I just found out the new guy in the office next to me is a Red...

[davek]

Show him this:

 

[CalBuckeye_Rob]

Speak slowly and use simple words to avoid confusing him.

 

[Eggsyblueskin]

Just gun him down in cold blood. It's the American way x

In this case it's the right and humane way. Put him out of his misery.

 

[ToffeeTownMilto]

The stairs...

... push him down them.

 

[gmb]

Show him this:

My classically conditioned nationalism just kicked into high gear. Mess this dude up, @johnnydawg68.

 

[marnie]

...What are the odds? For those that don't know I'm in the States.

New guy starts last week. Nice guy, getting along great.

5 minutes ago he walks into my office and sees my second screen with GOT up and says "You a Soccer guy"?

"Yes", I reply.

Him: "What kind of soccer guy"?

Me: "Everton kind of soccer guy"?

Him: "I'm Liverpool".

Me: "Jesus, what did you just say"?

Him: "Yeah, I'm going to bring all my stuff in to decorate my office now".

Me: "So am I then. It's an arms race from here on out".

Also me: "Have you ever been"?

Him: "No".

Me: "Of course you haven't".

It's on now.

Own Him.Make him your little office BISH.

 

[Baines' left foot]

I would honestly swap you right now. The bloke who sits next to me is definitely in the top 10 weirdest people I've known in my life. He sits facing the side of my head and it feels like he's always watching me.

 

[Parkender]

You sound as daft as each other

 

[ste d' indica]

Next time he's due to give a team presentation, hire an actress to turn up at the office in tatty clothes, looking like she's on the bones of her arse, with a wretched waif of a child, stand at the back of the room staring at him and sobbing a little, shout summat like 'SO IT ALL WORKED OUT FOR YOU THEN HEY? YOU SNAKE!!!' then run from the place in tears. That should help his promotion prospects no end.

 

[Groucho]

Him: "Yeah, I'm going to bring all my stuff in to decorate my office now".

This must be stopped.

Post glitter to him too.

 

[ham2]

Make some crap up about him stealing or smoking in the bogs an get him sacked, you gotta be cruel to be kind

 

[sageyefc]

Slip a few dozen laxatives in his drink




Then wait in the bogs and batter him

 

[jaycee]

Prepare for.....

 

[DownOnTheUpside]

Just gun him down in self defence. It's the American way x

ftfy

 

[sageyefc]

Call the terrorist hotline and grass him up