Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Disgruntledgoat]

You need to speak to the union mate.

This just isn’t right, you’re either off sick, which means no contact from work other than for welfare reasons or you’re in work

The way it reads is that he’s trying to turn the screw and punish / get revenge for your resignation.

If this was the UK an employment lawyer would be all over that.

With regards to your sick note, you shouldn’t go back ( if at all ) until you’re well enough - whenever that may be.

The longer you’re under this type of stress, the worse for your long term future mental health.

I was off sick with depression and work related anxiety for 18 mths before I resigned and ended up with an ill health pension due to what they’d put me through.

That was over 15 yrs ago and I still get mad anxiety attacks over nothing and suffer with terrible insomnia.

@Joey66 will tell you a similar story as a result of a workplace bullying campaign.

Thanks mate.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks mate.

Speak to your union as a matter of urgency.

It was work that caused your illness and he’s just completely ignoring that and piling more pressure on you regardless.

 

[brieverton]

You need to speak to the union mate.

This just isn’t right, you’re either off sick, which means no contact from work other than for welfare reasons or you’re in work

The way it reads is that he’s trying to turn the screw and punish / get revenge for your resignation.

If this was the UK an employment lawyer would be all over that.

With regards to your sick note, you shouldn’t go back ( if at all ) until you’re well enough - whenever that may be.

The longer you’re under this type of stress, the worse for your long term future mental health.

I was off sick with depression and work related anxiety for 18 mths before I resigned and ended up with an ill health pension due to what they’d put me through.

That was over 15 yrs ago and I still get mad anxiety attacks over nothing and suffer with terrible insomnia.

@Joey66 will tell you a similar story as a result of a workplace bullying campaign.

I can only reiterate all of this.

You are off work due to sickness, ergo you shouldn't be expected to perform any duties relating to your employment.

I'm actually shocked and taken aback at the complete disregard shown to your health by your manager.

They say crap rolls downhill and he is just trying to use you a scapegoat.

 

[AmericasToffee]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

Paging @anjelikaferrett

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

I don't know any Dutch employment law but bullying is bullying in any language. he is forcing you to work when you are off sick. You could take out a grievance against him for bullying you. Threaten him. tell him he is making your condition worse and that you will take out a grievance. Apologies if I've missed this in your post but do you have the option of having an Occupational Health assessment. I would ask for one which may tell your boss to leave you alone.

And talk to your Union rep. Get them to speak to your boss on your behalf.

Apologies if none of this is relevant.

 

[Spotty]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

Good advice on here. Employers have no leeway AT ALL if you have a bonified sick note. Send a letter, polite but brief in words such as: " I have a valid sick note. I will return to work once my health improves. I will contact you again should there be further developments ". They are allowed to keep in touch but YOU MUST be given time to recover bud.

 

[COYBL25]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

Has he got off your back yet ?

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Has he got off your back yet ?

I switched my phone off yesterday and haven't turned it back on since. Bit agricultural but its done the trick.

 

[cronullasharks]

I switched my phone off yesterday and haven't turned it back on since. Bit agricultural but its done the trick.

Leave it off all weekend too.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Leave it off all weekend too.

Is right.

 

[Armaghtoffee]

Not asking for a friend rather a much loved family member. Life long anxiety and depression, had a horrible downturn sparked by George Floyd. They feel they can’t breathe, can’t sleep, feel panicked all the time but don’t know why.

I have got the GP involved and they are changing their meds. Off Doscuplin and onto Mirtazapine. Had a counselling session by phone today but I’m not seeing any change in them. I know it’s only one week in and they say give a tablet change 6 weeks but it is so hard to see someone this bad.

Any advice much appreciated, just wish I knew what to say to them.

 

[COYBL25]

Not asking for a friend rather a much loved family member. Life long anxiety and depression, had a horrible downturn sparked by George Floyd. They feel they can’t breathe, can’t sleep, feel panicked all the time but don’t know why.

I have got the GP involved and they are changing their meds. Off Doscuplin and onto Mirtazapine. Had a counselling session by phone today but I’m not seeing any change in them. I know it’s only one week in and they say give a tablet change 6 weeks but it is so hard to see someone this bad.

Any advice much appreciated, just wish I knew what to say to them.

The advice is right mate, it can take that long for them to work.

It’s only my opinion, but if at all possible I think a face to face consultation would be more beneficial than the phone consult ( I know that might not be possible the way things are at the mo )

If possible try and keep them away from the news, as the doom and gloom on there will just reinforce what they’re already feeling.

Try and support them as best as you can and try to get them out of the house for a walk if poss, as it’ll help take their mind of it all, even if it’s just for a short while.

 

[Armaghtoffee]

The advice is right mate, it can take that long for them to work.

It’s only my opinion, but if at all possible I think a face to face consultation would be more beneficial than the phone consult ( I know that might not be possible the way things are at the mo )

If possible try and keep them away from the news, as the doom and gloom on there will just reinforce what they’re already feeling.

Try and support them as best as you can and try to get them out of the house for a walk if poss, as it’ll help take their mind of it all, even if it’s just for a short while.

Face to face is not an option. The GP when hearing about breathing difficulties told them to go for a Covid test but knowing their history agreed to an appointment. GP is brilliant and knows that they use them almost as a counsellor and she hasn’t let them down.

We went for a short walk today (they’re early 70s) but any relief is just so short term. Panic panic panic but doesn’t know why, a constant flight response from them.

I’m praying they will get better, just find some sort of normal soon but Jesus it is hard to see it, support them and still switch on happy Dad when I get home.

Not about me though, just looking a bit of inspiration to be able to say the right thing and help them.

 

[Billy Dean]

Face to face is not an option. The GP when hearing about breathing difficulties told them to go for a Covid test but knowing their history agreed to an appointment. GP is brilliant and knows that they use them almost as a counsellor and she hasn’t let them down.

We went for a short walk today (they’re early 70s) but any relief is just so short term. Panic panic panic but doesn’t know why, a constant flight response from them.

I’m praying they will get better, just find some sort of normal soon but Jesus it is hard to see it, support them and still switch on happy Dad when I get home.

Not about me though, just looking a bit of inspiration to be able to say the right thing and help them.

What was about the George Floyd situation that sparked the anxiety mate?

 

[Armaghtoffee]

What was about the George Floyd situation that sparked the anxiety mate?

Not 100% but I think it triggered memories of seeing violent scenes in NI. Maybe a PTSD thing.

I have spent the morning with them and I see a little bit of improvement. Small steps and all that.