if it is awkward and hard) is half the battle.

You'e not weak, on the contrary, dealing with such a monumental; taboo illness takes real balls.

How are you this morning mate?

I can relate to some of what you posted. Particularly the guilt and not being able to face going out. I would urge you to confide in your family and friends. You'll be amazed at how much they want to help. Is there one person you feel closest to? Maybe start by talking to them, it will be a relief.

 

[efcforever]

I had the odd panic attack as a young man, but since retiring two years ago I've had really bad depression, anxiety and also bizarre intrusive thoughts that haunt me all day long. Like the other day my wife was driving down to Slough to see relatives and I kept thinking "What if she has a heart attack at the wheel of the car and dies?" She doesn't even have a heart condition! I know the chances of that happening are probably a million to one but I can't shake these thoughts when I get them, however irrational or silly they are. And they sometimes last for days on end.

I tried an antidepressant for a few months and it didn't work, so I've been put on another one. I'm three weeks in and I'm actually much worse than before. Is it common for the condition to initially get worse when trying a different antidepressant?

I've read that anti-depressants initially can cause you to dip but you should level out after about a month. I'd give it another week and if you don't start to see an improvement make another appointment with your GP.

I started on 20mg citalopram but had it increased to 40mg before I started to feel better.

 

[witchdoc187]

Really struggling tonight. I used to go out every Saturday since I was 18 till 24. Haven't been out for a night out for 2+ years now. Obviously, my choice but I associated going out with drugs, alcohol and ultimately - fights. When I'm dunk and have cash on me I make awful decisions. So, decided to take action and ensure I don't get in that position. I simply can't afford to risk my job.

So, told all my mates I would be out (they think I'm being boring and have be asking for months to come out) got to 8pm, I was buzzing, Oasis songs on full volume, few cheeky cans, getting my aftershave on, shave etc... Then, all of a sudden, for no real reason I just felt low. Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming sense of 'I can't do this'. My mates are in a WhatsApp group, once I told them I wasn't going out they took the mick, suggesting I wasn't going out because I'm skint or that I had a girl around mine etc... We talked about boxing, football and stuff. Anyway, I told them not to worry and to have a good night.

In reality, I bought a big bottle Vodka at my local shop and retreated to my comfort zone - my bedroom.. About 1 hour ago, I started crying. I never cry, it's extremely rare. It wasn't because I wasn't going out, it was because my 'depression' has broke me completely. I'm absolutely sick of feeling this way. I haven't touched spirits for months, now I've relapsed. I feel annoyed with myself. I'm also at that self-pity mode of - I give up.

Anyway, my family have no idea I feel this way, nor do my mates. I've kept this act up, I'm very good at it. I'm sure, many people reading this also hide it, especially blokes. Why? Because we're blokes, we can't be seen as weak. That's our mentality.

I used to be very ignorant about mental health. My old neighbour was this 40+ year old lady, who'd play Nirvana songs till 3am and was a full-on alcoholic. She'd play the Titantic theme, then cry for ages. When I was a kid (like 9) me and my old mates would knock on her door and run. We'd tease her for appearance. To show off, I'd call her 'Crazy Bitch' when She went to our corner shop..She killed herself a few years ago. Jumped over the Sunderland bridge. I only found out when my mam showed me the newspper. Now, I totally regret my actions. Now I've had mental health issues (probably not on her scale) I can relate to her. If only, I could go back, talk to her and listen to her story. Not saying I'd save her, she was deeply troubled, but I regret making her life that tiny bit harder. I just didn't understand, being so young.

Depression is awful, I sincerely hope you all get the help you need. Keep talking.

I keep reminding myself it'll get better. I'm low tonight, 1-0 to the demon but I'll get up tomorrow and go to work, make it through the day and equalise. Ridiculous football analogy, but that's how I see it.

I know for a fact Vodka makes me 10x worse. Frustrating, why drink something you know makes you worse?

I try to keep a sense of perspective. I try to tell myself, there is people who are dying from terminal illness, much younger than me, so I should be grateful, Just look at our Bradley Lowery. His entire life consisted of pain and hospitals, my mental illness is about 0.1& of what that poor, lovely kid went through. How do I have the nerve to feel so sorry for myself. I try to convince myself I'm lucky., that I'm being selfish for feeling so low when I have a nice home, job, family & friends. But, if I'm not happy than all of that means [Poor language removed] all surely?

