An open letter to Roberto Martinez

[Housequake]

Dear Roberto,

the mask's slipping here you Spanish clown. Take your positivity and victories back to Catalonia.

*Hahaha*.

 

[Housequake]

Dear Roberto,

Until Barry I was never happy.

 

[dead_soft]

Dear Robby, Rob, Rob, Rob,

Can I call you Bob? I like the way you smile. I moved out of my mum's and live in town now. You could stay over on my couch. I got a Nespresso thing from Aldi, think you'll like it in the morning. Got those small little cups for you to drink out of too. Bet you'd like that. I'll get the spare duvet out.

Love,

DS x

 

[Kurt.]

Dear Bob

You make me hard in the knob.

That's all.

 

[Shibbywiggles]

Dear Roberto,

We, at Everton, love boss Belgians, lads who like a big crunching tackle, scoring slick passing goals and winning matches.

...I see what you did there, well in lad!

S. Wiggles.

 

[Huyton Layne]

Dear Roberto,
Are you as good at charming women as you are Evertonian males? By God you have some gift. You carry yourself well, speak so beautifully, and have a great smile. I'm glad my wife doesn't see any press conference stuff because there's no way I can compete with you.
Love,
Layne xx

 

[The-Golden-Vision]

Dear Roberto

Yours sincerely

The-golden-vision

 

[royalblue66]

Dear Bobby did you back heel the R/S ?

 

[allezlesbleus]

Dear Roberto
Thank you very much for being our manager, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for being our manager, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for getting Lukaku, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for getting Lukaku, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for playing Ross Barkley, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for playing Ross Barkley, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for keeping our Bainsey, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for keeping our Bainsey, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for the attacking football, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for the attacking football, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for being so positive, thank you very much, thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for being so positive, thank you very very very much.
Thank you very much for respecting our history, thank you very much , thank you very very very much. Thank you very much for respecting our history thank you very very very much.
With acknowledgement s to the Scaffold (look them up young ones!!! And in the hope that he gives us cause to add a few verses about turning over the RS and Mancs away or evening winning something.)

 

[DanEFC92]

Dear Rob,

I don't know much...But I know I love you (hoo-a-hooo) and that may be, all I need to know.

DanEFC92

 

[seer]

Dear Robert

Could you list all the things that aren't "wonderful," "fabulous," "incredible," "fantastic," "sensational" as everything and anything you talk about in interviews is at least one of those things.

Cheers
/Me

P.S. Is it true you sweat on your face even when its buried in snow?
P.P.S tw@t the shi*e and I'll go one step further masturbate over you twice a week

 

[blue61]

Dear Roberto, could you please change your name to David Moyes, because there's an unhealthy amount of people on this site who can't stop talking about the ginger minger, and apparently never will ffs.
Dos ceveza por favor.

 

[TheNiz]

Dear Roberto,

Please come to Australia soon. I promise I won't try to bum you.


Love,
Niz x

 

[deipnosophist]

Dear Roberto,

Please come to Australia soon. I promise I won't try to bum you.


Love,
Niz x

...well he's hardly like to go now is he?... seeing as such a wonderful tourist experience is being denied him!

 

[deipnosophist]

Dear Bob

You make me hard in the knob.

That's all.

...re your knob issue : there's a bloke called Niz (who lives down under) who you might visit