Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Earwigjoe]

Joe

That is superb.

I had the honour of stewarding the arrival and veneration of a 1st class relic of St Teresa of Calcutta in Kilkenny a couple of years ago.

Astounding to learn from her writings after her death, how often she had deep, dark doubts about her faith. Living and working in such wretched conditions she often wondered if there really is God.

If she could keep going, who am I to whinge about my very comfortable existence.

God bless.

Absolutely what a wonderful, wonderful woman. We were in Fatima 2017 for the 100th anniversary and we met a pilgrimage group from India and started chatting about mother Teresa they were so excited that we'd heard of her and were practically taking turns to tell us stories of her life and struggles. Wonderful people and a wonderful holy woman whose life of faith, hope and charity empowered, strengthened and gave hope to more people than she ever could have imagined. Who's the rovers you mention buddy that you follow also.???

 

[Bluerover]

Absolutely what a wonderful, wonderful woman. We were in Fatima 2017 for the 100th anniversary and we met a pilgrimage group from India and started chatting about mother Teresa they were so excited that we'd heard of her and were practically taking turns to tell us stories of her life and struggles. Wonderful people and a wonderful holy woman whose life of faith, hope and charity empowered, strengthened and gave hope to more people than she ever could have imagined. Who's the rovers you mention buddy that you follow also.???

Shamrock Rovers naturally!

Home of Peter Farrell and Tommy Eglintin, two Everton legends.

St Teresa first joined the Irish Loreto Order but did not like that they lived behind walls in Calcutta. She founded her own order to go and live and work side by side with the poor.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Shamrock Rovers naturally!

Home of Peter Farrell and Tommy Eglintin, two Everton legends.

St Teresa first joined the Irish Loreto Order but did not like that they lived behind walls in Calcutta. She founded her own order to go and live and work side by side with the poor.

Haha I was hoping it was Shamrock Rovers, I used to follow them for years still watch for their results. Never been to the Tallaght stadium or Milltown but used to go for years when they were at the rds. Super Stevie Geoghan up front, they were the days and into the Submarine or White horse after. Its a small world..

 

[Bluerover]

Haha I was hoping it was Shamrock Rovers, I used to follow them for years still watch for their results. Never been to the Tallaght stadium or Milltown but used to go for years when they were at the rds. Super Stevie Geoghan up front, they were the days and into the Submarine or White horse after. Its a small world..

Are you based in Ireland? I have been in living in Kilkenny since January 1990.

I was brought to Milltown regularly as a toddler and clearly remember the friendly v Everton the new League Champions in the summer of 1970. I also saw them at Dalymount the following year.

Everton came over every year from about 1965 to 1972, probably because of the Farrell/Eglinton connection.

I started going under my own steam from about 1977. ECWC against Apoel was a great memory with Stevie Lynex scoringinboth legs 3-0 on aggregate. Some change in Apoel now with all the Russian money!!

I was on all night pickets in summer of 1987 to no avail as Kilcoynes sold us out.

I refused to go to Tolka but, like you, went to the RDS.

Tallaght is a great matchday experience, 10k all seated with another 2I stand to come.

Hopefully we win this shortened league and make it a double with Cup.

In the 80s I witnessed 4 leagues in a row including three Doubles in a row under the great Jim Mcloughlin.


The less said about the Giles and Dunphy years the better! One fluke Cup win against Sligo was all they had to show for their tedious boring tactics.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Are you based in Ireland? I have been in living in Kilkenny since January 1990.

I was brought to Milltown regularly as a toddler and clearly remember the friendly v Everton the new League Champions in the summer of 1970. I also saw them at Dalymount the following year.

Everton came over every year from about 1965 to 1972, probably because of the Farrell/Eglinton connection.

I started going under my own steam from about 1977. ECWC against Apoel was a great memory with Stevie Lynex scoringinboth legs 3-0 on aggregate. Some change in Apoel now with all the Russian money!!

I was on all night pickets in summer of 1987 to no avail as Kilcoynes sold us out.

I refused to go to Tolka but, like you, went to the RDS.

Tallaght is a great matchday experience, 10k all seated with another 2I stand to come.

Hopefully we win this shortened league and make it a double with Cup.

In the 80s I witnessed 4 leagues in a row including three Doubles in a row under the great Jim Mcloughlin.


The less said about the Giles and Dunphy years the better! One fluke Cup win against Sligo was all they had to show for their tedious boring tactics.

Co. Down man, used to live in Belfast at the time though followed the Rovers and spent alot of time in Dublin before settling down etc. still have Rovers tattoo .

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Hi Blue Brethren!

Been a few months since I posted on here from hospital. Been home now for three months and still not near my old self but much better than I was.