My 'therapist' summed it up nicely a few months ago. She asked me to fill out a questionaire.

• Do you struggle with simple things?
• Do you find it hard to motivate yourself?
• Do you question yourself and your judgement

That sort of thing. I basically answered 'Yes' for everything and handed it back to her.

"Mark you need to realise; it will not just disappear. What will happen, is eventually, you'll have less 'bad days'. I will help you, but I can't give you a tablet and it'll go. Exercise, motivation and self-will will prevail. 95% of this is mental. You didn't always feel so low, so you can get back there, with the right help".

Sorry for such a long post everyone. Take care all! Keep posting on here. Talking about it (even if it is awkward and hard) is half the battle.

You'e not weak, on the contrary, dealing with such a monumental; taboo illness takes real balls.

Hi mate, I used to be in a similar situation. Im 40 this year. Drugs and alcohol were the main part of my life for 20 years. Along with all my mates all who are really successful career wise. I've got a young son now and up until quite recently was getting wasted without telling anyone and drinking really heavily. On the outside I can hide it really well. I can drink a few cans and couple of bottles wine and appear sober. Like you I hated myself even while I was doing it. For me everything starts after a drink I don't get violent, or annoying or anything I just keep going. I then get depressed because the next day I didn't deal with stuff that was stressing me out and the longer I leave it the worse it gets. So I decided something had to change as I didn't want my son growing up thinking bad of me although I've had a thoroughly enjoyable life the party has now ended for me. Drinking is the gateway for me and I had a mate come stay who recommended a book to me. It's been 22 days without any booze for me and imnot even craving it. Try reading Allen Carr stop drinking now. In regards to your mates, we all have that banter but it's the ones who help you through this when they recognise the seriousness of your situation who are your real mates. But I would tell the mates you trust. Sad to hear about that lady but at that age I don't think you are aware of adult feelings and consequences. Even now depression is only just being talked about amongst adults as harsh as you were im sure it was the deeper issues and lack of adult support that was the main factor. You were 9 mate. I was still pooping my pants then. Take care mate and remember you aren't alone. You might even find if you open up there's mates in similar situations

 

[witchdoc187]

Mark, you probably don't realise how important a post this is. The more people talk about illness (particularly mental illness) the more normalised it will become and the more people will seek treatment/support. It's really vital that we have more testimonies like this.

Thanks a lot for bothering to share your story. Try not to belittle your situation, though. What you're going through is NOT 0.1% of what Bradley Lowery went through. Mental illness such as depression ishorrible. And serious. It kills. You are not just some self-pitying eejit; you're mentally unwell, just as I am and just as so many other perfectly decent, ordinary people are.

Please let your family members know your situation Mark. It's not easy, but people are not as ignorant as they once were. Your mam won't suddenly think you're the next Peter Sutcliffe because you have mental health problems. Attitudes have changed, especially with people like Catherine Zeta-Jones coming out as a bipolar disorder sufferer and Tyson Fury opening up about his anxiety and depression etc. The charity Mind reckons that 1 in 4 of us suffer from a mental health issue, ranging from an irrational fear of flying (which Elvis Presley suffered from) to more serious conditions such as psychosis.

I mentioned my mental health struggles to a stuffy, conservative-minded friend of mine over lunch the other week. We were talking about the war and Churchill (of whom my friend is a big fan), so I mentioned the fact that Churchill had had mental illness, namely depression. Then I told him my situation. I expected him to deride me or shun me. However, he accepted it immediately, just as if I was talking about any other illness. He asked if he could do anything and asked if I was pursuing any avenues of treatment etc. There's no need to face mental illness alone matey. In fact, you'll feel daft that you ever did.

This is an excellent post and I've been really encouraged by the attitude of every person I've spoken to and confided in.

 

[Safc-mark-91]

Mark, you probably don't realise how important a post this is. The more people talk about illness (particularly mental illness) the more normalised it will become and the more people will seek treatment/support. It's really vital that we have more testimonies like this.

Thanks a lot for bothering to share your story. Try not to belittle your situation, though. What you're going through is NOT 0.1% of what Bradley Lowery went through. Mental illness such as depression ishorrible. And serious. It kills. You are not just some self-pitying eejit; you're mentally unwell, just as I am and just as so many other perfectly decent, ordinary people are.

