Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

Thanks for that lovely post mate. I haven’t seen the fella I support for over 3 mths now and I can’t see him again until there’s been a risk assessment on him.

I even asked the charity if I could meet him outdoors in a park or somewhere similar, but they just won’t have it.

It’s the same right across all of the voluntary sector and there’s a tragedy unfolding, as a lot of the people being supported are incredibly vulnerable and lonely too, with the volunteers playing a big part in their lives

Couldn't agree more. I also don't think we have even started to scratch the surface of working at home as regards mental health and depression. For some the only social interaction they get is with their work colleagues and it is important. There no spontaneity with working at home - if you want to talk to somebody you have to check that they are available, ring them, Skype them and it isn't the same as just turning round at your desk and saying "guess what...." Also the job I do can be pretty bleak and we laugh inappropriately at things that we come across. I can't do that with my family members, they would be horrified.

As somebody whose most closest and dearest friends have been made in or through work and whose most epic nights out have often been work based, even the hastily arranged pub crawls after work on a Friday, I feel sorry for the younger generation who are not having that experience. Social isolation is going to be a big issue.

I'm quite outgoing by nature, I really struggled at the beginning of lockdown, I felt like I was working under exam conditions all the time and I missed all the random people you would see coming and going on a daily basis. I have family who live with me - if I had lived on my own it would have been much worse. I've got used to it now and the social interactions are evolving. I am sure there will be a huge upsurge in mental health issues that will be tracked back to home working.

 

[COYBL25]

Couldn't agree more. I also don't think we have even started to scratch the surface of working at home as regards mental health and depression. For some the only social interaction they get is with their work colleagues and it is important. There no spontaneity with working at home - if you want to talk to somebody you have to check that they are available, ring them, Skype them and it isn't the same as just turning round at your desk and saying "guess what...." Also the job I do can be pretty bleak and we laugh inappropriately at things that we come across. I can't do that with my family members, they would be horrified.

As somebody whose most closest and dearest friends have been made in or through work and whose most epic nights out have often been work based, even the hastily arranged pub crawls after work on a Friday, I feel sorry for the younger generation who are not having that experience. Social isolation is going to be a big issue.

I'm quite outgoing by nature, I really struggled at the beginning of lockdown, I felt like I was working under exam conditions all the time and I missed all the random people you would see coming and going on a daily basis. I have family who live with me - if I had lived on my own it would have been much worse. I've got used to it now and the social interactions are evolving. I am sure there will be a huge upsurge in mental health issues that will be tracked back to home working.

The simple fact is that people need to be with other people for their own mental health, which is intrinsically linked to their physical health.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

The simple fact is that people need to be with other people for their own mental health, which is intrinsically linked to their physical health.

Absolutely.

 

[Bluerover]

Hi Blue Brethren!

Been a few months since I posted on here from hospital. Been home now for three months and still not near my old self but much better than I was.

People need to understand it is not like a switch that one can simply turn on but rather is a very slow burner both on the way down and coming back up.

Thank God I have a wonderful wife and daughter who give me space.

I explained in earlier posts how 3 years of being bullied at work caused my collapse. The manager is at a very high level as indeed is my own rank.

I have lots of medical support that I must not return to my previous job, and I am still waiting for my Government Department to assign me to a different post. My request for transfer was made at the beginning of December 2019.

I am regularly in touch with the senior officer who has responsibility for HR - the Personnel Officer reports to her.

Quite frustrating as I know that I have given 33 years of excellent service to the State in three different Departments with minimal sick leave before last May.

Thanks to you all for your kind messages of support- they really helped.

Stay safe!

BR

 

[Spotty]

Feeling pretty demoralised recently, had a few dates which have seemed to go well, then just been blocked out of the blue each time over the past 2-3 months. Just a case of picking yourself back up, dusting yourself off and trying to find someone right I know, but it definitely hurts when you haven’t seemingly done anything wrong

Chester I don't know your age but I'll guarantee that out there there will be someone saying " why can't I get a nice fella". I'm no relationship expert but let me tell you a little anecdote. I spent 11 years in the Navy, drank too much and slept with anything and everything. I was an alcoholic, was 24 and remember praying for someone to love, to care about. Mum thought I was drinking myself to death. Cut a long story short I met a lovely caring lass, had 2 wonderful boys and been married for 30 years. I've been blessed. The point is Chester, don't try to hard, be yourself and I guarantee it will happen. Both of you will " know" it's good. Try not to worry, let it happen.

