Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

This might not be the best place to post this but my Mum´s fella has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer. It´s advanced into the muscle wall so they need to remove the bladder and chemo will be involved.

I´m currently out in Spain but moving back to be with them. I´m already shook up by it all, hearing my Mum crack up on the phone constantly is gut wrenching. For people who have been in a similar situation, what can I expect? What can I do to help? I know it´s going to be a horrible few months/years ahead. I just want to be as best prepared as possible to help in whatever way I can.
 
This might not be the best place to post this but my Mum´s fella has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer. It´s advanced into the muscle wall so they need to remove the bladder and chemo will be involved.

I´m currently out in Spain but moving back to be with them. I´m already shook up by it all, hearing my Mum crack up on the phone constantly is gut wrenching. For people who have been in a similar situation, what can I expect? What can I do to help? I know it´s going to be a horrible few months/years ahead. I just want to be as best prepared as possible to help in whatever way I can.
My wifes mother has bladder cancer, she's quite secretive about how its going but got the diagnosis about 5 years ago and seems to be in good health overall. I'm not sure how advanced it was when it was first picked up and the only thing i really know is she gets chemo every few months now so I'm assuming its under control somewhat as the chemo was a lot more regular early on.

If you've got any questions don't hesitate to ask and I'll see if i can get my wife to ask for you.
 

This might not be the best place to post this but my Mum´s fella has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer. It´s advanced into the muscle wall so they need to remove the bladder and chemo will be involved.

I´m currently out in Spain but moving back to be with them. I´m already shook up by it all, hearing my Mum crack up on the phone constantly is gut wrenching. For people who have been in a similar situation, what can I expect? What can I do to help? I know it´s going to be a horrible few months/years ahead. I just want to be as best prepared as possible to help in whatever way I can.
I can’t help much mate but don’t ignore your own well being when you come back. I looked here when my problems started ( prostate) https://www.bbuk.org.uk/
 
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My wifes mother has bladder cancer, she's quite secretive about how its going but got the diagnosis about 5 years ago and seems to be in good health overall. I'm not sure how advanced it was when it was first picked up and the only thing i really know is she gets chemo every few months now so I'm assuming its under control somewhat as the chemo was a lot more regular early on.

If you've got any questions don't hesitate to ask and I'll see if i can get my wife to ask for you.

Cheers mate. Unfortunately I think his is quite advanced but the way I´ve understood it is there´s still hope that he can get through it. We´ve always been a lucky family to not be hit by this terrible illness but now it´s happened it feels exactly how I imagined it would. I just want to be there for them as much as I can over the next few months.
 
This might not be the best place to post this but my Mum´s fella has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer. It´s advanced into the muscle wall so they need to remove the bladder and chemo will be involved.

I´m currently out in Spain but moving back to be with them. I´m already shook up by it all, hearing my Mum crack up on the phone constantly is gut wrenching. For people who have been in a similar situation, what can I expect? What can I do to help? I know it´s going to be a horrible few months/years ahead. I just want to be as best prepared as possible to help in whatever way I can.
Take a look at the link I've created. It may help Danny. All you can do m8 as be supportive as possible, telling loved ones your there for them and your ready to listen. Look after yourself too Danny, it will be an emotional roller-coaster for everyone. Take care Danny.

 
Reading some of these posts by people who have had bereavements makes me feel bad for feeling like crap as my marriage is crumbling around me due to being married to a drunk. Only stayed to make sure the kids are ok and now with covid and Brexit I daren't leave due to worrying about my job going belly up in a few months time. Feel trapped, frustrated and angry and our performances of late haven't helped.

As Blackadder said, I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell.
 
Reading some of these posts by people who have had bereavements makes me feel bad for feeling like crap as my marriage is crumbling around me due to being married to a drunk. Only stayed to make sure the kids are ok and now with covid and Brexit I daren't leave due to worrying about my job going belly up in a few months time. Feel trapped, frustrated and angry and our performances of late haven't helped.

As Blackadder said, I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell.

Whats the cause of the drinking if you dont mind me asking mate? If there is an underlying cause thats leading to it maybe you guys can work on getting some help on it?
 

Cheers mate. Unfortunately I think his is quite advanced but the way I´ve understood it is there´s still hope that he can get through it. We´ve always been a lucky family to not be hit by this terrible illness but now it´s happened it feels exactly how I imagined it would. I just want to be there for them as much as I can over the next few months.
Hold on to any hope.
Your doing all the right things.
The lids on here will be saying one for you no doubt.
 
Whats the cause of the drinking if you dont mind me asking mate? If there is an underlying cause thats leading to it maybe you guys can work on getting some help on it?
When you are drinking two thirds of a bottle of gin every day of the week, week in week out then you won't accept there is a problem and I get abuse for even mentioning it.
 
When you are drinking two thirds of a bottle of gin every day of the week, week in week out then you won't accept there is a problem and I get abuse for even mentioning it.

Not an easy situation to be in but you cant keep the status quo out of keeping the peace. If she isn't willing to seek help then it might be a decision you need to make yourself mate.

Hope it works out for you - dont suffer in silence as if you want out then got to do whats right for you.
 
When you are drinking two thirds of a bottle of gin every day of the week, week in week out then you won't accept there is a problem and I get abuse for even mentioning it.

Sounds like my mates missus.

Gets in from work, gets into her pyjamas and puts the telly on with a bottle of gin.

He comes home from work, tidies and cleans the house up and feeds the kids.

She hasn`t got a " problem " either.

His lads are 16 and 18 ( away at Uni ) , he`s had enough too.

She won`t engage with him, so he`s started divorce proceedings, which she`s refused to acknowledge.

The crazy thing is that the way the law works, even though she`s a rancid drunk, she`ll get the youngest lad.
 

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