Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Jokerdan]

Blimey mate, that`s a tough one to land on you and it sounds dodgy as hell.

She`s a foreign national, he`s only getting married so she won`t have to leave the country when her visa expires and you`ve never met her !

There`s red flags going up all over the place.

If it was me, I`d run a mile.

Ps - you don`t know if he`s parted with any substantial sums of money in arranging all this or if he`s been paid to do it ?????

With neon lights

I guess you knew he was seeing someone and this just hasn't been dropped on you out of the blue? I know best mates don't have to live in each others pockets and can go weeks, months or even years without necessarily seeing or hearing from each other - life circumstances change and dictate this , I know - but this is a big deal and, whilst probably genuine and innocent, it is difficult not to have those doubts. I suspect you're primary concern revolves around whether your bezzie is making a huge mistake rather than if there is something illegal going on or the choice of wedding attire.

If he comes back to you and wants to understand why you've adopted the stance you have then I would simply tell him it's all a bit sudden, you haven't had time to take the news in and not even having been introduced and gotten to know the lass it's just making you uncomfortable. Explain that whilst not wanting to break your friendship bonds you don't really believe you can do justice to the role. If he knows and understands you as we on this forum have come to know each other and our own personal dilemmas I am sure he would not want to place unnecessary pressure upon you given your reaction.

I am sure it will resolve itself.

 

[paultheblue]

Does anyone on here had any experience of dealing with a family member diagnosed with CFS/ME (cronic fatigue syndrome)?.
I live with my 27 year old daughter who has had to live with this for the last 2 years and there is absolutely no treatment for the illness. She is unable to work full-time as she only has a small amount of energy in a day.
My worry is that when I'm gone ( I'm 70)who will be there to look after her when she gets worse.
I would die tomorrow if i give her health back

 

[Rita_Poon]

Does anyone on here had any experience of dealing with a family member diagnosed with CFS/ME (cronic fatigue syndrome)?.
I live with my 27 year old daughter who has had to live with this for the last 2 years and there is absolutely no treatment for the illness. She is unable to work full-time as she only has a small amount of energy in a day.
My worry is that when I'm gone ( I'm 70)who will be there to look after her when she gets worse.
I would die tomorrow if i give her health back

That's awful Paul, I may be asking very basic questions, so here goes, has she been screened for allergies? and was covid a possible factor in this? (based on the time line). Trying to find a cause might be an avenue to pursue with it simply turning up, there might be an underlying cause that could be treated?
I reckon there are more experienced than me on here with regards looking into carers allowance and similar, getting a plan together might take some of the burden out of the situation, because the last sentence is a bit worrying.

 

[COYBL25]

Does anyone on here had any experience of dealing with a family member diagnosed with CFS/ME (cronic fatigue syndrome)?.
I live with my 27 year old daughter who has had to live with this for the last 2 years and there is absolutely no treatment for the illness. She is unable to work full-time as she only has a small amount of energy in a day.
My worry is that when I'm gone ( I'm 70)who will be there to look after her when she gets worse.
I would die tomorrow if i give her health back

There are various support groups mate :

The ME Association
Action for ME
ME Association Liverpool.

Have you looked at them, as I`m sure they will be be the best starting point for help, support and practical advice ?

There will be others who are in very similar circs to you or who will have been in your position and who should be able to help on these sites mate.

 

[paultheblue]

There are various support groups mate :

The ME Association
Action for ME
ME Association Liverpool.

Have you looked at them, as I`m sure they will be be the best starting point for help, support and practical advice ?

There will be others who are in very similar circs to you or who will have been in your position and who should be able to help on these sites mate.

I am registered with support groups mate but ultimately there is no cure or medication that helps her symptoms.

 

[paultheblue]

That's awful Paul, I may be asking very basic questions, so here goes, has she been screened for allergies? and was covid a possible factor in this? (based on the time line). Trying to find a cause might be an avenue to pursue with it simply turning up, there might be an underlying cause that could be treated?
I reckon there are more experienced than me on here with regards looking into carers allowance and similar, getting a plan together might take some of the burden out of the situation, because the last sentence is a bit worrying.

