Seems like an appropriate thread to post this 
A nce touch from the club and suggested by the Fan Forum
A nce touch from the club and suggested by the Fan Forum
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
Excellent, just seen this now.Seems like an appropriate thread to post this
A nce touch from the club and suggested by the Fan Forum
I posted a while ago about my eldest son being diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD and then Asperger's .I am now proud to say after many and varied counsellors and therapists he is on the mend it seems .He has now got a permanent "dream " job and is loving it although he still has dark days they now seem to be outnumbered by the good ,he is on the brink of sorting other aspects of concern and so is in a much better place after his years of hell and torment .
I myself tried to be positive when he would let me be in contact but the job and his best friend seem to be the most influencing parts of his feeling better .He lost a job in a big company when they closed the department and that was in my opinion devastating for him but now he is running a team of twenty with a similar company ,he says he is being paid for doing his hobby which is something we all would strive for I think .
I suggested he come on here but he has never said he did ,if he did then a big thanks to all on this thread
I myself tried to be positive when he would let me be in contact but the job and his best friend seem to be the most influencing parts of his feeling better .He lost a job in a big company when they closed the department and that was in my opinion devastating for him but now he is running a team of twenty with a similar company ,he says he is being paid for doing his hobby which is something we all would strive for I think .
I suggested he come on here but he has never said he did ,if he did then a big thanks to all on this thread
My mental health has been worsening the last few weeks. Struggling with work, not enjoying life generally, and my first child is due in January which makes this a bad time for an episode of depression.
Feeling a lot of guilt because I really canāt be bothered with life yet Iāve got a child on the way. Iām just a dark cloud over my partnerās life atm, she should be excited and enjoying this time, not worrying because Iām unwell.
Feeling a lot of guilt because I really canāt be bothered with life yet Iāve got a child on the way. Iām just a dark cloud over my partnerās life atm, she should be excited and enjoying this time, not worrying because Iām unwell.
Iām really sorry youāre going through this mate, especially during a time thatās already full of big emotions and pressure. Depression doesnāt wait for a āgoodā moment to appear, and feeling unwell and unlike your usual self doesnāt make you a bad partner or a bad Dad to be, it just makes you human.
Itās completely understandable to feel guilt, but the fact that youāre aware of how your mental health affects your partner shows that you're a good person so try not to be too hard on yourself in that respect.
If you can, please reach out for support, whether itās a friend, a professional, or even just talking openly with your partner about the way you're feeling right now. You donāt have to carry this alone, and getting help now is one of the strongest things you can do for yourself, your partner, and your future child.
Youāre not failing, you're not a dark cloud, youāre going through something hard. And you deserve help and compassion just as much as anyone else.
Thomasc
Formerly known as By God I'm Blue
Went to see my mum last night in hospital.
Dementia has taken its full grip now and she wonāt be going home again sadly.
Sheās 86, sheās been getting steadily worse over the last 3 years.
Such a cruel disease. I lasted an hour, itās all I could manage.
Mentally Iām quite āmatter of factā with these things. Iām not particularly close to my parents but itās my duty to go and see her, you only get one mum and all that.
I just want her to be at peace now. Let dad try and enjoy what time he has left as heās 87 and looking after her has taken its toll. Heās not up to the job and I can see the frustration in him.
The sooner sheās in a home being looked after the better.
Dementia has taken its full grip now and she wonāt be going home again sadly.
Sheās 86, sheās been getting steadily worse over the last 3 years.
Such a cruel disease. I lasted an hour, itās all I could manage.
Mentally Iām quite āmatter of factā with these things. Iām not particularly close to my parents but itās my duty to go and see her, you only get one mum and all that.
I just want her to be at peace now. Let dad try and enjoy what time he has left as heās 87 and looking after her has taken its toll. Heās not up to the job and I can see the frustration in him.
The sooner sheās in a home being looked after the better.
It`s starting to happen with my mother in law and everyone but my missus is burying their heads in the sand, including her brother who`s a GP.