People need to understand it is not like a switch that one can simply turn on but rather is a very slow burner both on the way down and coming back up.

Thank God I have a wonderful wife and daughter who give me space.

I explained in earlier posts how 3 years of being bullied at work caused my collapse. The manager is at a very high level as indeed is my own rank.

I have lots of medical support that I must not return to my previous job, and I am still waiting for my Government Department to assign me to a different post. My request for transfer was made at the beginning of December 2019.

I am regularly in touch with the senior officer who has responsibility for HR - the Personnel Officer reports to her.

Quite frustrating as I know that I have given 33 years of excellent service to the State in three different Departments with minimal sick leave before last May.

Thanks to you all for your kind messages of support- they really helped.

Stay safe!

BR

I am so glad you are feeling better and you continue to recover. Having also been a Government employee for 30+ years, I absolutely know how some managers (usually the ones promoted out of their depth) can be cruel vindictive bullies. I hope your transfer comes through soon.

 

[Bluerover]

Blue Brethren

Thank God I had a call from the Assistant Secretary General over HR. The Sec Gen has agreed and approved my transfer to head up a different Division. No date yet but my life is about to change for the better.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.

Onwards and upwards!!

 

[summerisle]

 

[PSB1]

I lost my partner about three years ago. Realized during the week, speaking to someone, that it's still raw and affects the way I look at and treat other people and myself. Done the therapy and on the anti depressants (Mirtazapine 45mg). I'm also "in touch" with the local Crisis Team.

It was a freak accident and he was only 53.

I feel cheated, though my lips say the right thing (Just glad we had 22 years together). I found out pretty quickly that folk don't like to be reminded of your tragedy.

Day to day, I function. I keep the place clean and tidy, I exercise and eat properly (except for the chocolate!) and I try to socialise though - like everyone else - that hasn't been so easy since March. I work for a charity (online now, of course) Inside tho', nothing but a void. I see myself standing on the edge of a bottomless hole.

They say it's better to have loved and lost ... man, I wish I could believe that.

A big part of me hopes that no - one will read this post. None of you deserves this downer.

So is there nothing good? Well, after 50 years, I may have seen an Everton footballer with the skill, and possibly, the influence, of Alan Ball. Never dreamed I'd ever say that, so thanks Jimmy Rods. As to the rest of it, I really don't know.

 

[dave n]

It sounds like your doing all the right things . Sir Tom Moore recently said " please remember tomorrow will be a good day.
Keep looking forward and being busy and you will be ok. But don't be scared to ask for help or talk.
Exercise really clears my head. Running is my thing but I also like just putting my music and going for a long slow walk.

 

[iamEverton]

Sup lads how are you handling the Vid19? Lockdowns? Are you guys satisfied with your governance?

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I lost my partner about three years ago. Realized during the week, speaking to someone, that it's still raw and affects the way I look at and treat other people and myself. Done the therapy and on the anti depressants (Mirtazapine 45mg). I'm also "in touch" with the local Crisis Team.

It was a freak accident and he was only 53.

I feel cheated, though my lips say the right thing (Just glad we had 22 years together). I found out pretty quickly that folk don't like to be reminded of your tragedy.

Day to day, I function. I keep the place clean and tidy, I exercise and eat properly (except for the chocolate!) and I try to socialise though - like everyone else - that hasn't been so easy since March. I work for a charity (online now, of course) Inside tho', nothing but a void. I see myself standing on the edge of a bottomless hole.

They say it's better to have loved and lost ... man, I wish I could believe that.

A big part of me hopes that no - one will read this post. None of you deserves this downer.

So is there nothing good? Well, after 50 years, I may have seen an Everton footballer with the skill, and possibly, the influence, of Alan Ball. Never dreamed I'd ever say that, so thanks Jimmy Rods. As to the rest of it, I really don't know.

This is such a heartfelt post. I am so sorry about the loss of your partner. Three years is no time to come to terms with what must have been the worst experience anybody can go through. There is no time limit on grief. Think about the good times you had together. Talk to him, he'll be listening. Stay strong, what would he want you to do? And if you do want to talk, this is the place to do it. Much love x

 

[Spotty]

I lost my partner about three years ago. Realized during the week, speaking to someone, that it's still raw and affects the way I look at and treat other people and myself. Done the therapy and on the anti depressants (Mirtazapine 45mg). I'm also "in touch" with the local Crisis Team.

It was a freak accident and he was only 53.

I feel cheated, though my lips say the right thing (Just glad we had 22 years together). I found out pretty quickly that folk don't like to be reminded of your tragedy.

