Jokes Thread

[Seathestars]

Nearly had a fight on the beach today with some dog walker.
Started talking to him and he asked if I'd like to stroke his Cocker Spaniel.
I suppose I should have picked the Spaniel.

 

[BITTER TWISTED & BLUE]

Surprise morning sex is great
Unless you are in prison

 

[summerisle]

 

[summerisle]

 

[Rita_Poon]

Lamentable?

 

[Bedfordblue]

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman arrive together at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter greets them and says, “You’ve all led such colourful lives that you’re each granted one wish before entering.”

The Irishman says, “I’d love a thousand Riverdance dancers performing just for me!”

no problem says St Peter

The Scotsman grins and says, “I want a full Highland pipe band, kilts and all, playing Scotland the Brave!”

Of course says St Peter

St. Peter turns to the Englishman, who looks at the chaos unfolding and says calmly, “Could I be let in now—before they start?”

 

[summerisle]

Ffs.

 

[summerisle]

 

[Rita_Poon]

A certain foo fighters frontman up to anna123 yet?