Please let your family members know your situation Mark. It's not easy, but people are not as ignorant as they once were. Your mam won't suddenly think you're the next Peter Sutcliffe because you have mental health problems. Attitudes have changed, especially with people like Catherine Zeta-Jones coming out as a bipolar disorder sufferer and Tyson Fury opening up about his anxiety and depression etc. The charity Mind reckons that 1 in 4 of us suffer from a mental health issue, ranging from an irrational fear of flying (which Elvis Presley suffered from) to more serious conditions such as psychosis.

I mentioned my mental health struggles to a stuffy, conservative-minded friend of mine over lunch the other week. We were talking about the war and Churchill (of whom my friend is a big fan), so I mentioned the fact that Churchill had had mental illness, namely depression. Then I told him my situation. I expected him to deride me or shun me. However, he accepted it immediately, just as if I was talking about any other illness. He asked if he could do anything and asked if I was pursuing any avenues of treatment etc. There's no need to face mental illness alone matey. In fact, you'll feel daft that you ever did.

Thanks mate, really appreciate that post. I'll try and chat with my Dad, it's just that 'How on earth do I word this to him?' problem. I liked your other post aswel (like is probably the wrong word) when you spoke about your anxiety worries, about your worry that your wife having a heart attack even though you know it's irrational. I think, anxiety & depression work hand-in-hand. I had a withheld call the other week, and it set me off. I was convinced it was bad news, like to tell me I was about to lose my job, or that I owed more money on my loan. In reality, it was 99% likely to just be a marketing call, or just a wrong number. When I thought about it, if it was work it wouldn't be withheld - and they wouldn't ring me anyway! So, totally relate to you there mate. It's a nightmare, it's totally irrational when you apply logic, but in the mad moment, you're stressed with anxiety and worry.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post, and thanks for sharing your experience too. Great comparison with Churchill. If our very own 'British Lionheart' can succumb to this nasty, horrible illness - Anyone can.

Mark, good to get it off your chest. Long posts give others the chance to connect with something the have experienced and can help you with.Do NOT feel guilty for feeling crap when others are suffering too. We are all different and I used to wish I was physically ill so that guilt in my head would have an excuse. Of course there are people "worse off than you" ( got sick of hearing that) but you can only concentrate on you for your own good and the good of your family. You acknowledge the Vodka is no good so try and poor the thing down the sink and take ownership of it. Baby steps mate. Go easy.

Cheers mate, it was quite long! I'm a bit embarrassed, I know I shouldn't be but it's still hard to write about, glad I did though. I'm more embarrassed by many grammar/spelling errors! That'll teach me to type whilst very drunk! Ha!

On a serious note though, thank you mate. Yep, I'm probably far too hard on myself, that's half the problem. The Vodka idea was stupid, absolutely crazy. It's especially frustrating that I knew that as I was buying it.

Just got to keep going forward, baby steps, like you say.

How are you this morning mate?

I can relate to some of what you posted. Particularly the guilt and not being able to face going out. I would urge you to confide in your family and friends. You'll be amazed at how much they want to help. Is there one person you feel closest to? Maybe start by talking to them, it will be a relief.

Afternoon mate. I'm not too bad, made it in work, was tempted to ring in sick but that would be like conceding defeat. So, hard work, but I made it in and got my head down. I'm in till 2pm - thanks for asking. Bit of a hangover, which doesn't help my mental heath at all, but I'm over the worst.

Yep, going out is a huge issue for me, do you have similar problems mate?

Thanks for everyone's support.

 

[COYBL25]

@Safc-mark-91 @witchdoc187 @gorgeousgeorgeEFC

Coming into this late and I know I always mention it, so forgive me for repeating myself.

This mental health forum and it`s online community is amazing and I can guarantee there will be many on there, who are having the exact same problems as you and can offer real practical advice / support :

Mentalhealthforum.net

 

[wgtwiddle]

I had the odd panic attack as a young man, but since retiring two years ago I've had really bad depression, anxiety and also bizarre intrusive thoughts that haunt me all day long. Like the other day my wife was driving down to Slough to see relatives and I kept thinking "What if she has a heart attack at the wheel of the car and dies?" She doesn't even have a heart condition! I know the chances of that happening are probably a million to one but I can't shake these thoughts when I get them, however irrational or silly they are. And they sometimes last for days on end.