Her dad, who`s of a similar age to your mum, is having to shoulder the burden by himself, with my missus pitching in when she can - we live 100 miles away.
It`s an eye opener to see how differently people react to it, as if it was something that caused a " visible " condition like a stroke, I`m sure their behaviour would be completely different.
Instead, pretending there`s nothing wrong, seems to be the order of the day.
Thomasc
Formerly known as By God I'm Blue
Watching my dad deal with it has been interesting. Like your family, there was a bit of denial and lethargy with it initially.
It gets to the stage where itās got to be dealt with eventually, so any heads in the sand will soon be yanked out mate.
I started trying to say to him she will eventually have to go in a home a few months back, I knew there would be resistance, but heās now seemingly at acceptance stage.
Her sister had it as well. Like my mum she deteriorated quite suddenly. Best they get their heads around it sooner rather than later.
From looking from the outside in, what I`m seeing is people are who at the moment " don`t care " as it`s not affecting them.
I don`t envy your situation at all mate, as I can see what`s rapidly coming around the corner for my missus.
On a lighter note, some of it can be really quite funny, like when my mother inlaw recently woke up and started trying to eat the bedside alarm clock, as she thought it was a sandwich !
Thomasc
Formerly known as By God I'm Blue
My mum told me she was going to set fire to me and my dad on Monday
she was telling the nurse I was his brother and she was going to report us to the police as we wouldnāt let her go home. When she gets nasty it can be quite funny. Youāve got to try and see the lighter side in some of it otherwise you could be easily affected.
My mum told me she was going to set fire to me and my dad on Monday
When she gets nasty it can be quite funny. Youāve got to try and see the lighter side in some of it otherwise you could be easily affected.
If done right and with sensitivity, you could make a great tv comedy series out of some of the mad stuff that goes on !
Thomasc
Formerly known as By God I'm Blue
While i was listening to her last night, i couldnāt help thinking, at least Iām not at home watching Everton as we went 3-0 down.
It doesn't just happen to those unfortunate enough to be experiencing mental difficulties. My better half - and who is, I believe, still compos mentis - after a wine night followed by a cheesy garlic bread (which always makes her thirsty) woke up to reach for a bottle of water on the bedside table. She found a bottle with 'straws' in it, removed said 'straws' and took a hefty swing. I was woken up the sound of her gagging on what turned out to be diffuser. I couldn't kiss her for days afterwards because of the smell.
coollino
Player Valuation: Ā£80m
Christ that must have tasted so so bad. My friend super glued an eyelid thinking it was make up
Blue sorry to hear your not feeling well. I concur with the views of others and advise you seek help. Go to see your GP primarily and start there. Also be honest with your partner and approach the problem TOGETHER. When my first child was due I was riddled with insecurity. Will I be a good dad, will I be a good partner. How will I support my family. Your UNDERSTANDABLY worried but here's the thing. There was no one more ill prepared than me. I was a selfish man, was an alcoholic and thought of no one but myself. But for me after being present at the birth of my son, I was driving home thinking " what do I do ?". For the first time in my life I HAD to think of someone other than myself. My love for my partner seing her in pain pushing my son into the World had a profound affect on me, I thought what a fantastic women. The least I could do was TRY to be a good dad and partner. I suspect you will fall in love IMMIEDIETLY with your child. You will make mistakes and have doubt, but if you try your best bud, put your partner and the child first, it will be appreciated by all. We are human, are not infallable and will not get everything right. That's okay, I've yet to meet the perfect dad, I certainly wasn't but we coped. Lots of love given to the child, make sure he or she is safe and well fed and lots of cuddles. As my mum used to say God rest her soul " the bairn just wants a little milk, have a full belly and to be loved and cuddled " and that I'm sure people will agree , is a good start as a father. Your feeling worried but we all were. As I say do things together, parent and love your child together and struggle together. I got one have confidence you will make a lovely dad and partner.God bless fella..
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