Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[EFCPaul]

Strange mood today and I've not shaken it now that I'm home. Still finding I have a lot of anger towards work colleagues who don't even deserve my attention.

Does anyone have advice for dealing with anger issues?

 

[Deleted member 24970]

Strange mood today and I've not shaken it now that I'm home. Still finding I have a lot of anger towards work colleagues who don't even deserve my attention.

Does anyone have advice for dealing with anger issues?

For 20+ years i found smacking them when one vs one was the answer. Until i nearly got locked up twice for it. Thats when i got help, im great at giving advice but not taking it.

My answer would be to no matter what, dont give them the satisfaction of the above. You lose your job, house, propspects - the lot.

Look for a job elsewere and just see this job as a temporary position, tell yourself your moving on to bigger and better things. Its bloody hard but its worth the effort. Place yourself around peope/hobbies that help you relaxt, walking around the park to playing your games console, anything that floats your boat.

 

[jonnyg]

Need to get this off my chest somewhere.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years yesterday, I didn't realise it at the time but I sabotaged this relationship (not the first time).
I've been dealing with a lot of self loathing among other issues and I just keep telling myself that I'm a bad person. Then it's like I need confirmation of that and I just do shitty things and start arguments.

Final straw was hearing just how many times she had tried to make things work, to help me deal with whatever I'm dealing with, and how I just end up hurting her repeatedly, I thought ending the relationship might save both of us from me but now I can't forgive myself for how things ended.

 

[hallamblue]

Need to get this off my chest somewhere.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years yesterday, I didn't realise it at the time but I sabotaged this relationship (not the first time).
I've been dealing with a lot of self loathing among other issues and I just keep telling myself that I'm a bad person. Then it's like I need confirmation of that and I just do shitty things and start arguments.

Final straw was hearing just how many times she had tried to make things work, to help me deal with whatever I'm dealing with, and how I just end up hurting her repeatedly, I thought ending the relationship might save both of us from me but now I can't forgive myself for how things ended.

You need to see someone mate. Go and see your GP, and if you can afford it, pay to see a counsellor. They will be able to help you work through your issues and start to like yourself as a person. Once you start to like yourself, others will like you too. Good luck.

 

[efcforever]

Need to get this off my chest somewhere.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years yesterday, I didn't realise it at the time but I sabotaged this relationship (not the first time).
I've been dealing with a lot of self loathing among other issues and I just keep telling myself that I'm a bad person. Then it's like I need confirmation of that and I just do shitty things and start arguments.

Final straw was hearing just how many times she had tried to make things work, to help me deal with whatever I'm dealing with, and how I just end up hurting her repeatedly, I thought ending the relationship might save both of us from me but now I can't forgive myself for how things ended.

I can relate to this. I often feel like I'm a bad person and feel guilty for no reason. Fortunately for me my wife is very patient with me.

I'll often ask her if everything is ok, so she'll tell everything is fine. I'll ask her if I've done something wrong and if she is angry with me and she'll tell that everything is fine. But sometimes I'll just keep prodding until she snaps. I don't blame her for losing patience sometimes.

It's only recently that I've realised that the anxiety distorts my thinking process.

Have you ever sought any professional help?

 

[jonnyg]

You need to see someone mate. Go and see your GP, and if you can afford it, pay to see a counsellor. They will be able to help you work through your issues and start to like yourself as a person. Once you start to like yourself, others will like you too. Good luck.

I can relate to this. I often feel like I'm a bad person and feel guilty for no reason. Fortunately for me my wife is very patient with me.

I'll often ask her if everything is ok, so she'll tell everything is fine. I'll ask her if I've done something wrong and if she is angry with me and she'll tell that everything is fine. But sometimes I'll just keep prodding until she snaps. I don't blame her for losing patience sometimes.

It's only recently that I've realised that the anxiety distorts my thinking process.

Have you ever sought any professional help?

Thanks for hearing me out both of you.
Haven't been to see anyone about it. Been dealing with intrusive thoughts as well which has been the main thing stopping me from going. Im just afraid that somehow the thoughts are actually my own and that I'm really a bad person and get locked up for it. Sounds silly when I type it out but yeah.

Going to try and sort things out with my girlfriend, whether or not its salvageable think I need to at least talk it through, can't believe I tried to end it through a text.

 

[EFCPaul]

Staying positive is hard. I lack patience admittedly, sometimes if I want something and don't feel things are progressing fast enough I get very dispirited. I'm terrible for assuming that other people I don't like have it better than me and my probably misplaced envy causes me to go from disliking to outright hating them. As you can imagine, that does my mental state no good at all. Giving these people headspace is not healthy but it's hard to dismiss them from your thoughts if you haven't got anything else to focus on in the moment.