I tried an antidepressant for a few months and it didn't work, so I've been put on another one. I'm three weeks in and I'm actually much worse than before. Is it common for the condition to initially get worse when trying a different antidepressant?

Yep, get thoughts like that too. Just pop in to my head, often at times when I'm feeling fine. Objectively, it's just a thought, a firing of neurons. Subjectively, it's like being mentally kicked. It's incredibly unsettling.

Like yourself, the first thing I do is to try and rationalise it all. Mistake. I end up down a mental labarynth. The more I try and force and/or rationalise my thoughts, the more mental tunnels I dig.

Perhaps someone more qualified than I could offer a solution, if indeed there is one. For me, I try just to sit them out. Not very helpful a suggestion I guess but, yes, I reckon a lot of people suffer this way.

 

[efcforever]

Thanks mate, really appreciate that post. I'll try and chat with my Dad, it's just that 'How on earth do I word this to him?' problem. I liked your other post aswel (like is probably the wrong word) when you spoke about your anxiety worries, about your worry that your wife having a heart attack even though you know it's irrational. I think, anxiety & depression work hand-in-hand. I had a withheld call the other week, and it set me off. I was convinced it was bad news, like to tell me I was about to lose my job, or that I owed more money on my loan. In reality, it was 99% likely to just be a marketing call, or just a wrong number. When I thought about it, if it was work it wouldn't be withheld - and they wouldn't ring me anyway! So, totally relate to you there mate. It's a nightmare, it's totally irrational when you apply logic, but in the mad moment, you're stressed with anxiety and worry.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post, and thanks for sharing your experience too. Great comparison with Churchill. If our very own 'British Lionheart' can succumb to this nasty, horrible illness - Anyone can.




Cheers mate, it was quite long! I'm a bit embarrassed, I know I shouldn't be but it's still hard to write about, glad I did though. I'm more embarrassed by many grammar/spelling errors! That'll teach me to type whilst very drunk! Ha!

On a serious note though, thank you mate. Yep, I'm probably far too hard on myself, that's half the problem. The Vodka idea was stupid, absolutely crazy. It's especially frustrating that I knew that as I was buying it.

Just got to keep going forward, baby steps, like you say.




Afternoon mate. I'm not too bad, made it in work, was tempted to ring in sick but that would be like conceding defeat. So, hard work, but I made it in and got my head down. I'm in till 2pm - thanks for asking. Bit of a hangover, which doesn't help my mental heath at all, but I'm over the worst.

Yep, going out is a huge issue for me, do you have similar problems mate?

Thanks for everyone's support.

Yeah going out is difficult for me. I generally just avoid it and I'm fine with that usually. Managed a few nights out last year, which is good going for me. Feeling guilty about my anxiety is also a big issue for me.

I finally confronted it last year through counselling. It helped get to the root cause of my anxiety. These days I have alot more good days than bad.

 

[gorgeousgeorgeEFC]

@Safc-mark-91 @witchdoc187 @gorgeousgeorgeEFC

Coming into this late and I know I always mention it, so forgive me for repeating myself.

This mental health forum and it`s online community is amazing and I can guarantee there will be many on there, who are having the exact same problems as you and can offer real practical advice / support :

Mentalhealthforum.net

Thanks a lot mate. Really appreciate that.

I'll check that out.

 

[Turfman]

Yep, get thoughts like that too. Just pop in to my head, often at times when I'm feeling fine. Objectively, it's just a thought, a firing of neurons. Subjectively, it's like being mentally kicked. It's incredibly unsettling.

Like yourself, the first thing I do is to try and rationalise it all. Mistake. I end up down a mental labarynth. The more I try and force and/or rationalise my thoughts, the more mental tunnels I dig.

Perhaps someone more qualified than I could offer a solution, if indeed there is one. For me, I try just to sit them out. Not very helpful a suggestion I guess but, yes, I reckon a lot of people suffer this way.

It is not uncommon to have to try various meds to find the one that works for you. If you find that is is not helping go back to your Doctor and let them know. Also, when going on or off meds make sure that you follow dosage instructions closely.

Before I realized I needed medication, I used to go for counselling sessions. In hindsight it was a temporary fix, but maybe it might help until you find the right medication.