She has been screened for allergies but nothing showed up
The symptoms are very similar to long covid as I always felt there was a connection due to the timeline

 

[Rita_Poon]

She has been screened for allergies but nothing showed up
The symptoms are very similar to long covid as I always felt there was a connection due to the timeline

I'm not a womens health specialist, has a hormonal specialist done the screening for an early onset of something woman specific?

 

[paultheblue]

I'm not a womens health specialist, has a hormonal specialist done the screening for an early onset of something woman specific?

I don't know if she has seen a hormone specialist but sometimes you have to go back to square one and try again.
I will speak to her GP and push for hormone Specialist to see her but like everything else in the NHS you wait for ever for an appointment.
Thanks for your help though every avenue is worth exploring.

 

[Bryan+]

Does anyone on here had any experience of dealing with a family member diagnosed with CFS/ME (cronic fatigue syndrome)?.
I live with my 27 year old daughter who has had to live with this for the last 2 years and there is absolutely no treatment for the illness. She is unable to work full-time as she only has a small amount of energy in a day.
My worry is that when I'm gone ( I'm 70)who will be there to look after her when she gets worse.
I would die tomorrow if i give her health back

Do you claim carers allowance for her? You may be able to pay for some additional help for her mate. Bless you for this.

 

[paultheblue]

Do you claim carers allowance for her? You may be able to pay for some additional help for her mate. Bless you for this.

I don't claim anything for her mate i may look into it more as her symptoms get worse

 

[matty1878]

I don't know if she has seen a hormone specialist but sometimes you have to go back to square one and try again.
I will speak to her GP and push for hormone Specialist to see her but like everything else in the NHS you wait for ever for an appointment.
Thanks for your help though every avenue is worth exploring.

keep at it mate keep on until you get more answers and help

 

[COYBL25]

I don't claim anything for her mate i may look into it more as her symptoms get worse

You 100% should be claiming mate.

The process is deliberately designed to put people off, but there’s a lot of stuff online that is very helpful and the likes of the ME Association will have people that can help too.

I’ve had years of filling the forms in for my lad, so if you need any help don’t hesitate

 

[Bryan+]

I don't claim anything for her mate i may look into it more as her symptoms get worse

Are you in Liverpool? You 100% should be claiming something to assist you - at 70 it shouldn’t be just on you, you can get help claiming from citizens advice bureau, but I recommend calling these instead, I’ve advised a few folks in similar situations as yourself and they have a high success rate, just give them a bell and explain what’s going on, they are there to help.

ICANN | Advocacy Support or Advice Based in Lancashire

ICANN is a Lancashire based advocacy charity providing advocacy services within Lancashire, and the rest of the North West.

i-cann.net

There number is: 01772746061

 

[paultheblue]

You 100% should be claiming mate.

The process is deliberately designed to put people off, but there’s a lot of stuff online that is very helpful and the likes of the ME Association will have people that can help too.

I’ve had years of filling the forms in for my lad, so if you need any help don’t hesitate

Thanks mate

 

[BullensRoad]

Did anyone experience mates going weird with them when expecting a baby?

I ask because me and my supposed best mate haven’t spoken to eachother for seven months now.

All started when he randomly stopped replying to my messages and avoiding being anywhere I would be.

According to people I didn’t “value our friendship”, so when I heard that I thought I’ll just leave him be and focus on my mrs and the baby because I can’t be arsed getting involved in such nonsense.

My mrs eventually broke at the weekend and text his mrs to ask what’s going on and all the blame was put on me so i had to get in touch with him tonight.

Really can’t be doing with the confrontation as I’ve had enough of that in recent years with family members so I’m a bit stressed out with it all.

Just seeing if this is something that’s common amongst people when you’re having a baby?

Hi mate.

I had the same thing with close friends and family in the last year. My partner isn't from the UK so it was a hard shock for her and myself.

I got the worst end of the stick when I pulled them out on it

Things are better now but it's still on my mind.

Send me a message mate.