Day to day, I function. I keep the place clean and tidy, I exercise and eat properly (except for the chocolate!) and I try to socialise though - like everyone else - that hasn't been so easy since March. I work for a charity (online now, of course) Inside tho', nothing but a void. I see myself standing on the edge of a bottomless hole.

They say it's better to have loved and lost ... man, I wish I could believe that.

A big part of me hopes that no - one will read this post. None of you deserves this downer.

So is there nothing good? Well, after 50 years, I may have seen an Everton footballer with the skill, and possibly, the influence, of Alan Ball. Never dreamed I'd ever say that, so thanks Jimmy Rods. As to the rest of it, I really don't know.

PSB1 sounds to me that you are suffering for loving your partner so much now he is gone it feels nothing is worth it. Well I'm here to tell you life is worth it. Every once in a while something happens to you or you hear about something that makes you think " that's great, I feel good ". You say you d you work for a charity. I bet you there are people who have benefitted from your caring and compassion. If you didn't intervene, help, their lives would be a lot harder. I don't know what your partner was like and I'm pretty sure he was a caring compassionate fella like yourself. I'm confident he would have thought he wanted you to live a fulfilling life. You said your engaged with the crisis team which would also mean you are / have been struggling. It also means and tells me you have the character to get over what your going through now. How do I know? because you've done it before. I can't tell you I know how you feel, because I can't. I've told people on here before, everyone reacts differently to losing someone. Some can move on quicker than others. Please continue talking to your support, what does your care plan say if you have one, for when you feel very down, what helps. It may be you talk to someone, visit friends or family, call someone. Does distraction work for you? Having a good cry, getting it out, talking to him telling him how much you loved him. He might be listening, knowing your struggling, comforting you. I tell mum I miss her and want to tell her I loved her and look forward to seeing her. I hope and believe she listening. You are not alone, people are out there who care, who want to help. But they need to know your struggling. You have a lot to give people, a lot to offer and people need you. Please let people know your struggling fella, tell them how much pain you feel and you tell them how much you miss your partner. It's OK, people will understand. I have made a link for you to MIND which I'm sure you've heard of. Have a look and see what you think. Good luck sir, what your experiencing is pain but it is to be expected. It just demonstrates how much you loved him. Good luck, I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

 

[Spotty]

I lost my partner about three years ago. Realized during the week, speaking to someone, that it's still raw and affects the way I look at and treat other people and myself. Done the therapy and on the anti depressants (Mirtazapine 45mg). I'm also "in touch" with the local Crisis Team.

It was a freak accident and he was only 53.

I feel cheated, though my lips say the right thing (Just glad we had 22 years together). I found out pretty quickly that folk don't like to be reminded of your tragedy.

Day to day, I function. I keep the place clean and tidy, I exercise and eat properly (except for the chocolate!) and I try to socialise though - like everyone else - that hasn't been so easy since March. I work for a charity (online now, of course) Inside tho', nothing but a void. I see myself standing on the edge of a bottomless hole.

They say it's better to have loved and lost ... man, I wish I could believe that.

A big part of me hopes that no - one will read this post. None of you deserves this downer.

So is there nothing good? Well, after 50 years, I may have seen an Everton footballer with the skill, and possibly, the influence, of Alan Ball. Never dreamed I'd ever say that, so thanks Jimmy Rods. As to the rest of it, I really don't know.

Here is that link bud, take care.

What is bereavement?

Read about what bereavement and grief are and how they affect different people, including anticipatory grief and secondary loss.

www.mind.org.uk

 

[PSB1]

@anjelikaferrett @Spotty

What would he have said? He'd have taken one look at the coffin and "Let's swap. I'll do the eulogy."

His compassion knew no bounds and his contempt for people who flaunted wealth in the face of poverty drove him to distraction. He taught me to be kinder and to keep my mouth shut when I didn't know what I was talking about. He also taught me that you can take a plate of sausage rolls - complete with doily - into Goodison and not get murdered. At one derby in the 90's, he decided to play the silly queen and remarked loudly that the most important thing was that both sides just had fun!

He was a remarkable survivor of dreadful abuse in his childhood and teenage years. He won the Young Scientist of the year in the late 70's and had a successful career in digital security. He was a little gobshite, a saint, a great cook and good humoured. He was kind enough to think I was funny (I'm really not.)

At the Crem, I read out Funeral Blues and every goddam word had a weight of lead to it. We saw him out with One In A Million Men by Pet Shop Boys - his fave band.

Thing is, I believe that our genetics and our upbringing / early experiences provide us with a bag of tools to deal with stuff later on. My bag of tools doesn't really have anything to cope with losing him.

But there we are. S*** happens.