Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Earwigjoe]

My youngest lad is disabled mate and what you say about the way some people behave around disabled people is spot on.

With my lad it`s more subtle, as people tend to stare at him, rather than take the piss.

It doesn`t bother me, as I`ve become so used to it, I don`t notice it anymore, but it really hurts my missus.

You mention holidays.

Don`t laugh, but one of the main reasons we keep going back to Benidorm and the Old Town in particular, time and time again, is that I`ve never been anywhere that is so accepting of all disability.

You`ll know what I mean when I say this, but when you`re there, you almost forget that you have child with a disability.

I wish I'd your patience mate, people just seem to be getting worse now, like you say it was always the wife who got hurt before and i could brush it off. I think its cos hes older now, he's a big boy now, he's more aware of it now and gets himself more upset when he sees it done on him - hitting himself or his mum or me. Used to be Italy but Eurodisney is our regular holiday now, lots of disabled kids there - so he and grandaughter feel more comfortable but even there its mad too, with the laughing and mimicking - the last time we were there sitting for the parade in disabled section there was an obese prick trying to fit into a leeds top and he wanted his family to sit in there. He was told he couldn't so he pretended to be disabled to the howls of his family then he spotted siamese twins pointing them out, laughing, shouting and taking their photos. Sadly, lots of people only give an eff about themselves now mate. All the best with your young blue, i cant wait to get mine over to the new sensory room at new ground.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Earwig you have my admiration friend. You are an expert on your son / grandaughter and their needs and as you know it can be very demanding. One of my patients was " fixated " with bus time tables and any outings or trips out together, I had to try and avoid bus stops otherwise we would be there for hours. I'm sure your a very good parent and a patient one too, especially with those people who don't " get it. ". Take care

Thanks mate, i need to work on the patience with idiots bit though.

 

[WilliamPerry]

@WilliamPerry, I 100% agree mate I've a severely autistic son (my pride and joy) and grandaughter. Destroys me when we're out anywhere the laughs, finger pointing and the mimicking of them, I swear I'll end up snapping and doing time one day. Holidays are the worst - people don't care how they behave - no one knows them. In a time where everyone likes to be offended for everyone else the way many here treat their own peoples physical and mental health problems is scandalous. Hitlers 'Useless Eaters' policy seems to have been accepted by many.

That’s it . Most people like to practice being sound online on social media but out in the real world is we’re it counts . patience and understanding is lacking in people . Same goes with respect and decency .

 

[COYBL25]

I wish I'd your patience mate, people just seem to be getting worse now, like you say it was always the wife who got hurt before and i could brush it off. I think its cos hes older now, he's a big boy now, he's more aware of it now and gets himself more upset when he sees it done on him - hitting himself or his mum or me. Used to be Italy but Eurodisney is our regular holiday now, lots of disabled kids there - so he and grandaughter feel more comfortable but even there its mad too, with the laughing and mimicking - the last time we were there sitting for the parade in disabled section there was an obese prick trying to fit into a leeds top and he wanted his family to sit in there. He was told he couldn't so he pretended to be disabled to the howls of his family then he spotted siamese twins pointing them out, laughing, shouting and taking their photos. Sadly, lots of people only give an eff about themselves now mate. All the best with your young blue, i cant wait to get mine over to the new sensory room at new ground.

Talking of the club, have you had a look at what they do for kids like your lad ?

I know they’re brilliant at this sort of thing and have a footy team for kids like my lad - he’s too young at the mo.

They do all kinds of other stuff though.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Talking of the club, have you had a look at what they do for kids like your lad ?

I know they’re brilliant at this sort of thing and have a footy team for kids like my lad - he’s too young at the mo.

They do all kinds of other stuff though.

Club are amazing at stuff like that, are you going to get your wee man involved when hes old enough?? That would be class, - Our young lad has severe learning difficulties too along with the autism and sensory needs although hes brilliant around us he doesnt mix with others - even in school - he prefers his own company - although we did bring him to a ceile band at the weekend as he likes music and we had him up dancing with us even though there was loads of others on the floor and he was buzzing, If he loves the dancing he definitely doesn't take after his Da

 

[COYBL25]

Club are amazing at stuff like that, are you going to get your wee man involved when hes old enough?? That would be class, - Our young lad has severe learning difficulties too along with the autism and sensory needs although hes brilliant around us he doesnt mix with others - even in school - he prefers his own company - although we did bring him to a ceile band at the weekend as he likes music and we had him up dancing with us even though there was loads of others on the floor and he was buzzing, If he loves the dancing he definitely doesn't take after his Da

I`ve taken him a few times, but he hasn`t got quite the hang of forwards and backwards, so he kind of plays whichever way he`s facing and ends up scoring loads of own goals

 

[GraemeS1980]

I have to admit I’m struggling right now. It’s bloody hard being me as I’m meant to keep the family together and ironically I’m a mental health nurse practitioner.
My Daughter was raped in February and we just found out that even though there is CCTV footage of the lad leaving the scene there is no DNA evidence so it’s her word against his.
Since February my daughter has gone off the rails, lost her job, stays in her flat all day and is out at night drinking and possibly drugs. She has now got a girlfriend which is a new thing and I don’t care what orientation she is but feel she is extremely vulnerable right now.
I’ve had little or no contact with her for nearly two months, I’ve got social services and adult mental health service involved but nothing is happening.
I just don’t know what else I can do, actually feel a bit better just getting it down on here.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I have to admit I’m struggling right now. It’s bloody hard being me as I’m meant to keep the family together and ironically I’m a mental health nurse practitioner.
My Daughter was raped in February and we just found out that even though there is CCTV footage of the lad leaving the scene there is no DNA evidence so it’s her word against his.
Since February my daughter has gone off the rails, lost her job, stays in her flat all day and is out at night drinking and possibly drugs. She has now got a girlfriend which is a new thing and I don’t care what orientation she is but feel she is extremely vulnerable right now.
I’ve had little or no contact with her for nearly two months, I’ve got social services and adult mental health service involved but nothing is happening.
I just don’t know what else I can do, actually feel a bit better just getting it down on here.

