Goals from Funes Mori and Romelu Lukaku give Everton a 2-1 victory over Manchester City in Capital One Cup – Semi Final 1st Leg.

Everton triumph in first leg despite injuries.

It’s Everton at Seven Bells in the AM down in the the AU with a fresh cup of coffee and your new Crimbo third shirt on; it can still take a good twenty minutes to detonate the sleep out of your eyes and remember what your name is. What’s our name? The fifth most valuable team on the Planet step onto the green green grass of Goodison in a Classic Semi Final Cup Tie to find out.

On paper have a look at City would you. Three World class players in every position and a playing wage so large it often sits between Luxembourg and Switzerland on the U.N Security Council. I was trying to add up how much the first team they put out today cost, and I stopped at 300m pounds. It’s what James Cameron borrowed to make Avatar and look who gets an actual return. They paid approximately over 70 million for their three CB’s on show today which we basically payed for our whole side. Games not played in the Accounts Department though, Mcbain, so moving on.

Four changes from the draw against Spurs, Joel gets his Cup Spot back, Besic comes off a super cameo, Cleverly shifts left for the on again off again Kone and for want of a better spell checker Delofeu is given the Green light on the Right over Lennon.

Half an hour pre game spent fighting and fuming with a blasted stream, and the same could be said for the opening stanza of the semi final of the Capital Cup. City came out slick and doing what they get paid do, while we sat in the driveway warming up the engine. Ready Da? Not yet son, give – er – a – minute. You almost want us to have our half a game wobble first up, like any heavenly body affected by the gravity of much more expensive Planets pulling us in different directions until we break free and plot a course around the pitch of our own steam.

Three freekicks in as many minutes have City buying some early love off Referee starchypants, but we don’t complain and continue to battle. The first half waxes and wanes, Baines and Besic in particular on game, Lukaku playing fast but loose off Mangala and Otamendi and Delu anonymous for the first quarter. The game picks up after the twenty minute mark and it’s a closely fought game with City getting the better of the chances and the possession.

The ball though, has other ideas and is in the Sky Blue net illegally twice before Fast thinking Funes slaps the back of the City Thigh and has his smouldering way with her. He’s tall and dreamy and the latest in a long line of Cult players we’ll absorb into our ethos. How much was he again? Ball comes over to the back post, it falls to Barkley who has a ping from the top of the 18. Saved by Caballero it drops to Funes who stabs it home. I love a good defenders mindset infront of goal. Was that a couple of Corking Cleverly Corners whipped in actually beating the defensive Garden Gnome who had moved in on the Front Post abar three years ago? He’ll be out of his job. We’re in at the break one-up, couple of scares from Mini Maradonna along the way. I often wonder if there is a Celebrity Football Hair Stylist they all go to. Like where the Gypsy’s always go to get their Wedding Dresses and they charge a fortune.

Half time changes include Demechelis coming on for Mangala and Cleverly making way for Osman. Clevs not quite ready, stop starting him Roberto. Mangala cost three time more that Funes Mori did folks but three times the cost of Demechelis in a bizarre twist of events.

Onto the second half and it really takes until the sixtieth minute before I get shut of xvideos and get my brain on the game. Funnily enough it’s exactly that moment when the game springs to life and City start to take advantage of the space between our midfield and our front line. We always look in control though, with the ‘play it from the back’ mentality just beautiful to watch and not in any way Heart Attack inducing. If we saw this kind of bravado a few years ago with the Neville’s and the Hibbert’s we’d be probably be looking up from League Two, but, in this brave new World of Football Conquistadors we keep the ball at all costs, if we can, and we look to outstretch oppositions with our skill. We get better by the week at it I hope you’re noticing.

Aguero is getting into the mix and blazes a gift over and wide of the bar. The stream then goes on the blink and Jesus Navas apparently scores. The replay shows Aguero doing something Argentinian then passing it into the path of the un-tracked Navas and he tucks it away. Typical. It’s 1-1 and the game is opening up fierce. The defence despite being breached isn’t taking on any more water and we attack like Anzacs on the beaches of Gallipoli throwing caution to the wind. I’ve noticed it’s this point in games nowadays it’s like two boxers coming to the final rounds, each weighing a tonne on heavy legs swinging haymakers until one lands sweet. This time said Haymaker comes from a pinpoint left hand side cross, deep in the City half and with time to float right onto The Lukaku Forehead and into the City Net. Oh Romelu. I knew it would be you. Demechlis, the man with more looks than Wurzel Gummidge lets it go right over his head and Lukaku punishes one and all. No wonder he was so cheap.

The place erupts, and we hold on for all three poin… a good position (basically a draw though tbf) for the second leg in three weeks time. Everyone stood up today, and really put a huge team sort of away. Toe to toe with them anyway. Pity about conceding, Pellegrini won’t mind that one bit. We saw an interesting cameo from Mirallas, secretly hacking down Navas in the box and looking lively on the ball. Osman kept good shape to assist Bainers, who had a really good game to continue his upward return to form. Funes and Stones continue to ace the Passing A Levels while Funes is adding goals and is soaking up the Premiership like a dry sponge. Coleman kept us down to 10 men for the last 10 minutes as he had a calf strain. Barkley, Besic and Barry were everything we wanted them to be with top performances from all three (particularly impressed with Besic – seems to have what McCarthy has and much more), Delu was off the pace somewhat and Lukaku is just a Beast. Lukaku is basically Star Wars The Force Awakens. Only has to turn up to break the Box Office and is showing every top side what they are missing. Good show blues.

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