Latter day Howard in goal. Who knew Tourette's was contagious? Made me swear and jerk involuntarily every time I saw him play.
Oviedo after the injury. Decent player but rendered to Sunderland quality by a very serious leg knack the poor sod.
Alcarez. Utterly appalling.
Fat Ash. Every time he stuck his shirt over his head you just know he was snaffling a crafty Greggs.
Cuco the clown. A bit harsh choosing him because it's not his fault he hadn't even seen a football prior to coming to Everton.
Midfield?
Little Theo. I would say one dimensional and lacking a football brain is a reasonable, if not generous, description.
Segundo. His greatest performance was running away from the bailiffs wanting the child support he owed whilst on international duty.
Cap'n Morgan. Shame on you Schneiderlin. Shame. Capable of so much more but what do we get - crab crab crab. Infuriating.
Tom Snivverly. The Spongebob to Morgan's Squidward in Everton's crab shack. He is the blandest thinnest gruel and was presented by El fenomenino as destinies for greatness... Watford beckoned he was that bad.
Niasse. 7 managers have seen him and 7 managers have came to the same conclusion. He's just simply s#!£€.
Sandro. Now on his 19th loan spell during his time here. About as useful as a 1 legged man in an arse kicking competition.
Managerial Team?
Martinez on defence and set pieces. Moorhead on attack. Silva on motivation duties. All under head coach Fat Scam, an utter abomination of an appointment.