Thats a nightmare mate, i hope your daughters fine and that you'll get her back soon. Thats alot for a Dad to deal with and must be too much for your daughter to deal with right now - thats probably why she's cut yous off and turned her life upside down. I hope and pray you get her back soon and yous can start mending together - in the meantime if you ever want to talk or vent mate theres always plenty of your fellow blues and great listeners here for you Graeme.

 

[Gwladysover]

I have to admit I’m struggling right now. It’s bloody hard being me as I’m meant to keep the family together and ironically I’m a mental health nurse practitioner.
My Daughter was raped in February and we just found out that even though there is CCTV footage of the lad leaving the scene there is no DNA evidence so it’s her word against his.
Since February my daughter has gone off the rails, lost her job, stays in her flat all day and is out at night drinking and possibly drugs. She has now got a girlfriend which is a new thing and I don’t care what orientation she is but feel she is extremely vulnerable right now.
I’ve had little or no contact with her for nearly two months, I’ve got social services and adult mental health service involved but nothing is happening.
I just don’t know what else I can do, actually feel a bit better just getting it down on here.

What an absolutely dreadful situation for you all to have to deal with. I agree with @Earwigjoe that it must be just too overwhelming for your daughter at the moment. Just let her know that you are there for her whenever she is ready, if she doesn’t answer her phone perhaps you could write a letter. Meantime post your feelings on here, there’s always a sympathetic ear. Best wishes to you and your family ?

 

[Spotty]

I have to admit I’m struggling right now. It’s bloody hard being me as I’m meant to keep the family together and ironically I’m a mental health nurse practitioner.
My Daughter was raped in February and we just found out that even though there is CCTV footage of the lad leaving the scene there is no DNA evidence so it’s her word against his.
Since February my daughter has gone off the rails, lost her job, stays in her flat all day and is out at night drinking and possibly drugs. She has now got a girlfriend which is a new thing and I don’t care what orientation she is but feel she is extremely vulnerable right now.
I’ve had little or no contact with her for nearly two months, I’ve got social services and adult mental health service involved but nothing is happening.
I just don’t know what else I can do, actually feel a bit better just getting it down on here.

Hi Graeme, what a terrible experience for your daughter and naturally you are very worried and upset yourself. Your daughter is traumatised. She is experiencing PTSD and is " coping " with it in the best way she can. I myself am a psychy nurse and from what your saying it appears to me there is a degree of self harm, drinking and taking drugs ?. A sort of " it's my fault, I deserve it and I deserve to be punished ". A false narrative as you know. It must be very very hard for her to discuss with you, her dad, her rape, knowing how much it will hurt you. She doesn't want anyone else to be hurt " because of her ". I strongly suspect bud she's protecting you.

Of course, she may really benefit from CBT, Trauma Therapy and she would have been offered that by the Professionals involved with supporting her. But as you know, you have to be ready for it. As usual the good folk on here are very wise and supportive. Might I suggest a letter to her Graeme. Tell her you love her, you want to help her I any way but realise she may not be ready. Tell her your going to be there for her whenever she wants, all she needs to do is call you, and you'll be there. This way she'll know your thinking of her and offering your support.

I don't know how this has affected buddy but I can guess. Look after yourself and talk to people, I suspect there are lots of people wanting to support you as well. Take care my friend.

 

[Spotty]

What an absolutely dreadful situation for you all to have to deal with. I agree with @Earwigjoe that it must be just too overwhelming for your daughter at the moment. Just let her know that you are there for her whenever she is ready, if she doesn’t answer her phone perhaps you could write a letter. Meantime post your feelings on here, there’s always a sympathetic ear. Best wishes to you and your family ?

Gladys I've just noticed you too thought of a letter as a suggestion for support, prior to my post. As usual your wise words will be of comfort to someone and this Forum is better for you posting on it. There are some very supportive caring people on this forum, you should be proud to include yourself in that number. What a wonderful resource and sounding board for people who are struggling.

 

[Pokitren]

Sadly, lots of people only give an eff about themselves now mate.

And this trend will only increase as competition among people increases. I think so.

 

[Earwigjoe]

And this trend will only increase as competition among people increases. I think so.

Welcome to the forum mate. How are you ??

 

[Sassy Colombian]

It's been a tricky few months. Finally managed to get my son into local Spanish school (his mum didn't want him to go to school) He with the jet blonde hair. 5 years old, today was his first day, I was nervous. He waltz's straight in didn't even look back. What a hero. So proud

Kids are much braver than we are. That’s great news about your son getting into school, it will do him well having this interaction with other children. Very happy for you two ?

 

[Sassy Colombian]

The lack of awareness in what a symbol cane is used for has really shocked me over the past couple of years .

the amount of people who stare or make idiotic stupid comments is beyond belief and Liverpool is the worst city for it. The anxiety i feel leaving the house never mind going to an away game makes me feel physically sick. Some of our fans are the worst .

its not just kids either adults in there 30’s and well above are even worse .

it must be hell for people completely blind to deal with. I’m lucky really .

Some human beings are just so cruel. I’m sorry you have to deal with such rubbish attitudes.