 

[Spotty]

Hi Blue Brethren!

Been a few months since I posted on here from hospital. Been home now for three months and still not near my old self but much better than I was.

People need to understand it is not like a switch that one can simply turn on but rather is a very slow burner both on the way down and coming back up.

Thank God I have a wonderful wife and daughter who give me space.

I explained in earlier posts how 3 years of being bullied at work caused my collapse. The manager is at a very high level as indeed is my own rank.

I have lots of medical support that I must not return to my previous job, and I am still waiting for my Government Department to assign me to a different post. My request for transfer was made at the beginning of December 2019.

I am regularly in touch with the senior officer who has responsibility for HR - the Personnel Officer reports to her.

Quite frustrating as I know that I have given 33 years of excellent service to the State in three different Departments with minimal sick leave before last May.

Thanks to you all for your kind messages of support- they really helped.

Stay safe!

BR

Blue, I suggest you " thought" you were in your comfort zone. I'm so pleased you've found contentment. You did the right thing on asking for help and you in my opinion are well qualified in helping other people. Well done.

 

[ChesterBlue]

Chester I don't know your age but I'll guarantee that out there there will be someone saying " why can't I get a nice fella". I'm no relationship expert but let me tell you a little anecdote. I spent 11 years in the Navy, drank too much and slept with anything and everything. I was an alcoholic, was 24 and remember praying for someone to love, to care about. Mum thought I was drinking myself to death. Cut a long story short I met a lovely caring lass, had 2 wonderful boys and been married for 30 years. I've been blessed. The point is Chester, don't try to hard, be yourself and I guarantee it will happen. Both of you will " know" it's good. Try not to worry, let it happen.

I appreciate it mate, I think that might be the case that I’m maybe trying a bit too hard and wanting things to happen too much

 

[Spotty]

I know it's a time bomb mate I've a couple of disabled kids and they've been stuck in the house for 6mths, only got them back to school recently it was so weird taking them back and leaving them for a few hours.

COYB do you get support with your kids mate. You do know you can apply if you need it for respite and have you got all your benefits your entitled to.? There's a wonderful organization called Turn2us. They can do a benefit calculation for you or there's a benefit calculator on the web site you can input info yourself. Hope it's not too personal a question.

 

[Bluerover]

Blue, I suggest you " thought" you were in your comfort zone. I'm so pleased you've found contentment. You did the right thing on asking for help and you in my opinion are well qualified in helping other people. Well done.

Cheers mate. The performances of Rovers and Everton are really helping as are the messages from you and others on this thread.

Basically I am waiting for a new posting with very strong medical support including the Public Service CMO with whom I had a 90 minute interview. All day I cannot go back to my previous situation.

As a committed Christian I will not take any legal action as I must forgive even my enemies. That man is as close as I have ever come to evil....yet I pray for him every day.

I just want to get back to work and serve my State as I have done for decades.

Cheers!

 

[Spotty]

COYB do you get support with your kids mate. You do know you can apply if you need it for respite and have you got all your benefits your entitled to.? There's a wonderful organization called Turn2us. They can do a benefit calculation for you or there's a benefit calculator on the web site you can input info yourself. Hope it's not too personal a question.

Cheers mate. The performances of Rovers and Everton are really helping as are the messages from you and others on this thread.

Basically I am waiting for a new posting with very strong medical support including the Public Service CMO with whom I had a 90 minute interview. All day I cannot go back to my previous situation.

As a committed Christian I will not take any legal action as I must forgive even my enemies. That man is as close as I have ever come to evil....yet I pray for him every day.

I just want to get back to work and serve my State as I have done for decades.

Cheers!

Cheers mate. The performances of Rovers and Everton are really helping as are the messages from you and others on this thread.