 

[Safc-mark-91]

Hi mate, I used to be in a similar situation. Im 40 this year. Drugs and alcohol were the main part of my life for 20 years. Along with all my mates all who are really successful career wise. I've got a young son now and up until quite recently was getting wasted without telling anyone and drinking really heavily. On the outside I can hide it really well. I can drink a few cans and couple of bottles wine and appear sober. Like you I hated myself even while I was doing it. For me everything starts after a drink I don't get violent, or annoying or anything I just keep going. I then get depressed because the next day I didn't deal with stuff that was stressing me out and the longer I leave it the worse it gets. So I decided something had to change as I didn't want my son growing up thinking bad of me although I've had a thoroughly enjoyable life the party has now ended for me. Drinking is the gateway for me and I had a mate come stay who recommended a book to me. It's been 22 days without any booze for me and imnot even craving it. Try reading Allen Carr stop drinking now. In regards to your mates, we all have that banter but it's the ones who help you through this when they recognise the seriousness of your situation who are your real mates. But I would tell the mates you trust. Sad to hear about that lady but at that age I don't think you are aware of adult feelings and consequences. Even now depression is only just being talked about amongst adults as harsh as you were im sure it was the deeper issues and lack of adult support that was the main factor. You were 9 mate. I was still pooping my pants then. Take care mate and remember you aren't alone. You might even find if you open up there's mates in similar situations

Great post mate.

You sound very much like me, very similar - just different ages. I bet your son was a massive, positive influence on your life eh? 22 days? Well done! Mean that! Speaking to good people like you gives me hope. I must admit, I was in a really, really bad place Saturday. Unfortunately, I'm used to it now, I just have to manage it best I can.

Drinking for me is just to numb the pain, I'd like to think I'm fairly intelligent, so I know the consequences of doing it, but I still go ahead and do it anyway - that's the worrying bit. I do it simply to block things out for a bit, that's all. But, as you well know, it never works.

That lady effected me a lot, especially now, I can't seem to get over it, I didn't even know her that well, it's just something that sticks in my mind. She must have had a tortured life.

Thanks again to you and everyone for their kind words, it really helps. You keep up the good work mate, keep me updated on your situation.

 

[NCLBlue]

Sound everyone in here lending a hand to others, you're all boss.

I decided to come off my medication around 5 weeks ago - I was on Sertraline 50mg and felt 'ready' as I had a holiday booked which I've just came back from and felt my money worries had eased enough. It was a crazy ride with some of the side effects but it's going well.

Since 'going it alone' I've managed to face significant bad news such as my sister's cancer diagnosis, an issue with my holiday flights and losing a passport the week leading up to my holiday! But I've done it and I'm proud to say there is definitely light at the end of it for everyone.

It took my life falling to bits for me to seek help and go on medication and I remained on medication (various types and changes in between) from January 16 to February 18 and feel that if I ever needed the 'helping hand' I would not hesitate to get them again. I had a mental block and the stigma to deal with in the first instance but I was so low that I had to do it and I'm glad for it now.

Keep going everyone, and one day you'll wake up without fear and a positive energy to look forward to the day ahead and feel an unexplainable love for life without the dread and you'll be able to say you made it out the other side.

 

[BiggyRat]

Sound everyone in here lending a hand to others, you're all boss.

I decided to come off my medication around 5 weeks ago - I was on Sertraline 50mg and felt 'ready' as I had a holiday booked which I've just came back from and felt my money worries had eased enough. It was a crazy ride with some of the side effects but it's going well.

Since 'going it alone' I've managed to face significant bad news such as my sister's cancer diagnosis, an issue with my holiday flights and losing a passport the week leading up to my holiday! But I've done it and I'm proud to say there is definitely light at the end of it for everyone.

It took my life falling to bits for me to seek help and go on medication and I remained on medication (various types and changes in between) from January 16 to February 18 and feel that if I ever needed the 'helping hand' I would not hesitate to get them again. I had a mental block and the stigma to deal with in the first instance but I was so low that I had to do it and I'm glad for it now.

Keep going everyone, and one day you'll wake up without fear and a positive energy to look forward to the day ahead and feel an unexplainable love for life without the dread and you'll be able to say you made it out the other side.

That's great news mate, well done.

It's good to note how the meds can just get you to a point where you're ready to take over the recovery yourself. Like crutches for a broken leg. Everyone will respond differently & to their own timeframe, but it's great to hear when people are back on their own two feet!