I'm a dreamer by nature and it's hard letting go of a dream you put a lot of thought and hope into, even if never was realistic in the first place. It's just a good a thing I have a lot of genuine, good-hearted people around me and to confide in when I feel low and need someone to reach out too. Thanks everyone and always remember that I'm here to reach out too if anyone ever needs an ear.

 

[COYBL25]

Staying positive is hard. I lack patience admittedly, sometimes if I want something and don't feel things are progressing fast enough I get very dispirited. I'm terrible for assuming that other people I don't like have it better than me and my probably misplaced envy causes me to go from disliking to outright hating them. As you can imagine, that does my mental state no good at all. Giving these people headspace is not healthy but it's hard to dismiss them from your thoughts if you haven't got anything else to focus on in the moment.

I'm a dreamer by nature and it's hard letting go of a dream you put a lot of thought and hope into, even if never was realistic in the first place. It's just a good a thing I have a lot of genuine, good-hearted people around me and to confide in when I feel low and need someone to reach out too. Thanks everyone and always remember that I'm here to reach out too if anyone ever needs an ear.

You're doing some great stuff on here and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that you're really helping a lot of others with you're advice / posts.

Don't underestimate how many people lurk, but don't post.

You're helping many more than those that post

 

[efcforever]

Thanks for hearing me out both of you.
Haven't been to see anyone about it. Been dealing with intrusive thoughts as well which has been the main thing stopping me from going. Im just afraid that somehow the thoughts are actually my own and that I'm really a bad person and get locked up for it. Sounds silly when I type it out but yeah.

Going to try and sort things out with my girlfriend, whether or not its salvageable think I need to at least talk it through, can't believe I tried to end it through a text.

Talk to your GP. They will be able to help.

Nothing silly about it. Keep posting. I found it difficult to post at first but the people in this thread are a great help.

Hope you can sort it out with your girlfriend.

 

[riddick]

Just to touch base here. Apparently Chris Cornell committed suicide. There is not 'depression is for weak people' or 'Im strong enough to handle this [Poor language removed]'.

Talk. We lose thousands of people each and every day because of this bullshit. Call anyone. We're all in the same boat, even if you do not have depression. As far as we all know, we get one shot at this. Don't squander it over something fleeting. We're all here for everyone.

 

[wgtwiddle]

Been dealing with intrusive thoughts as well which has been the main thing stopping me from going. Im just afraid that somehow the thoughts are actually my own and that I'm really a bad person and get locked up for it

Whatever goes on inside your head can do no one any harm and is not subject to the laws of right and wrong as our actions are.

 

[wgtwiddle]

Intrusive thoughts

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3634500

 

[GwladysBlue]

Last night this happened again. It was the first time we'd seen each other in four months.

He has beat the **** out of me and now I've got a black eye.

We went together and I mentioned his 'girlfriend' and he flipped.

So my 'mate' who did this to me has text me to say he wants to see me next weekend.

We've hardly spoken since this happened. He has sent me a few snapchaps that I have ignored.

He has told me that he is off the drink and he is feeling good about it.

I really am in two minds as to if I should see him. As mad as it sounds, I have really missed him, but my feelings for him have been numbing lately.

Half of me wants to believe he is off the drink and he wants us to be mates again like we have been since we were kids, the other half of me just thinks he wants his gay fix that he's been without for months whilst trying to keep things normal with his 'girlfriend'.

I want to believe the former. The laughs we used to have when we were together can never be reached by any of my other mates.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

So my 'mate' who did this to me has text me to say he wants to see me next weekend.

We've hardly spoken since this happened. He has sent me a few snapchaps that I have ignored.

He has told me that he is off the drink and he is feeling good about it.

I really am in two minds as to if I should see him. As mad as it sounds, I have really missed him, but my feelings for him have been numbing lately.

Half of me wants to believe he is off the drink and he wants us to be mates again like we have been since we were kids, the other half of me just thinks he wants his gay fix that he's been without for months whilst trying to keep things normal with his 'girlfriend'.

I want to believe the former. The laughs we used to have when we were together can never be reached by any of my other mates.

Please don't go. He's manipulating your feelings again. He's not a nice friend.

 

[LinekersLegs]

So my 'mate' who did this to me has text me to say he wants to see me next weekend.

We've hardly spoken since this happened. He has sent me a few snapchaps that I have ignored.

He has told me that he is off the drink and he is feeling good about it.

I really am in two minds as to if I should see him. As mad as it sounds, I have really missed him, but my feelings for him have been numbing lately.

Half of me wants to believe he is off the drink and he wants us to be mates again like we have been since we were kids, the other half of me just thinks he wants his gay fix that he's been without for months whilst trying to keep things normal with his 'girlfriend'.

I want to believe the former. The laughs we used to have when we were together can never be reached by any of my other mates.

Please, please don't go. Whether he is off the drink or not he has demonstrated he can't be trusted and only thinks of himself, your own safety is at risk.