Basically I am waiting for a new posting with very strong medical support including the Public Service CMO with whom I had a 90 minute interview. All day I cannot go back to my previous situation.

As a committed Christian I will not take any legal action as I must forgive even my enemies. That man is as close as I have ever come to evil....yet I pray for him every day.

I just want to get back to work and serve my State as I have done for decades.

Cheers!

Blue it must be hard as a Christian to find another person as vindictive and nasty as your previous manager. All credit it to you sir, turning the other cheek, and as you know as a God fearing man, we all have to face the big fella and hope as I do, that he / she will say " you've got things wrong son but you tried to be kind and your heart is in the right place". That's what I hope happens. Cheers.

 

[Spotty]

Couldn't agree more. I also don't think we have even started to scratch the surface of working at home as regards mental health and depression. For some the only social interaction they get is with their work colleagues and it is important. There no spontaneity with working at home - if you want to talk to somebody you have to check that they are available, ring them, Skype them and it isn't the same as just turning round at your desk and saying "guess what...." Also the job I do can be pretty bleak and we laugh inappropriately at things that we come across. I can't do that with my family members, they would be horrified.

As somebody whose most closest and dearest friends have been made in or through work and whose most epic nights out have often been work based, even the hastily arranged pub crawls after work on a Friday, I feel sorry for the younger generation who are not having that experience. Social isolation is going to be a big issue.

I'm quite outgoing by nature, I really struggled at the beginning of lockdown, I felt like I was working under exam conditions all the time and I missed all the random people you would see coming and going on a daily basis. I have family who live with me - if I had lived on my own it would have been much worse. I've got used to it now and the social interactions are evolving. I am sure there will be a huge upsurge in mental health issues that will be tracked back to home working.

Great post this.

 

[Bluerover]

Blue it must be hard as a Christian to find another person as vindictive and nasty as your previous manager. All credit it to you sir, turning the other cheek, and as you know as a God fearing man, we all have to face the big fella and hope as I do, that he / she will say " you've got things wrong son but you tried to be kind and your heart is in the right place". That's what I hope happens. Cheers.

Christ tells us to be kind to our enemies. This man has set out to destroy me and succeeded in breaking me over 3 years so that I was hospitalized for 6 weeks.

I worked happily for 4 managers at the same level before this gent.

I was never in hospital for anything in my life before May.

Thanks mate.

 

[Earwigjoe]

COYB do you get support with your kids mate. You do know you can apply if you need it for respite and have you got all your benefits your entitled to.? There's a wonderful organization called Turn2us. They can do a benefit calculation for you or there's a benefit calculator on the web site you can input info yourself. Hope it's not too personal a question.

I've been called many a name good and bad but never COYB I'll take it as a compliment as he's a good man. I'm blessed not only with a great family but good job too and there's not much help available it seems if you work. Regarding respite its not something we'd be interested in but I know others that use it and love it. Thanks for the concern though.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Christ tells us to be kind to our enemies. This man has set out to destroy me and succeeded in breaking me over 3 years so that I was hospitalized for 6 weeks.

I worked happily for 4 managers at the same level before this gent.

I was never in hospital for anything in my life before May.

Thanks mate.

Glad to hear you're on the mend. I hope everything works out for you. I also applaud the strength you have to forgive, its easier said than done, forgiveness is one of the hardest things in life to do. The hurt becomes a weight around our necks for way too long. I love this saying from Mother Teresa,
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

 

[Bluerover]

Glad to hear you're on the mend. I hope everything works out for you. I also applaud the strength you have to forgive, its easier said than done, forgiveness is one of the hardest things in life to do. The hurt becomes a weight around our necks for way too long. I love this saying from Mother Teresa,
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Joe

That is superb.

I had the honour of stewarding the arrival and veneration of a 1st class relic of St Teresa of Calcutta in Kilkenny a couple of years ago.

Astounding to learn from her writings after her death, how often she had deep, dark doubts about her faith. Living and working in such wretched conditions she often wondered if there really is God.

If she could keep going, who am I to whinge about my very comfortable existence.

God bless.