I just found out the new guy in the office next to me is a Red...

[Woolly Blue]

...What are the odds? For those that don't know I'm in the States.

New guy starts last week. Nice guy, getting along great.

5 minutes ago he walks into my office and sees my second screen with GOT up and says "You a Soccer guy"?

"Yes", I reply.

Him: "What kind of soccer guy"?

Me: "Everton kind of soccer guy"?

Him: "I'm Liverpool".

Me: "Jesus, what did you just say"?

Him: "Yeah, I'm going to bring all my stuff in to decorate my office now".

Me: "So am I then. It's an arms race from here on out".

Also me: "Have you ever been"?

Him: "No".

Me: "Of course you haven't".

It's on now.

You need to have a word with your HR department and get your recruitment process sorted out. I've never employed a red, and never will.

 

[tommye]

Slip a few dozen laxatives in his drink




Then wait in the bogs and batter him

Eyedrops. Couple in his coffee. His arsehole won't be his own for a week

 

[nsno-chris]

Take a dump in his drawer

 

[sageyefc]

Shag his wife

 

[Deulofeumygod]

Can we get pics of your desk when it's complete? This is brilliant.

Blu tac a picture of keita/cbs to his computer screen with a big Red Cross through it

 

[DownOnTheUpside]

Ahaha...you know you have to put up updates here then...Im expecting pranks and bantz n' all lol

@Boss bantz

 

[johnnydawg68]

Some ideas to decorate the office...

 

[tommye]

Shag his wife

........

Put the Everton badge up as his screensaver, and then to complete the prank - shag his missus.

He's JDawg. Probably already has.

 

[Zezti]

ask him if he's ever seen this movie

 

[johnnydawg68]

Can we get pics of your desk when it's complete? This is brilliant.

Blu tac a picture of keita/cbs to his computer screen with a big Red Cross through it

Absolutely.

 

[Deulofeumygod]

Absolutely.

I meant vvd not cbs

 

[ilikecheese]

We're not far along enough in the relationship for me to call him a wall pusher or murderer yet. That's a couple weeks out.

Let's be honest he won't get it.

 

[DownOnTheUpside]

I meant vvd not cbs

put one up of CBS too

 

[johnnydawg68]

Let's be honest he won't get it.

I actually get the feeling he would.

 

[tommye]

I actually get the feeling he would.

Leave random lumps of brick/concrete on his desk for him as little gifts.